Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my mother-in-law and sister-in-law over the baby monitor. They were talking about how much better off my daughter would be if I were to die. FML
Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML
Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML
Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML
Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
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Top comments
laestrellita 0
Leave them NOTHING!
mattypants 0
that is so messed up...and someone YDI this... I feel for ya
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Comments (356)
theidiot45 0
i recently joined the United States Marine Corps too and my family gets $200,000 if i die when im in the service the key is don't tell them about the money. im sure if my family found out they would put a hit on me.
peyton4pres 0
Semper Fi. And good luck
coinoperatedgirl 0
... wow. just wow.
PFCAngelo 0
LCPL of Marines? -_- You're not an NCO devil, you're a Marine, not a Blank of Marines. The SGLI is 400k, and you can give it to whoever you want. Poolee's remain motivated, but no oorahs or semper fi's. Much as this shit annoys me sometimes, I earned the title and you haven't yet, don't make it mean less for those who already got ours. PFC Angelo MATSG-21 AMS-2 and of course for nostalgia, MCRD Parris Island 2nd RTBN Golf Company, PLT 2086
marlinbrando127 0
Dont worry you get to decide who gets your money. Just hope your going to Cali for boot cause NC sucks something awful..
brazillianbabe 0
Hubby is Army. Actually the life insurance is 400 thous. more if they die in combat. His mother was planning on getting a boob job with his life insurance money before we got married, so in his will it specifically said if he died it would all go to the Humane Society. She hates animals :) Sorry you have such a ****** up family. Dont worry though, your new fellow soldiers will be more of a family to you and treat you a hell lot better than your real family. Thanks for joining up :)
brunions 0
Give it to Bill Gates.
SocialBat 0
Wow that's really shitty.
FtheC 0
hey comment 170. shut the hell up because you have no idea what you are talking about. Let's see how long your "motivation" lasts. Besides, you're goddamn East Coast, we Hollywood know how much easier you all have it. Wanna know why? Two reasons, we have real hikes. Real hills and mountains. Second reason, you all train next to women. Need I say more? Oh, and...yeah your life is f*cked there buddy. Literally. Hopefully, you'll be able to count how many Marines you take in. Anyway, good luck! goddamn boots! raaah, kill!
S3k5hUn8 0
My best friend is a Marine Sniper who could shoot your pecker off from a mile away dont bring that garbage to a place like this bias douche bag ^_^ and we are west coast soldiers proud and strong. Moron.
couragewolf9001 0
Devil Pups, stop arguing. I have boot-bands with more time in service than both of you combined. By the way, the new SGLI option now offers up to 500k. If you're married, by default, the spouse is the beneficiary.
Tikal_fml 0
Wow, that's a really messed up thing to do.