Today, I was lifeguarding at a community pool when I noticed a toddler go underwater. I quickly jumped in but suddenly got a cramp, which caused me to stall. When I looked up, I saw an old woman saving him, and got a shoe thrown at my head. I was fired. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was at work lifeguarding and saw a kid drowning on the far end of the pool. I decided running would be the quickest way to get to her, but as I ran across the pool deck I slipped and hit my head. The kid's mother jumped in to save her child and then called an ambulance for me. FML
Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML
Today, I was at my lifeguarding exam. Everything was going well until I went to 'save' someone and slipped and bellyflopped into the pool. I broke my toe, and the person I was supposed to save ended up saving me instead. FML
Today, I was swimming at the water park, when out of nowhere a lifeguard bombed into the pool, grabbed me, and hauled me to the surface, running his hands over my chest in the process. Apparently, the way I swim makes it look like I'm in my drowning death throes. FML
Today, I was at work as a lifeguard. The temperature was absolutely stifling, but I tried to tough it out. A couple of hours into my shift, I passed out, fell off my stand, and crashed into the water. Or so the medics tell me. FML
Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well-performed dive off the diving board, I went up and attempted my best dive. I slipped as I jumped, hitting my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML
Today, while working my job as a swim instructor, my coworker sprayed me with the hose. I instinctively held up what I was holding to block the cold water. I was holding a 4 year-old. FML
Today, while at work I tripped and fell in the pool while moving a waste basket. I nearly drowned and had to be saved. I don't know which is worse the fact that I nearly drowned or the fact that I'm a lifeguard. FML
Today, I went to the pool. When I hit the water the top of my swimsuit came off so I tried to put it on underwater. The lifeguard thought I was drowning and pulled me out in front of everyone. Topless. FML
Today, I was fired because a patron complained that she didn't like the way I kept staring at her kids. I was a lifeguard. FML
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Top comments
schwancy 2
That's unfair. Obviously you were making an attempt to save the child. People suck.
ohSNAPyall 27
Are you kidding me? It's a major safety issue. If OP didn't either: a) prepare for work by stretching to prevent cramps [knowing that the job requires sitting for long periods of time], or b) keep moving through the pain until after rescuing a child, then OP should not be a lifeguard.
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Comments (140)
kira1366 0
wow. In Soviet Russia, old lady throws you at shoe!
farhil 14
Don't try.
Graawr 7
You don't deserve this but you should've been more careful.
12fuckmyshoe 0
32 thats what she said
12fuckmyshoe 0
I smell of dead men's fingers.
FYLDeep 26
This is odd. if a toddler was by the pool, you'd think that it would have a parent closely watching it.
kisseshugsdrugs 5
ok as a lifeguard im gonna go with you deserved it. if you jumped in the pool properly you probably wouldnt have gotten a charlie horse and had been able to keep your eye on the patron.
bacon_lover100 11
OP wasn't going to attempt to perfect his jumping technique while jumping in. The kids life was in danger. That should be the priority.
ToraTora 9
Actually you're supposed to keep your eye on the one in danger. That way you never lose where they are. Jumping in properly saves time and lives.
12fuckmyshoe 0
THE DRAGON MEN OF SCARAMAN
kisseshugsdrugs 5
oh this is full of win EDIT: this was supposed to be a reply to 38..dammit
stitch_book 4
lol, since when did job titles become verbs? that's awesome. i think tomorrow i'll go ... idk ... sales representing? police officering? heart surgeoning, maybe? nah, i'll go life guarding.
ktbird 0
"Guard" is already a verb or noun. Another example would be "Cook"
stitch_book 4
Ahhhh ... I stand corrected! Thank you, good madam, and I humbly take a bow. :)
dilaaaah 2
charlie horse .. ?
ty4nier 16
Leg cramp in your thigh. They're actually quite painful