Today, I overheard my mother and sister talking so I stopped to eavesdrop. I recently enlisted in the Marines, and they were talking about what they would do with the money if I died. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I overheard my mother-in-law and sister-in-law over the baby monitor. They were talking about how much better off my daughter would be if I were to die. FML
Today, I asked my parents to sign for me to enlist in the military. They asked me how much money the government gives them if I die. FML
Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML
Today, my mom came over to me and whispered something in my ear. I didn't hear it and assumed it was a joke, so I started laughing. Turns out my aunt died. FML
Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML
Today, I listened to a voicemail from my mom about how she misses me and can't wait to see me when I get back from vacation. Thinking she hung up, my mother then had a conversation with my aunt about how quiet the house is without me and how she'd be blessed if I didn't come home. FML
Today, I called my mother to tell her that I got engaged. In the 15 minute conversation that followed, 13 were spent listening to how this is going to affect her. FML
Today, I overheard my girlfriend telling her friend, "Actually, it's a good thing she died, she was quite a bitch." She was talking about my mother. FML
Today, I overheard my boyfriend talking to his mom about me. It sounded like they were planning something for me, like a marriage. They were planning how to break up with me. FML
Today, at the airport, my mom began talking about how useless the war in Iraq was, and how dumb the soldiers that serve there were for enlisting during the war. The soldier at the vending machine near us caught my eye. I mouthed, "Sorry" and he mouthed, slowly, "You fuckin' better be." FML
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Top comments
laestrellita 0
Leave them NOTHING!
mattypants 0
that is so messed up...and someone YDI this... I feel for ya
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Comments (356)
gerrycola 0
YDI buddy. I'm sorry but when you decide to join the military you know what you're getting into. You're not fighting for our country because no one is invading us! You're fighting for the agendas of our leaders who don't always have our best interest at heart.
ashebaseball24 0
have fun at basic. 3RD BTN INDIA COMPANY
alexthebrit 0
#145........you want to kill johnny quest's boy companion?!?!?!?!?!!?! :o
ZiggyMorrison 0
I think you should not only cut them out of your will but give it to someone that would be a low blow like your dog or some random neighbor just someone that would really hurt
abu3mair 0
wow... you must've been an asshole in the past
DannyPenguin 0
I'm in the army, man.... fyl big time
USMCBOWMAN 0
I'll give that one an OOHRAH..haha but on serious note...don't say semper fi or ooh rah until you earn the title and complete boot..Poolee. ~CPL of Marines
loserlife90 0
oh my god! either it was just a joke conversation (not funny btw) or your famliy sucks.
ferboy2 0
I recently joined the Navy--- My parents had the same conversation too. It sucks!
TeufelBAMF 0
it's 400 grand...not 100 grand like some of these other jabronis seem to think and when you get to boot camp you'll fill out your SGLI form for the 400 thousand...you can turn it down completely or select who you want to receive it. hell, give it to one of your buddies and write "**** YOU MOM!" in your will...that is of course only if you die, let's keep our fingers crossed that that doesn't happen.