Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML
Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML
Today, I was being playful with my boyfriend and put a chocolate between my legs. He bit the chocolate. My lips too... FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be romantic by dipping me backwards and kissing me. He dropped me on my butt, then stepped on my hand while trying to help me up. FML
Today, I was getting frisky with my husband under the covers in bed. My son decided to run into our room and cannonball on top of my husband. This startled him, which caused him to bite me. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were play fighting. He said, "I should stop trying to hurt you," before punching me in the face. I lost a tooth. He found it hilarious. FML
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be a good idea to viciously rip off my thong. My ass crack is numb. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time, and I tried to be sexy by raking my nails down his back. I guess I did it a little too hard, because he shrieked in pain, leapt off me, and limped around the room cursing and whimpering. Mood ruined. FML
Today, my boyfriend went to kiss me as we were walking home. It was very icy and he slipped. His teeth went through my lip. FML
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Top comments
U_idiot 1
FYL because your boyfriend accidentally bit your leg? I wouldn't want to be around when some terrible/FML worthy actually happens to you.
DameGreyWulf 1
Ah well? A little nibble doesn't hurt so bad. At least he tried.
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Comments (56)
post_mortem 0
OMG, your life is completely ruined... I think you should consider a suicide...
moonlit_manga 0
scaryymaryy your so stupid. team jacob has nothing to do with this. even if it did, wearwolfs bite too. maybe not with venom coated teeth....but they do. OP he tried, quit being a whiney brat.
BaBiiSpAnKy821 0
omg i think thats so sexyy when boys bite me!! if i were u i wud have growled back ;-)
LaughAtLaugh 7
omg your in a relationship and having sex!!! your life is soooooo awful. get over it ...
katiewubsmusic 0
Okay, how inconsiderate could you get? Can't you accept the fact that he was hungry and your leg suddenly seemed immensely appealing? Dammit.
DoveOrHawk 5
k, I've been bit to the point that blood was drawn. Not an FML here, just a whiny bitch with nothing better to do.
anonneemouse 0
om nom nom nom.
ninjabandkid 0
I love this :D
nikkideejay 0
i got my... you know bit once hahahahah
ifall4u 0
OMG, don't complain! I love gettin bitten, and that could have ended up so much worse.
superkitten_fml 0
Nibbling isn't bad, but if you're not keen on being properly bitten maybe you should say something? He did try though :)