Today, I decided to snack on some M&M's. I saw my dog sniffing something and realized one of my M&M's had fallen on the floor. To prevent my dog from eating the chocolate, I hurriedly snatched the M&M off the ground and ate it. When I bit down, I realized it wasn't an M&M. It was a dead beetle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating chocolate chip cookies around the house and saw a chocolate chip on the floor. Not wanting my dog to eat it, given that chocolate is poisonous for dogs, I swiped it up with my finger and put it to my mouth. It was then that I realized it was a stub of my dog's poop. FML
Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML
Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML
Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML
Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Today, I was feeling down and decided to eat one of my roommate's chocolate Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up. I took a big bite and thought it tasted "off". It was full of live maggots. FML
Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I woke up late and grabbed what I thought was a granola bar on my way out. It wasn’t until I was halfway through eating it that I realized it was a dog treat. I had the godawful taste in my mouth all throughout the day, despite several cans of Pepsi and Mountain Dew. FML
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Top comments
MKC_fml 0
snatching it off the floor so your dog doesn't eat it....good. Popping it in your mouth before looking at it....not so good.
betsymonty 0
And the worst part? A dog wouldn't get sick from a single M&M.
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Comments (194)
Kickinchicken213 3
Well, at least you got your protein for the day!
spamme 0
fake²
shananigans 0
What the hell is up with all these FMLs about people eating crap off the floor WITHOUT looking at it first??
rednaxela_fml 0
yumm
witchbaby4 0
YDI for eating off the floor in the first place.
alwaysalady 0
I see 3 fails here- 1 you ATE something your dog had been sniffing and probably licking or at least getting pooch snot all over. 2 you ate off the floor. Where were you raised? IN a barn? Once something hits the floor, no matter how delicious it is, it's dead to me. 3 due to lack of attention, you ate a bug. A BUG. Moron.
spamme 0
Today, half asleep, I dropped my pill before I could take it. I quickly picked it up and washed it down. Five hours later, I just found my pill on the ground. What did I swallow? FML #948871 (154) - 04/13/2009 at 12:12pm by anonymiss - misc
tilt_fml 0
i can't belive all the grief being heaped on you!! lighten up people...it's a knee jerk reaction!!! YOU NEVER WASTE CHOCOLATE especially when you can apply the 3 second rule. Hey my floors are clean!! :)
stinebean 0
#57 said everything I was thinking when I read this. Plus, it takes a lot of cocao to kill a dog and since m&m's are mostly sugar you wouldn't need to worry about them.
tempaccount 0
Do the people at FML not look at things before they eat them? Damn. And it was on the floor anyway! *slap*