Today, my family got mad at me for eloping and not inviting them to my wedding. Even though they admitted they wouldn't have gone anyway. FML
Today, I tried to get my boyfriend's attention by taking my bra off and tossing it at him. He only put it on as a hat and kept playing his video games. FML
Today, I joined my boyfriend at a work conference out of state. One of the other conference-goers struck up a conversation and I obliged. Apparently, I was too nice. He followed me into the hotel lobby and openly watched me go back to my hotel room, making sure to count the room numbers. FML
CreeptacularBait tells us more.
Hello there! OP Here! Sorry for the long post in advance! Thank you for all the comments! 1) I went for a walk outside while my boyfriend was off at a meeting at the main office (It's a HUGE Company). Since he was gone for hours I was trying to entertain myself. The man approached me outside the hotel as I was coming in. I only knew he worked for the same company because he had on a company shirt and was talking with a large group of other people wearing the same shirt. He stepped into my path inside to talk to me. 2) I didn't think anything was wrong at first but when I went to go inside I could see his reflection on the glass doors of the hotel and noticed he was watching me leave. I tried to shrug it off as me being paranoid. 3) The layout of the hotel is that there is a large open lobby plan. All of the rooms open up to the main lobby, so you could be on the first floor, or the ninth floor, and still see everything from standing in the main lobby. I was on the third floor almost already at my room when I glanced down and saw him in the main lobby STARING RIGHT AT ME. I immediately whipped my head forwards and watched from the corner of my eye and he refused to take his eyes off of me. I panicked and thought about hiding behind a pillar but realized that would alert him to the fact I knew he was there and might make him react in a bad way. I went towards my room, realized that that was also a bad idea because now he knew what room I was in, so I turned and went to try and head down to another room, but panicked again and hid behind a pillar when I saw he was counting the doors from the lobby and hadn't seen me come back out again. So I darted back in my room, locked the door, and stayed in the back room with a lamp at the ready. 4) I immediately tried to call my boyfriend but he didn't pick up. Not long after I heard someone at the door and had the lamp at the ready when my boyfriend walked in. He was completely bewildered, so I explained everything. He laughed and said if the guy did try to come to the room he would answer the door: Naked. 5) We ended up leaving a day earlier than expected and it turned out for the best because his friend apparently wasn't booked for the night when he needed to be so we gave him our room. We also warned him about the guy and he said if the guy did show up, he'd answer the door naked too! We did get some lovely sight-seeing in, instead. :)
Heritage not hate, huh?
Today, my father informed me that I will have no chance of dating a good man if I keep up with these interracial relationships. And that he won't be supporting me through college if I continue this "rebellion." My boyfriend is half black and loves the same music, sports, and movies as my dad. FML
Today, my girlfriend of 5 years gave me the "I'm not in love with you anymore" speech. I saw it coming, so I'd planned to play it cool by saying, "If you're sure it's something we can't fix, I'd rather not talk about it". After a while, I realised I was just sitting there like a child, fidgeting and shaking. FML
Satch_fml tells us more.
Satch_fml 11
FML Dear all, this is OP. The world (including the Internet) always shows its true beauty when you need it most. These comments have truly helped me through a tough few days. It's hard to include all the context of a situation in just 300 characters, I guess I consider myself a strong person so I was just wanting to get across the point that I never thought I'd show so much emotion to something like this, regardless how much I truly love her. To add some context when I say "I saw it coming" I meant in the sense of a day not weeks, she'd given me the "We need to talk in person" text earlier in the day. Everyone on here has been amazing, I'm not phased by the "Man up" comments, as I said before there isn't a lot of context in 300 characters, to update you all I'm doing fine. I'll get through this. Life requires us to forgive, forget and move on. I always carry a 'shit happens' attitude and a knowledge that everything will be fine given time. I'm focusing on the positives of the situation, at least now I can date/marry someone with a rich family and a lucrative career.
Today, my boyfriend of a year and a half informed me that he had "accepted" my stomach, even though it didn't conform to his "preference" for a flat stomach. He then added that his acceptance doesn't extend to my "chunky thighs". FML
Today, my girlfriend of two months and I are in completely different points in our lives. She ambushed me with ideas of having kids, getting married and being together forever. Currently, my biggest concern is passing the tenth grade. FML
NordicNathan tells us more.
NordicNathan 14
Hey, I'm the author of the FML. So to clarify I just turned 16, she just turned 17 and is in the 12th grade. I've had my doubts about our relationship for a while because of how incompatible we are as people, but her talking about what she wants to name our kids and how cute they will be was kind of the last straw for me. She said "I love you" after our second time seeing each other and after she had already cheated on me, so I definitely hear all the comments about telling her my concerns and/or breaking up with her. But she cries at the drop of a hat and is what I would consider emotionally unstable, this is also the reason I didn't break up with her after she cheated on me. I wasn't raised to make people cry so I tried to be understanding in the situation. She is so bad that she is still crying about her previous boyfriend while telling me that I'm the best boyfriend ever. So I don't know how to break it to her without crushing her. Any ideas?
Today, I went back to my high school for an event with some of my friends, both of which are in relationships. Whilst there we saw our favorite teacher, who hugged us and said, "I heard you have a boyfriend! And so do you!" And then she turned to me and said, "And... And you're doing great things!" FML
Today, my boyfriend took me to dinner. As we waited for our food he took my hand and said, "I think we should break up." When I got outside, my tire was flat. FML
Today, I talked to my high school sweetheart after 12 years. He confessed that he's been single ever since we broke up, never got over me, and that to this day he loves me dearly. I'm a married mother of two. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend decided to humiliate me by confessing to my dad in detail what he and I had done together and "apologizing" for taking my virginity. FML
Today, my wife, the budding environmentalist, who is also 6 months pregnant, threatened to leave me because according to her I'm responsible for the world's deforestation. I'd only drawn her a picture of her with our baby-to-be. FML
Today, a student came out to me, saying that she thinks she's gay. This has happened several times since I have taught here, which made me wonder why they were comfortable telling me. Turns out being a single, childless woman of my age screams "lesbian" to this particular community. I'm not. FML
phalangesenfuego tells us more.
OP here. Just to clarify, I'm not offended that people mistake me for a lesbian. What bothered me was the assumption was made based on what I feel are stereotypes of what a lesbian should be (single and childless). I do support ALL my students with whatever they come to me with, be it family issues, bullying problems, etc, and I feel privileged they feel comfortable enough to come to me with these things they are struggling with. And thank you for all the positive comments. Sometimes teaching is a thankless job, and positive support is few and far between.
Freudian
Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML
Today, I discovered my boyfriend listens way better in his sleep than he does when he's awake. FML
Today, an attractive woman sat beside me at the doctor's office. Unfortunately, on my other side was my senile old uncle who can't control his bowels, and after a few uncontrollable farts, she was on the other side of the room. FML
Today, I actually had to reassure the girl I'm seeing that she can't "catch" my epilepsy. FML
Today, I introduced my kind and amazing Iranian boyfriend to my mother. When he went to use the rest room, she warned me to "knock it off with this Bin Laden fetish" or she'll have me put on psychiatric hold. FML
Today, my mum asked when she's getting grandkids. I had to tell her that, at 21 years-old, I hadn't even managed to get a boyfriend yet. FML
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I've recently become serious about getting fit, and have lost nearly 84 pounds. Apparently, when I was fat, I made her look smaller in comparison. When I got slimmer, she insisted I either gain the weight back or she'd leave. So she did. FML
Today, I let my estranged husband move back in with my son and me. Later, his pregnant and underage girlfriend knocked on my door, crying about how her mom kicked her out. I'm such a pushover, they're in my bed and I'm on the couch. FML
Busting makes me feel good
Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones made her extremely horny. The doctor said that intercourse during pregnancy was very healthy, so we decided to do it. Let's just say that the bumpy ride didn't help her morning sickness. FML
Today, my girlfriend had a complete breakdown. I was trying to calm her down and reassure her that she will accomplish all of her dreams. Her response: "Then why am I even with you?" FML
Today, my dad walked into my school and joked around saying that he's going to shoot my boyfriend. We all laughed. Except my boyfriend. He was sobbing in a corner. FML
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his mom for the very first time. After shaking my hand and looking me up and down, she loudly proclaimed, "She doesn't have the right hips to have kids." FML
Denial
Today, I said "I love you" to my girlfriend for the first time. She responded with, "I'm just gonna pretend I never heard that." FML
Painful
Today, my roommate made out with this guy I kind of had a thing for. It wasn't a big deal to sober me, but drunk me wasn't having it. I drank half a bottle of vodka, punched a hole in a wall, and cried while laying on the floor. FML
Today, my boyfriend still won't get a job, because he's convinced he's going to make millions inventing and selling carbonated ketchup. FML
How could you?
Today, I got accused of ruining my girlfriend's birthday, all because I accidentally got her the same birthday present as her mother did. FML