Today, I finally got the courage to ask my boss why the flowers I got her for her birthday the other day were in the conference room and not her office. She told me she was allergic to them and she had such a bad reaction that it made her go home early. I made my boss sick on her birthday. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I resorted to buying some expensive flowers and sending them to my boss anonymously with a mysterious love letter, just to get her to lighten the hell up and stop constantly harassing and berating me over every little thing. FML
Today, I had to drive my girlfriend to the hospital because she had a severe allergic reaction to the flowers I brought her. FML
Today, I found out that my work threw me a birthday party alongside my coworker’s birthday. Said coworker spread a rumor, telling everyone that I wanted each person to buy me flowers and cake. Everyone thought that I was a weirdo for asking for those things from them. I wasn't at work today. FML
Today, I went into work and noticed one of my fellow colleagues had a large bunch of flowers on her desk. As soon as I saw her, I immediately said, "Happy Birthday!" Everyone went quiet. It wasn't her birthday; her father had died. FML
Today, my boss was skeptical when I told her I had a terrible migraine and needed to go home for the day early. I removed all her doubts by puking over her. FML
Today, I lit candles and scattered rose petals on the floor and on the furniture to surprise my girlfriend. When she came in, she sneezed uncontrollably because apparently she’s extremely allergic to these particular roses. The night ended with me driving her to the ER instead of dinner. FML
Today, I got in trouble with my boss for not showing up to work yesterday. It seems going into anaphylactic shock isn't a valid excuse. FML
Today, I was working in a call center when I smelled perfume. I'm allergic, and it triggered my asthma. When I came back, some jerk had sprayed it all over my work area. I couldn't go near it for the rest of my shift, therefore I had to go home early, and got my paycheck docked. FML
Today, it was my co-worker's birthday but she told me not to mention it. Feeling bad for her, I went out to buy her a card, a present, and even a small cake. It turns out that there was actually a party during our lunch break, and I was the only one in our office not invited. FML
Today, my fiancé heard I was having a rotten day at work. He stopped by the flower shop and bought me a lovely rose which I put right next to my work station. That is until a giant wasp flew out and stung me. I still have a swollen arm hours later. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
If she ever seems to hold it against you, remember that you know her one weakness. Sure, Olivia, telling a public site about this probably isn't great, but it certainly won't be enough to connect you to the crime scene when her corpse is eventually discovered surrounded by flower petals.
species4872 20
Think of it this way, you gave her the afternoon off.
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Comments (18)
middlenamefrank 8
I don't think it's a good idea to get your boss a gift, even a card, for their birthday. At best, some people will see it as kissing up, at worst, it can be elitist. Even in small offices that try to observe everybody's birthday, somebody winds up getting left out and that's no fun....ask me how I know. Wish them "Happy Birthday!" as you go by their office.
tmj25789 23
Well at least she didn't give you a hard time about it. Next time you'll know to not give her flowers.
MulticoloredSlug 18
At least she kept them instead of throwing them in the trash...
shitstorm28 11
your heart was in the right place. how were you supposed to know she was allergic?
itzhazen 3
it's the thought that counts!
DanielleinDC 34
You couldn't have known unless she'd told you before, right? Now that you know, you can get her something else.