Today, I picked up my 17 year-old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said, "So, you're the daddy?" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a hoe and me a perv. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving videos and pictures of a sexual nature. I just had to wade through a ton of middle-aged dick pics as evidence for the police. FML
Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML
Today, while in line for my prescription, my daughter was interrogating the man behind us. I'm a single mother. She asked the man, "Do you think my mom is pretty? Want to go on a date with her?" When he told her he was married, she replied, "So? You can get a divorce." FML
Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
Today, while picking up my 14-year-old sister, a friend of hers asked if I was her mother. I'm only 17. FML
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
Today, my daughter gave me the “but daddy I love him” speech when she turned up to a family event with her boyfriend, who was at least 20 years older than her, was visibly intoxicated, stank of body odour and cigarettes, then tried to flirt with my wife. FML
Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML
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Top comments
randomdude1234 0
A lot of cops are idiots. Not saying that there aren't good ones but a lot of them are idiots.
Emma_91 0
WTF? Or maybe the cop just has a dirty mind XD
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Comments (175)
heavenandhell 0
The cop was douing his job at least hes looking out for her in a way.... but atill a dick move way outa line bettter ways to deal with it...
yeahlauren 0
The prostitutes around here wear tweety bird t shirts, sweat pants and missing teeth.
heavenandhell 0
yummy
WolfgangDS 0
This is why I'm going to make sure that if I ever have a daughter, she'll NEVER go out dressed like she's looking for a toy to put between her legs. And if I ever catch her out while dressed like a hooker, she's grounded.
genius_man16 1
Hear Hear! We should go out for a beer sometime ;)
mixedchick 0
amen!
Bella_Lune 0
#80 and #87 were right. Same basic premise as this Ameriquest commercial. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=niLHR_Pbm74
Blimy 0
явкфыемнщ вщкщпф инпщыемшвфтшнф лшкщзщз афьшдукв
violinist666 0
He said "looks like a hoe." You people who are getting your panties in a wad about "she must've looked like a ho" have no sense whatsoever, and don't realize that solicitation could have been prearranged, and therefore, she could have been in something less "hoish." Stop being judgmental assholes. If someone pulled you over for this, you would be mad too.
HELLOASHLEYLYNN 0
i think we're all over analyzing this. it's an FML. read it and move on.
teheheois 0
what a great dad you are ! but anyway the cop should STFU and look his business
jiggles101 0
Wow that does suck
rachelbrianna25 0
woah, woah, woah!
guitardedman 0
anyone remember the mastercard (i think) commercial that was this EXACT STORY? little (teenage) girl leans in the window getting money for the movie from her father and a cop assumes he is paying for sexual favors....awfully familiar. if this is true, don't let your child dress like a goddamn prostitute man!