Today, I took a nap with a kitten I just adopted from my mom's house. To make her feel more comfortable, I took a nap with her on my bed. In my dream, I kept smelling poo and I felt around on the bed to find the kitten. She apparently had diarrhea on my bed and I had stuck my hand in it. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, at 6 am, I was suddenly jerked from the warm embraces of sleep by the smell of poo. I was very groggy and confused when my hand landed in something wet and cold. I turned on the light and was horrified to find that my kitten took a huge dump in my bed. It was everywhere. FML
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML
Today, I let my new cat sleep in bed with me. It was cute until she wiped a tapeworm onto my arm. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
If you JUST adopted the kitten (same day, or so) that's not what you're supposed to do. Poor thing was probably freaked, and needs to be litter box trained.
Frishster 4
Hang on, I'm not quite following this. You're asleep. You smell poo. You feel all around your bed, and DONT expect this to end badly? The kitten was testing you. You failed.
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Comments (129)
wellchit 0
this isn't an FML...
stryker0530 0
Oh yeah I would have eaten it.
4leafedchlover 0
Gosh thats some smelly shit ur in! Haa! I hate cats!
UncleverName_FYL 0
OP next time while your half asleep just kick the cat against the wall, but first check that its not your two year old daughter before doing so.
DangerousBabee 0
Lol #19 xD
heyhihihello 0
At least you didn't roll over on the cat. My sister used to do that every night by accident, but now the cat is too fat to notice. #10 and #86, murmer this incantation for some very good advice: Gofu C'kyo Urself Make sure you read it as one word.
Jellybones 0
You should shit on the cat as payback.
PieMan5000 0
PUSSY OWNAGE!!! : D
ilicktrees4 0
Not an FML kittens are like that u should know or don't adopt one
ironhead_fml 20
Sick poodie