Today, I got stopped at the bank by security for carrying a weapon and threatened to call the police. I had to prove my “metal stick” was not a weapon. I'm partially paralyzed in one of my feet and have to walk with a cane. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I walked into the bank, I tripped and bumped into a security guard. He thought I was assaulting him, so he pinned me to the floor and called for backup as he held me at gunpoint. FML
Today, at the DMV, I was told I had to prove, with a doctor's note, that I was an amputee and that my disability was permanent to get my placard. Apparently, placing my prosthetic leg on the counter wasn't proof enough, and is considered "threatening". The police were called. FML
Today, I stopped by the gun store to pick up a new concealed weapon for protection. As I was leaving the store, a man came up behind me, hit me with a crowbar, and stole my gun. FML
Today, I was detained by a stubborn cop who swore he saw me sprinting away after shoplifting. I’m missing part of my right foot, and walk with a cane and a limp, I haven’t sprinted anyplace in 12 years. Not even showing him my foot convinced him. I was sat in his car over an hour. FML
Today, I realized I've been acting very paranoid lately. I was mugged a few weeks ago, so I've been nervous. I've been holding my hands in my pockets and looking around on my way outside from work. Apparently, that's grounds to arrest someone under suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon. FML
Today, in the middle of an exam, I was escorted out by the campus police due to suspicion of a concealed weapon. The officers couldn't stop laughing for 20 minutes when they found out the weapon was metal knitting needles. FML
Today, while shopping, I was grabbed and dragged off to a security room with no warning. Apparently, the way I was dressed and walking was suspicious. FML
Today, I went to my local bank after getting an email from them concerning unknown purchases. Four hours later, I was still in police custody. Someone had been using my account to purchase guns and drugs. FML
Today, I was arrested for carrying a dangerous weapon. I was on my way home from the shop where I'd bought a new kitchen knife. FML
Today, it's been a few weeks since I deterred a would-be mugger with judicious use of a stun gun. Now he and his criminal friends are stalking me and swearing revenge. I can't afford to move and the cops are useless. FML
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Top comments
SaintJimmy 0
What dipshit security guard can't recognise a cane?
allmidnighteyes 11
Are you Dr. Gregory House?
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Comments (79)
myepic_fail 0
DUDE YOU KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE USE THAT LINE TO ROB BANKS? THEY JUST HAD TO MAKE SURE. CHILL
harttyrelly 4
Nice pic
CMarie_fml 4
@21 How is this a lawsuit? OP- Talk to the manager and have them put a note on your account.. and if they give you a hard time find a new bank.
ak2103 0
If you have a valid Concealed Weapon Permit it is perfectly legal to carry a weapon into a bank. I suspect there is more to this story than what you've written, because a bank's security guard would not hassle you for simply having a weapon. Brandishing it yes, threatening with it yes, but simply having it no. http://www.txdps.state.tx.us/administration/crime_records/chl/tchlaws0102.pdf Q: Where can I not take my handgun? A: Handguns and other weapons can not be carried at schools or on school buses, at polling places, in courts and court offices, at racetracks and at secured airport areas. The law also specifically prohibits handguns from businesses where alcohol is sold if more than half of their revenue is from the sale of alcohol for on-premises consumption, and from locations where high school, college or professional sporting events are taking place. You may not carry handguns in hospitals or nursing homes, amusement parks, places of worship or at government meetings if signs are posted prohibiting them. Businesses also may post signs prohibiting handguns on their premises based on criminal trespass laws. (Notice banks are not mentioned.)
MaddogTotten 0
You do realize that you are quoting either a federal law or a state specific law? Try using that defense in Illinois. States still have the individual right to ban concealed weapons pretty much wherever they want, or everywhere.
ak2103 0
The original poster claimed to be in Texas; I quoted Texas law.
MaddogTotten 0
It was perdix that claimed Texas, but your point makes mores sense to me know. It IS pretty much a free for all there "but your honor, he looked at me cross ways".
stoobo 0
Why did some of you pick "YDI" are you people retarded?
sydefx 0
stop crying
nyuu1234 0
get a bloody wheelchair
polarpaul 0
That'd be considered a get away vehicle.
Ninjaface 0
@ak2103 The bank would fall under the "Businesses also may..." part.
ak2103 0
Only if it's posted so... I've yet to see a bank that was.
Ninjaface 0
Cane-Fu. It's real.
michaelcarell 0
That's ****** up!
alwaysalady 0
How the hell do you not recognize a cane? I mean seriously. Even more so, how do you not recognize a person who needs a cane? If your foot is paralyzed then you will definalty have a some sort of limp going on
chickenfeetyum 0
only in Texas haha