Today, my son is only two but I'm already plagued by the idea of him one day having a wife or girlfriend. I'm being kept awake at night by the betrayal of something that hasn't even happened. FML
Collection
Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, after having multiple dreams where I have a daughter with my boyfriend, I'm now emotionally attached to a child who isn't real, and I get depressed when I can't be with her in real life. FML
Today, my wife is grumpy because our son has his first girlfriend and she feels like she’s been replaced. Our son is 32 and surely it’s about damn time. FML
Today, I realized my friends were right about my obsession for my only son when I found myself genuinely jealous when I heard he recently got a new girlfriend. FML
Today, I spent a good few minutes watching my wife thrash our son with a pillow because despite all our warnings to him about safe sex, he and his girlfriend are going to be parents in about 6 months, and they’re both 16. FML
Today, I've hated being a parent ever since I was baby-trapped at 17, but I stuck through it and never let my son suspect how I really felt, and we have a great relationship now he’s an adult. Well he just moved out yesterday, and today my wife told me she’s pregnant. Here we fucking go again. FML
Today, my only child introduced his new girlfriend to me. He is 36 and has no children. She is 46 and has a pregnant daughter who she is very close with. I don't know if I'll ever be a grandfather, but in any case, my son is going to be one before me. FML
Today, I was driving to the local market with my son. We approached a vehicle that looked just like my fiancé's. My son peered out his window and said, "Mommy, daddy's getting kidnapped!" It seems he was being 'kidnapped' by his new girlfriend. FML
Today, I saw my son. I didn't know I had a son. FML
Today, I was watching TV with my husband and my 5-year-old son. Everything was going fine until my son asked his father, “Why can’t mom know that you have another sweetheart?” FML
Today, after being a dad to five girls for over 40 years, I finally had a son with my new wife. Too bad I'm 78 years-old and probably won't be around long to enough to enjoy having a boy. FML
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Top comments
Hangryko 32
Get therapy ASAP. He's your son, not your boyfriend.
angus 17
You need help or you’ll lose your son before he’s an adult.
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Comments (11)
haydenhades 21
Ewwww seek help