Today, I decided to snack on some M&M's. I saw my dog sniffing something and realized one of my M&M's had fallen on the floor. To prevent my dog from eating the chocolate, I hurriedly snatched the M&M off the ground and ate it. When I bit down, I realized it wasn't an M&M. It was a dead beetle. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was eating chocolate chip cookies around the house and saw a chocolate chip on the floor. Not wanting my dog to eat it, given that chocolate is poisonous for dogs, I swiped it up with my finger and put it to my mouth. It was then that I realized it was a stub of my dog's poop. FML
Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML
Today, I bit into a Reese's Cup that had been sitting on my desk for a while. As I did, half of a yellow meal worm fell out and landed in front of me, the other half was in my mouth. It was wiggling. FML
Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML
Today, instead of reaching for some unhealthy food, I tried to eat some dates instead. It was all fine until I bit one in half and saw a rather large, squirming maggot inside. FML
Today, I was walking my dogs when I noticed one of them had found something, and was eating it. After my command to "drop it" went unheeded, I took it upon myself to scoop it out of her mouth with my finger. After getting it all over my hand, I realized it was a piece of another dog's poop. FML
Today, I was feeling down and decided to eat one of my roommate's chocolate Pop-Tarts to cheer myself up. I took a big bite and thought it tasted "off". It was full of live maggots. FML
Today, I noticed my dog chewing on something while on the couch. It looked like a wash rag of some sort, so I grabbed it from my dog. It wasn't until after I picked it up that I noticed it wasn't a wash rag. It was a small, dead bird. FML
Today, on the kitchen counter, there was a plate that had snacks on it. I decided to take a bite. I spat it out. Later on, my mother told me it was dog food. FML
Today, I woke up late and grabbed what I thought was a granola bar on my way out. It wasn’t until I was halfway through eating it that I realized it was a dog treat. I had the godawful taste in my mouth all throughout the day, despite several cans of Pepsi and Mountain Dew. FML
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Top comments
MKC_fml 0
snatching it off the floor so your dog doesn't eat it....good. Popping it in your mouth before looking at it....not so good.
betsymonty 0
And the worst part? A dog wouldn't get sick from a single M&M.
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Comments (194)
vee_baby 0
This FML just makes you sound like a fatass..
ShimmyPizza 0
YDI for eating off the floor. That's just nasty.
ineedadrink 0
YDI, 5 second rule.
audiogasmic 0
you couldn't tell the difference between a smooth, one-shaped candy and a rougher textured, legged animal? i'm glad you tried to stop your dog from eating what you thought was an M&M, but you should've thrown the thing away not eaten it.
moleypoley 0
i dont see why you had to EAT it though..
Piemonkey 0
Dogs DO NOT get sick off of chocolate. My dog loves it. Just don't give them too much and they're fine. If your dog gets sick off of one M&M, you should be more worried about all that other "dog food" crap you're feeding it.
stellarxx 0
Oh baby that sounds great!
tnf0920 9
First off a small M&M is not going to kill your dog, not even harm it, so you were a moron for snatching it off the ground before he could eat it. Secondly, you were even more of a moron to eat it...one because it had been on the floor and two you didn't even look at it.
effmalife 0
i did something like this wen i was REALLY little i saw soemthin on the ground that looked like part of a snack i had eaten earlier and i popped it into my mouth and then i realized it was part of a bug but i was like 5
polyurethane 0
Ew, why would you eat it? I would pick it up and throw it out. You don't eat something that hit the floor