Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML
Today, I woke up feeling ill. My mom sent me to school anyway, and grounded me for "lying" about being sick. As soon as I got to school, I began vomiting blood. FML
Today, I was in a car accident. When I came home, I told my mom. She just got angry with me, blamed me for it, and didn't even ask if I was OK. FML
Today, I tried to beat my dad to the car. I jumped over the steel cables in the parking structure and hit my head on a metal pipe, then bounced off the wires, and onto my back on the pavement. Good thing we were already at the hospital to visit my sick mother. FML
Today, I received a serious concussion and several stitches to the back of my head. The attacker? My mom. FML
Today, after spending a few minutes de-icing my car and leaving the heat on so it would warm up, I slipped as I was entering the car and hit my head on the door, causing it to close and lock. I'm waiting for my mom who has a spare key to come and unlock it. Class started ten minutes ago. FML
Today, I tried to sneak in at 2 a.m. after going out, since I'm 16, but I tripped over a pair of slippers and landed flat on my face. My body fell quietly, but I let out a very loud and guttural, "Oof." After about a minute, I lifted my face to see my mom standing over me. I'm now grounded for 3 days. FML
Today, I illicitly borrowed my dad's car to go to the store, but crashed into my mom's car as she and dad were returning from my grandma's house. Both cars are totalled, my mom is in hospital with a broken collarbone, and I realised dads really can make steam come out their ears if they’re really mad. FML
Today, I was walking into my living room when I slipped over the carpet, bashed my head on my glass table, and was moaning in pain on the floor. My parents came running when they heard my head bang… straight to the table, to see if there were any scratches on it. FML
Today, I slipped and fell down the stairs, landing hard on my knee. Through my screams of agony, my mom accused me of exaggerating the pain, and said I was just being an attention seeker, before finally taking me to hospital. I was told my leg was broken. She refused to apologize. FML
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Top comments
Capybara 0
If this is true, then you really could have endangered a lot of people. What if you had passed out and swerved into a neighbor's yard or something? Still, I agree. Your mom is a bitch.
JohnnyViola 0
What a bitch.
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Comments (101)
reras89 0
I call BS.
d347hm4n 0
Maybe your mum needs a good shagging?
thekreeperkeeper 0
Could you hear the wine glass distort the sound of her voice as she spoke across the top of it into the phone? "Gee mom, I know you say it helps your hot flashes, but it's seven thirty in the morrning" #12 you're a douchebag and you can't even spell a word that was correctly spelled in the subject on which you are speaking, spend less time touching your own pair, go outside, get some air and be constructive... you ******* chronic masturbator
ijrnelson 0
To be honest this is probably a case of the boy who cried wolf too many times. You shouldn't drive if you have just received a head injury... If it's really bad call an ambulance and if not get someone to pick you up!
carnage1106 0
your pic is so lame I couldn't focus enough to read your comment
Callyn 47
Driving after gashing your head open is a very stupid thing. You should've called 911 and gotten an ambulance. Your mom's still a bitch, though.
killface_fml 0
@12: Then slit your wrists, you will become Superman.
BeautyAndBrains 0
You probably should have called 911, but your mom is a total bitch. I hope you're okay.
bitchplease69_fml 0
Ha. That kinda shit's happened to me too except I went to the hospital and the doctor didn't know what to do so he sent me home and I bled like a pint into a towel going home. Dame dizzy shit. I was passin' out.
2legit2quitnow 0
#3...can my mom come?? a year ago i was staying at my parents house for xmas and i was dating a guy who played professional paintball, (wtf right?) he was coming back from a game in Kentucky, and we live in indiana...him and 2 of his teamates were in a wreck. so i drove to KY to see him at the hospital. my mom freaked out and told me there was no accident. weird thing is, one of the kids died, i went to the funeral, it was in the paper, and she STILL wouldnt admit she was wrong for what she said.
Kitten125 0
Your mom is a BITCH! You get a freaking head injury and your grounded. Where is the LOGIC?!