Today, I picked up my 17 year-old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said, "So, you're the daddy?" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a hoe and me a perv. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my 17-year-old daughter has been sending and receiving videos and pictures of a sexual nature. I just had to wade through a ton of middle-aged dick pics as evidence for the police. FML
Today, my daughter and I were driving home when our truck broke down. A police officer stopped and offered to let me and my two year old sit in his car for the A/C. When we got in, I sat her on my lap, and she pulled down my tank top and screamed "Boobies!" right in front of the officer. FML
Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML
Today, and in the past week since became a full-time dad to my 16 year-old son, he's got caught sneaking out at night, lost his virginity, and I had to call the cops because he was caught trying to go two states over to be with said girl. I think he's trying to make me look bad. FML
Today, while in line for my prescription, my daughter was interrogating the man behind us. I'm a single mother. She asked the man, "Do you think my mom is pretty? Want to go on a date with her?" When he told her he was married, she replied, "So? You can get a divorce." FML
Today, while shopping, I saw a little girl and her mom. The girl was pouting so I tried to cheer her up by asking her if she was a princess, because she was so pretty. She smiled but her mom looked at me with disgust and told me to, "Get lost, pedo." I'm a 17-year-old girl. FML
Today, while picking up my 14-year-old sister, a friend of hers asked if I was her mother. I'm only 17. FML
Today, my 17-year-old employee accidentally called me "Dad". We all got a good laugh from it and went on with our days. Later, after getting her some coins for her cash drawer, she playfully said, "Thanks, Daddy." The customer she was serving? My wife. FML
Today, my daughter gave me the “but daddy I love him” speech when she turned up to a family event with her boyfriend, who was at least 20 years older than her, was visibly intoxicated, stank of body odour and cigarettes, then tried to flirt with my wife. FML
Today, a police officer gave me a ticket for smoking. He told me that my parents would have to be contacted to come pick me up. My drunk dad came to the rescue, and almost hit the police car. Way to go dad. FML
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Top comments
randomdude1234 0
A lot of cops are idiots. Not saying that there aren't good ones but a lot of them are idiots.
Emma_91 0
WTF? Or maybe the cop just has a dirty mind XD
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Comments (175)
qwerty123456789 0
Tell him that you will be suing him for sexually harassing his daughter. You should have taken down the license plate on his squad car so you could report it to the local police station so they can give you information on who it was. Or looked at his badge to see who he was. You could get him in big trouble if you spin it properly.
koji_fml 0
you need spellcheck
xzacharyx 0
what the ****? cant you report that? thats harassment or some shit.
Mr_FYLife 0
Pigs are dumb. Simple as that. Mind you, not all of them. Just some....
Masta_Blasta 0
request picture of both of you to judge if your life is truly ******.
em0_AzNcHiKK_12 0
Chocolate2991 0
its after a late nigh movie DOWN TOWN. not in downtown you moron
I_iz_epic 0
I agree with #159.
glitterbabe224 0
wow, I would deffinatly like file a complaint on that or something.
bigdaddyeric 37
You said it, not us lol