nicky
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United Kingdom
Blind spot
Today, I managed to stab myself with a knife while trying to open something without a can opener. After getting stitches and returning back home, I went to make a cup of coffee. I found the can opener in the cutlery drawer. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
If only you could have foreseen this unfortunate circumstance, this whole tragedy could have been avoided! Oh wait, I'm sorry. Forethought requires a brain. My apologies.
DocBastard 40
That hurt my brain to read. For that, I sentence you to one week in the hole with kweenbitch.
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Comments (104)
peppy67 0
I hope you were being sarcastic.
udeserveitxXx 0
why, after you went to the hospital for a stab eound, did you come home and go straight to the cutlery?
Schiffy 18
What a novel place for a can opener! Who would have guessed that THAT was where you left it!? *note, that was all sarcasm
Deitsu 1
I could imagine the look on your face when you found that can opener. An eye twitch perhaps? Lmfao, look harder next time. SBYDI
heyred 11
Obviously OP is from the shallow end of the gene pool.
Turbo_Kramit 0
agreed
Asian_Princess 0
Ha! Try opening a can of tuna with a spoon. Since my lunch ladies wouldn't let me borrow a stupid can opener.
boyv 0
was it beer
dansco 25
#58 made me lmao ;) Seriously what kind of moron tries this? At least chop the bloody can in half lol
sgtrobswifey 0
I forgot to send my husband a can opener awhile back. He was actually able to use his gerber to open a can of beanie weenies. Anyway, Confucius says, "Man with one chopstick go hungry". So, make sure you have two.