Today, I took a nap with a kitten I just adopted from my mom's house. To make her feel more comfortable, I took a nap with her on my bed. In my dream, I kept smelling poo and I felt around on the bed to find the kitten. She apparently had diarrhea on my bed and I had stuck my hand in it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, at 6 am, I was suddenly jerked from the warm embraces of sleep by the smell of poo. I was very groggy and confused when my hand landed in something wet and cold. I turned on the light and was horrified to find that my kitten took a huge dump in my bed. It was everywhere. FML
Today, I finally got myself settled into bed around 2 in the morning after a very long day. My cat started to snuggle with me when I smelled something disgusting. Turns out my cat sharted in my bed. FML
Today, my cat threw up on the floor while I was taking a nap. I woke up, still groggy from the nap, and walked over to the bathroom. Not only did I slip on the vomit, spreading it all over the floor and myself, I think I somehow broke a toe in the process. FML
Today, I let my new cat sleep in bed with me. It was cute until she wiped a tapeworm onto my arm. FML
Today, I turned over in my sleep and fell out of bed, face-first into a puddle of cold cat vomit that my cat had left for me. FML
Today, I let my 4-month old puppy sleep with me. She’s been constipated for a while. I woke up to a foul odor in the middle of the night. Turns out she took a massive dump on the bed right by my head. I had to completely strip my bed to go back to sleep. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, my cat started scratching at my legs. I got out of bed and he raced me to the stairs, tripping me. I fell all the way down and landed in cat poop. FML
Today, I was playing with my cat and holding her upside down. She started frantically meowing, but I still continued on playing with her. Seconds later, she got explosive diarrhea everywhere, including my hair, face, shirt, and mouth. FML
Today, I got a kitten. She decided to sleep on my bed, waking me up periodically during the night by biting my face to make sure I was still alive. FML
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Top comments
redbluegreen 41
If you JUST adopted the kitten (same day, or so) that's not what you're supposed to do. Poor thing was probably freaked, and needs to be litter box trained.
Frishster 4
Hang on, I'm not quite following this. You're asleep. You smell poo. You feel all around your bed, and DONT expect this to end badly? The kitten was testing you. You failed.
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Comments (129)
vaya_fml 0
Thats why animals sleep on the floor.
sun_babe 0
You have a lot of grammer mistake and it didnt make a whole lot of sense.
sk8ratfml 0
That's called cold feet
chimmy 0
What's up with all the poop/puke FMLs? They've become so commonplace that they AREN'T funny, just gross.
lollypops_fml 0
Lol funny but gross=)
hanala429 0
At least it wasn't your face..
shakenbake93 0
Another reason why cats suck.
bigsirus 0
That sucks. Guess no more pussy in bed lol
unibrowicorn 0
lol #39. fyi, i think diarrhea in kittens is actually kind of serious...I forget the details, because i was waaay younger when this happened, but my family found two stray newborn kittens that died when they were a few weeks old. The vet said it had something to do with the diarrhea they had...i dunno O_o
me_right_one 0
Serves you right. Are you serious? Not only did you let an animal into your house, but you picked it up and put it on your bed, and then YOU went asleep beside IT? You need the biggest kick in the ass ever.
NickACD 27
Douchebag Kys