Today, a middle-aged woman came into the shoe shop where I work, and asked me to help her put on a pair of boots that were obviously too small. Simultaneously as I knelt down by her feet, she booted me in the face while we tried to get them on. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was serving an incredibly rude woman at work. The ladder I had used to get her two pairs of shoes came crashing down, and hit my face and neck. She only bought one pair, and ten minutes later returned them after, complaining they were too expensive. FML
Today, at work, an obese woman insisted she took a size 5 shoe, despite me measuring her at a size 11. Then when the 5 I politely fetched for her didn’t come close to fitting, she told the manager I was fatshaming her. Her feet were ham joints below cankles as thick as my thigh. She stank too. FML
Today, I bought some shoes, but pissed off the lady working at the store by returning them 5 minutes later. She yelled at me and ripped my receipt in half, everyone in the store watched as she threw a handful of pennies at my face. FML
Today, I was trying on some shoes when I felt the heels break underneath me. Not only did they cost two paychecks worth, but as I was leaving I heard the sales girl say that "we really should have a weight limit for who can try on our products." FML
Today, while at the mall, a kid no older than 5 pushed a stroller into my heel, which caught the back of my shoe and caused me to face-plant the floor in the middle of a very crowded department store. I didn't even get an apology. FML
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
Today, I was helping an old man find a pair of shoes. I told him about a particularly comfortable pair but had to inform him that they only came in black or white. Hearing this, the old man grabbed me around the neck and began to beat me in the head with our display shoe. He wanted brown. FML
Today, I was at the store with my wife. As we were walking out, I helped an elderly woman get through the door. As I was opening the door, my foot got stuck on the door and my face was catapulted into the woman's breasts. It wasn't until we got into the car that my wife burst into hysterics. FML
Today, I got punched in the back by elderly woman because she thought I was mocking the way she walked as I passed her. I was walking funny because I have a brace-boot on my foot due to the fact that it got run over. FML
Today, I was working at a shoe store and was helping a dude try on shoes. He looked like trouble and I wanted to finish with him. When he finally picked his shoes, he abruptly stood up and ran out of the store with the shoes on. The cost of them was deducted from my salary. $240. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Shoes. Shoes. Shoes. Ohmygod. Shoes.
lover_of_life 8
The mental picture of this made me laugh. I'm sure it was an accident.
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Comments (76)
edelmaniac11 0
lolol pwnd in the face
Senescence 0
Just because you can spell "simultaneously," doesn't mean you should use it... especially if you're unsure how.
Sparx1_1 16
If you could tell at a glance that the shoes where too small then your first action should have been to tell her that the shoes were too small and then offer to get her a pair in the right size. I mean if it was that bad why would you even try? YDI for trying to help someone do something stupid.
dt520 4
YDI for helping someone whos obviously a moron.
ironballs16 0
Anyone else immediately think "Married... With Children" when reading this?
magpieram 2
The first part of this post got me into an Al Bundy voice over...
wtfcammelcheese 0
maybe she was trying to knock u out to take them ???
princesstavi 17
Are you by any chance named Al Bundi?
MeMyselfAndSatan 10
I was in a production of Cinderella and I was the person that had to hold all the girls feet onstage and try the slipper on them. My hands would become greasy, and it was nasty
PuppiesKisses 19
Al Bundy is that you?