Anonymous · 17 March 2025, 15:00 ·Glendale, United States

Shards

Today, I was mowing my lawn when I lost control along our lawn borders and ran over one of my neighbor’s many garden gnomes. It exploded into a pile of ceramic. I soon discovered it was a limited edition collector's item when the neighbor came out just in time to see me turning her prized lawn decoration into shards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169 You deserved it 469

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Anonymous · 16 March 2025, 20:00

The noise of God

Today, my neighbour shouted at me for starting my car early in the morning because "a decent, God-fearing man" has no business going places in the dark "when Satan is about his wicked business." I’m a priest and I have a funeral to prepare for this morning. That's about as un-Satan like as you can get. FML

I agree, your life sucks 589 You deserved it 74

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unlucky neighbors · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Shanghai, China

Make yourselves at home

Today, I was staying at a seedy apartment. A group of drunken idiots next door decided it would be fun to run into the wall simultaneously. They broke through the rotted wall and ran me over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 752 You deserved it 3 445

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Dani · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·Australia

Stranger danger

Today, I happened to make eye contact with a stranger standing on a balcony of the apartment building across the train tracks from mine. He ran his finger across his neck like a knife and winked at me. I'm afraid to go out again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 343 You deserved it 2 693

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Anonymous · 4 March 2025, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

Hush!

Today, I received a letter signed “anonymously” by at least 6 of my neighbours that unless I do something about my loud nightmares they’re going to start calling the police every time it happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 461 You deserved it 149

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Alice · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Happy Valley, United States

Whoomp whoomp

Today, my neighbor's daughter started learning how to play the trombone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 560 You deserved it 5 473

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bumpinthenight · This FML is from back in 2020 but it's good stuff

Amityville

Today, I was painting my new house when my neighbor introduced himself. Mid-conversation, he said, "The lady who lived here was nice, but just couldn't get over her husband hanging himself in the garage. Or her son shooting himself in the basement." I'll never sleep again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 432 You deserved it 441

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Desperate housewife · 13 February 2025, 22:00 ·Miami, United States

Welcome to the neighborhood

Today, I tried to make a good first impression by bringing homemade cookies to my new neighbors. I dropped the entire plate of cookies on their porch, and the dog across the street immediately rushed over and ate them. My new neighbors were very polite about it, but I’m pretty sure they think I'm a psycho. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386 You deserved it 128

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Anonymous · 7 February 2025, 03:00 ·United Kingdom

Good boy

Today, someone has been knocking at my back door all day then running away, driving me mad. Turns out, next door has a new dog and the knocking was actually the dog wagging its tail hard against their back door. This means it won’t ever stop, it’s going to keep banging that damn tail forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 393 You deserved it 116

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Kris · 31 January 2025, 00:00 ·India

Not very neighborly

Today, I pretended to be on a work call to avoid talking to my neighbour. Mid-fake call, my phone actually rang. I had to answer it and have two simultaneous conversations while avioding eye contact with my neighbour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 You deserved it 509

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Daisie · 24 January 2025, 00:00 ·Santa Fe, United States

Googoo gaga

Today, I spent way too long baby-talking my neighbor’s dog through the fence, calling him "the cutest, sweetest baby." It turned out that my neighbor was sitting on the other side of the fence the entire time, out of view, quietly giggling at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 190 You deserved it 424

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No way · 10 January 2025, 22:00 ·Glasgow, United Kingdom

Loyalty

Today, I discovered my cat prefers my neighbour. I know this because she posted pictures of him on Instagram, captioned "My new baby." FML

I agree, your life sucks 349 You deserved it 196

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Anonymous · 8 January 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Mamaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Today, I mistook my neighbor’s karaoke party for a heated argument and called the cops. When they arrived, everyone was in the middle of a dramatic rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112 You deserved it 630

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Anonymous · 7 January 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Just corpsing

Today, I took a nap on my couch. I woke up three hours later to my neighbor knocking on my door, asking if I was OK because looking from the outside in, they thought I was dead. Guess I sleep like I’ve been hit by a truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 431 You deserved it 100

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Sometimes you gotta get tough · 2 January 2025, 20:00 ·United States

Busted

Today, after the seventh morning in a row where my son threw a fit because he wanted to wear summer clothes, I put him in shorts and a tank top and put him outside. He got the message and changed into long sleeves and pants. Ten minutes later, cops pull up. My nosy neighbor called CPS. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643 You deserved it 116

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DookDaSpook · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·San Francisco, United States

The dipshit in 4B

Today, while I was in a very important meeting on Skype, my apartment complex was evacuated due to the fire alarm going off. The reason was that my neighbor put a fork in his microwave due to him being extremely drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 916 You deserved it 1 391

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Anonymous · 24 December 2024, 16:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Dogging at home

Today, my wife and I got freaky in the living room. Apparently we didn’t close the curtain all the way because three of our neighbours called the police. There was barely a 4 inch gap in the curtain. They must've had their noses right up to the window, or using binoculars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534 You deserved it 150

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Anonymous · 21 November 2024, 12:00 ·Lafayette, United States

Karen of the day

Today, my ultra-Christian neighbor called the cops on me (again). This time, it was because she could smell "weed" coming from my apartment. I was burning sage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510 You deserved it 118

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Anonymous · 10 November 2024, 12:00 ·United Kingdom

Metal Zone

Today, our baby refuses to sleep through the night. My dad told us to play Heavy Metal because it put me to sleep as a baby. We are currently playing "Jekyll and Hyde" by Five Finger Death Punch on repeat and she’s been asleep for 7 hours. Unfortunately, the neighbours are furious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 400 You deserved it 216

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United Kingdom

Nice neighborhood you've got here

Today, my neighbours kicked my football back over the fence. They'd slashed it and taped a note to the remains that said, "Do it again and it'll be your face." Now I'm scared to play football in my own backyard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 917 You deserved it 4 120

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AlfieBoyo · 6 November 2024, 20:00 ·United States

Trash day

Today, I got locked out of my house in my pajamas while trying to take the trash out. My neighbor offered to help, but only after taking a picture of me for "future laughs." FML

I agree, your life sucks 369 You deserved it 144

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Proud momma · 3 November 2024, 20:00 ·Toronto, Canada

Trash talking little dude

Today, my toddler learned the phrase “Shut up.” He now loudly says it to anyone who speaks to him, including our elderly neighbor, whose only crime was complimenting him on his shoes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 349 You deserved it 205

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Anonymous · 3 November 2024, 09:00 ·Glasgow, United Kingdom

Podcasters need to be stopped

Today, I was listening to a true-crime podcast while taking a shower. Right as the narrator said, “And then he heard a loud bang,” my shampoo bottle fell off the ledge with a loud thud. I screamed so loudly, I apparently scared my neighbours, who banged on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191 You deserved it 352

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NervousDog · 26 October 2024, 18:00 ·United States

Out of the frying pan into a similar frying pan

Today, they're jackhammering through concrete walls at my workplace in order to build an addition. I'm allowed to work from home… but I live right next to where they're jackhammering down a concrete garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422 You deserved it 73

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seriously · 25 October 2024, 18:00 ·San Diego, United States

The biohazard next door

Today, no matter how many times I've asked, my dumbass neighbor can't get into the habit of regularly picking up after her six dogs. Her backyard is covered in shit with probably just inches between each pile or log. This means the wind blows the smell of shit in the direction of my house. I can't open a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 484 You deserved it 78

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Anonymous · 22 October 2024, 12:00 ·United Kingdom

I'll get the kettle on

Today, I got locked out of my house while wearing pyjamas. I didn’t have my phone, so I had to ask my neighbour to call a locksmith. She insisted on chatting at me for an hour about her love life, while I sat there waiting desperately for the locksmith in my dinosaur-print pyjamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375 You deserved it 200

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Anonymous · 16 October 2024, 06:00 ·United States

Teamsports

Today, my husband is very liberal. Normally this is a good thing, but the people across the street have put out a TRUMP sign and he's gone nuts. He built a massive HARRIS/WALZ sign in our front yard and is hassling the rest of the neighborhood about it. Half of them are putting out TRUMP signs out of spite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337 You deserved it 481

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Anonymous · 10 October 2024, 00:00 ·United States

Can it, Whitney!

Today, I discovered that my neighbors had held a secret "meeting" to discuss how annoying my "constant singing" as I go about my days in my apartment. They even made a petition, with over ten signatures, asking me to "cease and desist." FML

I agree, your life sucks 160 You deserved it 540

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Anonymous · 29 September 2024, 22:00 ·Burlington, United States

What was in the box?

Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367 You deserved it 163

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Stevie · 29 September 2024, 06:00 ·Lisbon, Portugal

Voice of a generation

Today, I was belting out Beyoncé in the shower, really feeling myself. When I got out, I heard applause. My new neighbors were sitting on their balcony and I had my bedroom window open. They'd been unwilling members of my entire shower performance's audience, and the applause was definitely sarcastic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160 You deserved it 426

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