Today, I was released from hospital after being in a car accident. I used the phone book to call people I know to get a ride home, as my wallet and cellphone were still in the wrecked car. I had called my mom to come get me, but her response was "I don't feel like it." I live with her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a car accident. When I came home, I told my mom. She just got angry with me, blamed me for it, and didn't even ask if I was OK. FML
Today, I was hit by a car while riding my bike, so I called my dad for help. He blamed me for the accident, said he wasn't sure what I wanted him to do, and suggested I call my mom instead. She isn't picking up. FML
Today, my roommate called me, but she's a cunt so I ignored her. A few hours later, I found out her mom and dad were in a serious car accident and she needed a ride to go see them at the hospital. FML
Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML
Today, since I'm still recovering from my surgery and can't drive, my daughter drove me to the doctor. When I was done and walked outside, she was nowhere to be seen. Then I got a text, saying, "Sorry, I forgot I have to be somewhere." The closest bus stop to our house is miles away. FML
Today, I finally got to come home after hours spent in a locked down ER after a car accident. My injuries were non life-threatening, but pretty damn painful. I asked my sister to pick up my pain meds from the pharmacy for me. She got drunk and "lost them", AKA gave them to her dirtbag boyfriend. FML
Today, I texted my mom if she could pick me up from the hospital. She replied, "No fatty, walk home." I have a broken foot. FML
Today, I got hit by a car. My friends left me to get to the hospital myself. The cab was double fare. FML
Today, my parents and I went to the movies for my mom's birthday. After the movie, my mom and dad got into a fight, and left me at the movies. My cell phone was dead, and my house was about 12 miles away. They finally came and picked me up, hours later. FML
Today, it was my mother’s birthday. I was on my way to pick up her cake but I got into a car accident and ended up in the emergency room. When I call her to explain what happened, she called me an useless fuck for ruining her birthday by not bringing the cake. She’s yet to ask if I'm okay. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
MaskingTape 2
Jesus still loves you. Not the religious one, but the one outside Home Depot.
justalilrandom2 4
Personally I count on my fingers.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (110)
zakkyzebra 11
I find the humor in this FML funny.
orphinz 3
I find that you are easily amused, OP your mum is a bitch she probably didn't even realize you were in a crash.
bamwizzle 7
I never fail to be amazed at people who have the special talent of always managing to pick out humour in situations that never intended it.
bamwizzle 7
I am never fail to be amazed at those who have the ability to pick out humor in situations that never intended it.
bluegoldfish 7
come on, you thought this was funny too...didn't you?
kingjames2306 0
#1 you are a stupid punk i hope karma pays you a visit someday
staceysgenesis16 0
really? cmon. thats dumb.
Nitial 6
Really? 1 was joking...
zakkyzebra 11
Yay. I was first and people are trying to break my balls. Okay. 35, It is on FML for a reason. It's supposed to be humorous. 51, How the **** am I stupid or a punk? You're sounding like an ignorant hoodlum right about now. That comment wasn't bad nor good in any way. Karma will have to pay me back some neutral shit. 46 & 67, sorry for not addressing you both individually, but I just wanted to say to you that I'm glad you're here in the FML community to balance out the ignorance. Thank you. tl;dr 35, read what FML is about. Humor. 51, **** wit. 46, Thank you. 67, Thank you.
staceysgenesis16 0
i was joking too. calm yourselves.
zakkyzebra 11
No one even responded to you. Stop trying.
Crunch_Captain 1
# 1 is a douche ._. OP don't do nothing nice for your mom >:O
Crunch_Captain 1
# 1 is a douche ._. OP don't do nothing nice for your mom >:O
Crunch_Captain 1
# 1 is a douche ._. OP don't do nothing nice for your mom >:O
bluegoldfish 7
time to move out.
PrincessesCrown 17
OP could be 16 dumb ass!
SteelCladAngel 0
parental emancipation dumbass
rileynautumn 0
if OP was 16 then mom would have had to be at the hospital to fill out paperwork. the fact that she wasn't already there/no parent was there to sign release forms says OP is over 18. therefore an adult therefore able to move out. OP I feel bad for you.
SteelCladAngel 0
ops mom could have brought him/her and left op there for a day or so then just didn't feel like coming back
EvilPotato 15
2 or kick that birch outta there.
EvilPotato 15
I lol'd at my own mistake, I meant bitch not birch.
imacreeper 3
I hate when spell check corrects bitch with "birch" what the **** is a birch?
J0gby 0
wait, op needed a phone book to call his mom?
lolzforfun228 3
A birch is a kind of tree.
EvilPotato 15
83, 88 it was pretty funny though.
whyXD 13
If you can't count on your mom then who can you count on?
iAmScrubs 19
Your dog.
whiteboy7thst 2
Yeah fluffy has always been there for me.
justalilrandom2 4
Personally I count on my fingers.
whiskuit 0
BAHAHAHAHAHAHA
starile 20
She doesn't even know her mom's phone number and had to use a phone book; they're probably not very close
Sparx1_1 16
Most people with cell phones just enter the number once then use speed dial or look the person up by name. Not a surprise that she had to look up her moms number.
killsick 3
what does OP even mean.?
iAmScrubs 19
Original Poster:)
jbsington 8
Orange Panda
my2centsworth 15
If it was a home phone, she should know the number as it is also her home number. if it was her mom's cell phone, the number wouldn't be in the phone book.
MaskingTape 2
Jesus still loves you. Not the religious one, but the one outside Home Depot.
zakkyzebra 11
Oh. And don't forget baby Jesus. He still loves you.
DesB 7
Masking tape, hope you don't mind my asking but what's you MOS?
eraintime 0
I hope your not making fun of God. God help you
justalilrandom2 4
45, he says MP in his description, if that's not specific enough send him a private message rather than out here in the comments. kthxbai.
whiteboy7thst 2
Well maybe she figures that you will walk home as your rehabilitation.
Imabigbeast 5
get A new mom
HannahLouise96 13
Like it's that simple... -_-
EvilPotato 15
moms are now 50% off at wal-mart.
EvilPotato 15
ooooh ya double post, get down people.
Imabigbeast 5
get A new mom
mariazzz 5
that's nasty.... When she wants something from you in the future, tell her the same... Karma!!
geeksaresexy 18
That's not karma..
DomoLaDii 8
SO TRUE!!!
JustinThunder 8
Just tap your heels together three times..
shamille 5
OP can't move her legs O.o
SteelCladAngel 0
not every car accident involves broken legs or paralysis I rolled my car three times and walked away with just a scratch on my elbow and some muscle stiffness.
bluegoldfish 7
34 is chuck norris.
Richard16 0
when your home and she is about to go out take her house keys and have her sleep in the car for the night and say the same thing to her when she ask why you did not open the door
Twiztidbunny 0
haha yea do it lol
Richard16 0
wouldnt that be pretty funny? lol
staceysgenesis16 0
ooo.. i was going to say slap the bitch and throw her out. and tell her you dont feel like letting her back in. but your approach works too. lol
Richard16 0
i think your way of doing it is better aha
staceysgenesis16 0
ahh, well thanks i tried. lol.
Richard16 0
its all good ;)