Today, while I was babysitting, the toddler was feeding me banana slices from her tray while I was cutting up clay for her to mold. It was all fine until she shoved something hard and crunchy into my mouth. I immediately spat it out into my hand. It was a dead cricket she found on the floor. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML
Today, I was reaching into the floor vent in my toddler's room to retrieve some toys she'd dropped. What I found instead was a clump of large dead spiders. FML
Today, I was going to give my baby daughter an empty Pringles tin to play with on the floor. I saw some crumbs at the bottom, so I emptied the can in my mouth before I gave it to her. I crunched hard and spat them out, realizing my boyfriend had just cut his toenails into the can. FML
Today, I was eating some cake that my roommate's girlfriend brought by for us. I felt something weird in my mouth, so I stopped chewing to grab it. It was a fingernail. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I was babysitting to make a few extra dollars. While changing one of the kid's diapers, I turned around to find the other kid gone. I turned back around frantically, only to get poop flung at my face. I guess I found him. FML
Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML
Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML
Today, I found a banana peel on the clean floor. My 4-year-old son said that he was playing Spider-Man and trying to slip. I picked it up and while walking to the kitchen garbage can, slipped on the actual banana. I slid across the kitchen floor, fell, and bruised my tailbone. He laughed. FML
Today, I was babysitting my baby cousin. I was lying on my back playing with her, while holding her up in the air. As I was doing that, I made cooing noises and funny faces to get her to laugh. She laughed and threw up in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
Tomfish3000 0
That is absolutely disgusting. Eugh, I feel for you.
ninjaxprincess89 0
and i wouldve gotten arrested cuz that baby wouldve been slapped
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Comments (80)
PrettyVal 0
That's gross! Haha. But what I wanna know is how did she find a beetle on the floor and be able to pick it up? What was the tray on?
av232 0
disgusting! but at least the cricket is considered food by some people
Night_Owl 0
Aha ha ha ha ha... you just made my day. =)
lilspike2231 5
hey my ex ate a dead crickit. well it was a chocolate covered one...from some excotic food thing.. but still that sucks YDI for not looking
iFruit 0
YUM YUM BUBBLEGUM
GanjAxZermA 0
well at least it wasn't something worse :/
doctorzombie7 0
Like a live cricket.
Camels 1
Yum. :D Jokes. :l
bula_rocks 0
in op's defense, the toddler could have been eating bananas then giving them to them, but after a while the toddler was trying to put it in op's mouth? I dunno... xD
fashionloverno1 0
#61 is halarious!!
mirror_mirror 0
eeeeewwww