Today, I went to the chiropractor for a check up. She was going through some of the ways to help my posture and mentioned something that I've never heard before. My fat ass thought it was a type of food. Turns out it was a sports routine. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I decided to improve my posture by sitting through all of my classes with my shoulders and back completely straight. Pretty soon I couldn't move my shoulders at all. I had to go to the chiropractor. It turns out that in trying to improve my posture, I misaligned my spine instead. FML
Today, I was at the doctor's for a regular check-up. When my appointment was over and I was about to walk out, she yelled across the room in front of everyone, "Oh and if you could lose some weight, that'd be great." FML
Today, I had a talk with my orthopedist about getting back to fitness training. However, according to her, all my favorite exercises, although taught to me by professionals, are "things one should never do" and "very very bad". FML
Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up. After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot for thirty seconds, and then lay on my stomach and do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really part of the check-up. You're large on the hips. Lay off the Cheetos." FML
Today, at physical therapy, I felt that all-too-familiar gurgle in my gut, but I thought it would a light, silent fart. I squatted for an exercise and shit my pants in front of the cute, single, male physical therapist. He definitely noticed. I still had 30 minutes left in the session. FML
Today, I had a great workout and was feeling really good about my body. Until I sat on my desk, and broke it. FML
Today, I tried a new workout at my local gym. I thought I'd attempt some yoga poses I'd seen online. Mid-pose, I lost my balance and knocked over a row of weights, causing a loud crash and drawing everyone's attention. FML
Today, I decided to get in shape for swimsuit season, so I went to the gym. I tried to lift a barbell up and over my head, which was fine, until I dropped it. Exercise earned me a concussion and a neck brace. FML
Today, I was at the gym and saw an old friend. I have put on a lot of muscle in the past few months, and she said to me "Wow, you've really gotten big." Just by habit I said "You too." Turns out she's gained 45 lbs since I'd last seen her. Oops. FML
Today, I applied to a new gym. Now I have a hernia. FML
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Top comments
felixvdl 9
"You gotta do at least 5 lunches a day" - Well.... If you say so.....
AirMelon 12
But hey, the more you know
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Comments (38)
menja 29
Was she talking about "burpees" by any chance?
flammaefata 20
Chiropractic is woo. Maybe save your money for treatments that are supported by evidence?
Pepsiisbae 15
What did the chiropractor do wrong? She said a sports method to help op and he didnt know what it was
TabooSushi 24
Ummm my chiropractor did wonders for my jacked up spine I got after a horseback riding accident, and one of my friends had scoliosis that was corrected in large part by chiropractic care. So... Evidence. Right there. It works for plenty of people.
ReineRien 5
Many orthopedics do chiropractic in conjunction with medicine and stuff. Those are the best doctors too, when they know when something is severe enough to use modern medicine and what is mild enough to just need a few adjustments.
undebatable52419 5
evidence...like the fact that I spend 20 hours a day working on my pc and now I don't have back pains? yeah evidence doesn't always have to be "on paper" it's ignorant to think that your spine doesn't have to be "realigned" when majority of the ppl have bad posture 80% of the day.
DESTROSCLY 8
#16, mate, you're thinking homeopathy lmao
mrBearBear 11
I'm curious what the routine is...
Dogempire 5
"Do 10 suicides everyday for cardio" " I don't know how that's possible...but I'll do it or die trying."
worldclassrager 41
Could have been worse...right?
5t3ff1k4h 47
I'd love to learn how food can correct posture. Seriously, spending my days hunched over a hydraulic chair or at a desk can be helped with food? Bring it on.
KittyLover22 19
Well now I want to know what the routine is...
authorlumi 6
So... what was the routine?