Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML
Today, I was sitting on the toilet, pregnant as ever, and really sick. I asked my fiancé to bring me a pair of clean underwear. He did so and brought me some lacy underwear. They weren't mine. FML
Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML
Today, while on a date with my boyfriend, he broke up with me. The reason why? Because I took a dump in his bathroom and "that's inappropriate for girls." FML
Today, my brother put pepper spray on my toilet paper. FML
Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with an infection, swollen nuts, and a hole in my butt for which I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML
Today, I'm so strapped for cash that I smuggled toilet paper out of my mother's house. FML
Today, I realized I can tell which one of my 6 roommates has taken a dump, just based on the smell emanating from the toilet. FML
Today, I was in the toilet. Some idiots thought it was funny to throw a water balloon into the cubicle. The balloon didn't pop, but fell in the toilet, sending my own urine onto my shorts. I had 4 hours left of school. FML
Today, I opened up an English textbook to find someone else's dirty fingernails between the pages. FML
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Top comments
zingline89 18
Guess your boyfriend's not as Charmin as you thought
KeyboardWarrior 10
I know right... Especially the 48th one...
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Comments (106)
unexcusedabsence 4
most disgusting FN thing i've ever heard
cheesendouche 1
thrush hahhha not toilet paper its a yeast infection. use a cream from pharmacy or natural unsweetened yogurt.
gardenwhipped3 14
I am sure the guys could use a pointer (myself included) as to what a "good brand" is! Personally I never thought about it before. I think most of us are shakers and never gave dabbing a first or second thought.
Dilwann 27
It's probably just because I'm a girl, but doesn't shaking include it still being a bit wet?
writergirl23 19
Really? Or an imbalance of fungus and bacteria in your body causing a condition known as thrush?
dianadoll 23
at least it's not an STD....
dhbbabygirl 6
It happens to me all the time! My skin is really sensitive tho. I can't even wear baby lotion or I break out in red itchy rashes.
Filthy_Animal 25
That is just some cheap excuse....
Gubbon 17
i don't think that's actually the reason. Cheap toilet paper doesn't do that.
009bouris 5
how did you possibly link it to the toilet paper? wouldn’t you just assume that he doesn’t clean himself properly