Today, a policeman and I confronted my psychotic neighbor, who stole my cat because she thinks flea bites cause cancer. She refused to tell us what she'd done with the cat. I just spent $100 last month in vet bills, and my kids are crying for their pet. He's probably in pieces in her freezer. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I witnessed my psycho neighbor put her cat in a cage, cross into my backyard, and set the cage down before returning to her house. She then called the cops and claimed I'd stolen her cat. The cops didn't believe my side of the story for a second. FML
Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML
Today, I found my lost cat. As I was hooking it up to a leash to get it in my car, a man approached and asked what I was doing. His kids alerted him that there was a woman stealing their cat from their front lawn. It was not my cat. FML
Today, I had to put my cat to sleep after she was in an accident. While I was crying hysterically, the vet asked me for $230. FML
Today, I spent $500 buying my lost cat back from a jerk who thought it was his. I get home and my mom tells me that she'd sold it to the same guy for $10 because she thought the cat was ruining my love life. FML
Today, I saved a kitten from the streets, cleaned her up and asked the vet what I should do with her because she was the sweetest thing and my cat has a highly contagious illness. The vet had to put her down. FML
Today, I had to call the cops on my batshit crazy neighbor, who’s repeatedly threatened to steal my dog. I finally got her ass on camera. She swears that my dog is being abused because it prefers to sleep outside instead of being in the house. Imagine that, an animal that likes being outside. FML
Today, the crazy son of a bitch who lives next door to me once again got into a loud, rather one-sided argument with his cat. Twenty minutes later, he knocked on my door, asking if he could stay at my place for a couple of days. The look he gave me when I said no has me fearing for my life. FML
Today, my mom accused my cat of being a "manipulator", and said that we should get rid of him. FML
Today, I had to take my cat to the vet. On the way there, he managed to get out of his cage, climb into the front seat, onto my chest, and howl in my face as I tried to drive down the highway. I ended up with stitches and still got charged for missing my cat's appointment. FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 26
Well I hope that bitch is locked up in a jail-cell now.
deviable 9
Tell her human bites cause cancer. Then bite her.
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Comments (270)
LennyComa 39
Well she can be done for theft, if shes killed it animal cruelty, recoup the vet bills and compensation for you emotional distress...or steal his,car coz it pollues and crush it
sux4u121 10
Did anybody else picture the crazy cat lady from the simpsons?
Jasonf6 0
Sue the bitch and get the cops to search her house.
TipOfTheHat 10
You need to start a cat shelter! At the edge of your lawn right next to hers!
FletcherWolfe 2
That is actually a good and halarious idea
perdix 31
I guess you'd need probable cause to get a warrant to search her freezer. You'll probably need to catch her grilling furburgers.
tellithowitis 13
Get a jar of fleas, and threaten to throw them on her if she doesn't tell you,
mattorama 15
If she actually ADMITTED to stealing the cat in front of the cop, then take her to small claims.
pyrt93 4
poor Kitty :( i would be devastated if someone stole my cat i hope you get the Kitty back
XavierMedina 0
Hope that bee-otch goes to hell
perdix 31
I think that is just a different variety of crazy cat lady. And where are the grammar Nazis when you need them? "Me and a policeman?" Srsly?!?!?!!?