Healthy Lifestyle

Healthy lifestyle influencer

By Pickle - 03/03/2011 06:58 - United States

Today, my friend and I taught a very involved healthy nutrition program to underprivileged youths at a local center. We even made them a healthy snack at the end of the program. Within minutes of the program being over, we caught some of our fellow volunteers feeding the kids Oreos. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 267

You deserved it 5 367

Sticky

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 00:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, it's been a few days since I had surgery, which means I can’t wash my hair myself for a couple of weeks. Today I paid to have it washed professionally… then proceeded to spill liquid glucose all over the ends of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 310

You deserved it 125

Himbo

By Anonymous - 12/07/2025 12:00 - United States

Today, I went to the gym to do squats. I couldn't even do it without weights on the squatting bar because it hurt too much to rest it on my back and neck. Then my friend who was with me and who is skinny as a rail easily managed it with two 45 pound weights. He claims it's from practice. I guess I’m wimpy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 399

Money, Ethan

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 08:01

Today, I felt like working out again since it’s been a while. When I was done and talking to my wife about how good I felt afterwards, my 3 year-old came and patted my stomach and said, "Baby in there, baby in there." Yes, I feel so good. FML

I agree, your life sucks 831

You deserved it 175

She's not wrong

By Anonymous - 25/03/2022 06:00

Today, I reprimanded my daughter for eating too many chips, since it's not good for you. She responded with, "Know what else isn't good for you? Two cigarettes a day." I couldn't even come up with a retort. I can't believe I just got burned by a ten-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 253

You deserved it 2 193

Adulting is tough

By Anonymous - 10/08/2024 00:00 - Canada

Today, in last ditch attempt to be an adult, I trotted out to do my grocery shopping for the week. As I confidently strode through the produce aisle, I grabbed what I thought was a nice, ripe mango. At checkout, the cashier kindly informed me it was in fact a massive potato. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105

You deserved it 567

Lost

By Anonymous - 06/06/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I walked into the gym in my new workout outfit and headed straight for the weight machines. After 10 minutes, a staff member tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Sir, this is a physical therapy clinic.” The gym was next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 162

You deserved it 466

Compromises

By DepressionBetty - 11/10/2021 08:00

Today, I realized I agreed to go to the gym with my fiancé after being on my feet at work all day because he wants to get fit, but he will not help me remodel the house I’m working on so we can have a bigger place to live, because he doesn’t feel like it. I don’t want or need to go to the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 088

You deserved it 349

New life

By Anonymous - 27/12/2020 17:04 - Germany

Today, after losing my job, my apartment and my man, I had to move back in with my mom, at 37. She’s a total slob; I can’t function without clean, organized spaces. So, hey, at least I have a new full-time job now: cleaning up after her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 199

Mean meanie

By yeah uh huh - 16/06/2021 06:00 - United States

Today, my stepmother, an uncontrolled diabetic who refuses to change her abhorrent eating habits, berated me for how "mean" I am for limiting my kids’ junk food, and making them eat a portion of vegetables with every meal. Yeah, real mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 106

You deserved it 87

Hot hot hot

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Center Line

Today, I walked to the grocery store despite being out of shape since it was typically only a 30 minute walk and gas prices are bad. The hourly temperature on my weather app was wrong as usual so by the time I got to the store, I was sweating buckets. By the time I got back home, I was so overheated I nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 329

You deserved it 146

Portion control

By Anonymous - 13/04/2026 12:00 - United States - Fontana

Today, my wife refuses to acknowledge our kids’ weight problem. When I try, she claims bodyshaming. The last time we went to the park, one wouldn’t get off the bench, the other was too big for the slide, and our daughter got stuck in the swing. They were all so winded they couldn’t talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 114

Worn out work out

By Anonymous - 29/07/2024 09:00 - Germany

Today, I have to admit to being extremely conservative. As in: Literally. My body is so hell-bent on conserving energy that, after a sweaty workout, it tells me, “That is quite enough, young lady. There will be no more heating of non-vital body parts for the rest of the day.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 330

You deserved it 127

Source?

By Yudith - 11/03/2024 12:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I can't drink coffee anymore due to its turbo-diarrhea effect on me. I also have to take something with caffeine everyday or I will have a migraine, so I drink Diet Coke. Today, I saw on TV that even two cans of soda a week erase the heart health gains made during exercise. Goodbye, healthy hearth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341

You deserved it 257

I'm an empath

By SweetFriends - 29/07/2022 10:00 - United States

Today, I've started to dislike my friends. I'm in my 30s, play soccer, and was recently diagnosed with diabetes - mostly due to genetics - but the decades of poverty and eating restaurant mistakes didn't help. I treated my friend to a ball game and told her. She asked if I was being responsible, then ordered a second beer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 614

You deserved it 342

8 out of 10 orthopedists

By Anonymous - 15/05/2021 14:01 - Germany

Today, I had a talk with my orthopedist about getting back to fitness training. However, according to her, all my favorite exercises, although taught to me by professionals, are "things one should never do" and "very very bad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 797

You deserved it 144

Never again

By fat inspiration - 24/02/2022 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out that when my ex needs motivation to go to the gym, she posts a picture of herself in a pair of huge pants with the caption, “NEVER AGAIN!” Problem? They’re my pants, that I'd left at her place after we broke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 221

Weird logic

By can’t go vegan - 07/07/2023 03:00

Today, I actually overheard the sentence, “People who can’t go vegan for medical reasons should die gracefully rather than eat an animal.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 146

Inspiring

By indierocklove - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I finally started doing cardio and getting in shape. What motivated me to do it? Watching a zombie movie. The slow ones bite the dust first. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 761

You deserved it 8 962

Let's slip out of here

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 980

You deserved it 101 053

Pigpen

By Anonymous - 23/04/2025 03:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, my husband is furious with me for hurting his daughter’s feelings. Neither he nor his ex make her shower and she smells disgusting! It’s nearly impossible to even sit in the same room with her, as her odor changes the smell of the entire space. All I did was suggest a bath and she cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 120

It's called growing old

By Anonymous - 23/09/2021 11:01

Today, I woke up with the nastiest, most brutal hangover ever. I haven't had alcohol in 10 years and I only eat healthy, yet my body craps itself out because… reasons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 165

Chemical warfare

By Yurgh - 19/12/2024 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, and ever since my fiance started eating apples instead of junk food, he now has horribly foul diarrhea every morning, and keeps insisting it's his body "flushing out the toxins." I'm about to rent a Porta Potty so our bathrooms don't smell like sewage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 153

Self-confidence boost

By Uri - 12/06/2025 09:00 - United Kingdom - Newcastle

Today, I was jogging with my shirt off, feeling confident and athletic. A car slowed down next to me. I expected a compliment, but instead, a kid leaned out the window and yelled, “Put it back on, Shrek!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 413

You deserved it 160

Fitness check

By Christine - 11/08/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I went to my first spin class. Trying my best, I hopped on the bike and started pedaling like I’d been doing it for years. The instructor came over, adjusted the seat, and as soon as she let go, I completely lost my balance and tipped over. The bike fell sideways, taking me and two water bottles with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 135

Hypocritical

By creepingjennie - 09/12/2021 04:59

Today, I realized that the only thing that relieves my chronic facial pain is vaping CBD. I previously was very vocal about how much I hate smoking and vaping. My kids think I'm a hypocrite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 1 057

What even is normal?

By Anonymous - 23/01/2025 00:00 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, after months and months of trying to get my blood pressure back up to normal, and try to get back to optimal health, my doctor told me I'll never get better for the rest of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450

You deserved it 68

Dick

By missPiggy - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Norway

Today, a colleague found out that I struggled with anorexia when young. After ranting about how it's a silly 'Women's disease', he renamed me 'Miss Piggy' and made oinking noises every time I ate something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 815

You deserved it 2 352

A bit much

By Anonymous - 27/08/2019 18:00 - United States

Today, I ordered takeout. When I looked in the bag, I saw they'd included four sets of plastic cutlery. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, then estimated that there must be at least four people eating such a large meal. I was eating alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 540

You deserved it 1 007

They'll hear you coming

By Anonymous - 30/09/2019 06:00

Today, I was diagnosed with exercise-induced asthma. I wanted to be a cop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 184

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The Top

Today, I was using the restroom at a gas station when someone hurriedly knocked on the door. Thinking that it was my sister, I playfully said, "Hold up, hoe!" I opened the door to see a goth woman with an edgy haircut giving me a death stare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 832

You deserved it 6 016

Today, I went to a group gym lesson. While working on our abs, the coach came through, touching our stomachs to check we were doing the exercises correctly. When he got to me, he asked, "How many kids have you got then?" I'm 22, and I've got none. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 64

Today, the steroids I was prescribed for a slightly irritating sinus infection have worked, albeit at the price of making me almost shit my pants multiple times. My sinuses are now clear enough that I get the full scent of my steroid-induced diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 471

You deserved it 3 083

Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 170

You deserved it 4 275

Today, an angry customer rubbed her hand all over my face, all while showing me her positive COVID-19 test results. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 697

You deserved it 173

Today, I told my friend that I don't like spending time around one of her other friends. He's a hardcore Trumpist, who goes out of his way to make people uncomfortable, and be as cruel as possible at every opportunity. She uninvited me from our weekly game nights, because, "He's lonely and depressed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 924

You deserved it 385