nicky
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United Kingdom
Blind spot
Today, I managed to stab myself with a knife while trying to open something without a can opener. After getting stitches and returning back home, I went to make a cup of coffee. I found the can opener in the cutlery drawer. FML
Top comments
DocBastard 40
If only you could have foreseen this unfortunate circumstance, this whole tragedy could have been avoided! Oh wait, I'm sorry. Forethought requires a brain. My apologies.
DocBastard 40
That hurt my brain to read. For that, I sentence you to one week in the hole with kweenbitch.
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Comments (104)
KingDingALing 9
Now the OP is going to cut herself again. Except this time, it's not going to be on purpose.
KingDingALing 9
Now the OP is going to cut herself again. Except this time, it's not going to be on purpose.
Javie30 0
shit!!!!!! I just opened a can of tuna with a knife as well.......except I didn't cut myself and the blasted can opener is nowhere to be found...
MyNameIsBruce 0
Well I guess you're not the sharpist knife in the drawer...
Bravo11 14
Perhaps if you wouldve spelled sharpest* the right way, I'd be posting "Win" right now. Shame, Eh?
MyNameIsBruce 0
Yes, yes it is. Didn't see that. I can feel the missed opportunity radiating from this post :(
emilyta_fml 0
Love bruce Campbell.... He lives in my state. I own a good portion of his movies.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Wut's cutlery? Big werd meck mi brane go owwwie! Op git lektrik 1 nd u b aight! :D if u looze dat ur to stoopit too liv!
DocBastard 40
That hurt my brain to read. For that, I sentence you to one week in the hole with kweenbitch.
Grimmerie 31
ANYTHING BUT THAT. PLEASE.
talldude4u 3
kweenbitch will argue poor Sean's cat to death by toaster :O
SceneRaver 0
are you retarded??? **** dude!
xoCOURTNIEox 0
one word.....dumbass :)
Death_From_Above 0
AGREED!!
sterlingarcher 1
haha agreed!
HeJustKnowsBest 3
How big of a knife were you using? A simple stab shouldn't require stiches, however a slice would.
mrahhhhh 21
OP: Did you know that in the American wild west days, pioneers would shoot cans with a revolver because they didn't have can openers as they had yet to be invented? You should try that. You're definitely stupid enough.
xDancer101x 0
I hate to be mean but I hav a feeling you r too...
ScreamoxD 0
Dont you know can openers were invented before cans?
ohhaixp 6
well...............hopefully she was in the kitchen.
flyboy978 0
ahahahah, man that is a pretty SHITTY day!!!!!!!!!!