Anonymous · 9 June 2024, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

Quietly overjoyed

Today, I think my boyfriend of 5 years is going to propose soon. He told me he was thinking about it last year, and spoke to his parents, who said they wouldn't attend the wedding as "It's not their thing." My dad passed away in November and I don't talk to my mum, so I have no one to be excited with and share the news. FML

I agree, your life sucks 551 You deserved it 106

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Anonymous · 8 June 2024, 09:00 ·United Kingdom

Help out!

Today, as I’ve been doing our family tree, it's become clear to me that every man who has married into my wife’s family for at least 4 generations has died within 15 years of the wedding. It’s our 13th anniversary next month. Two years to go. Someone help me by keeping their fingers crossed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526 You deserved it 75

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Anonymous · 8 June 2024, 00:00 ·Colorado Springs, United States

My family blows

Today, I'm incredibly sick. I can't breathe, can't walk ten steps without falling, and no one believes me. My mom just sat next to me and said, "Honey, isn't this all a bit much? Quit being dramatic, because I can't believe this." When I asked why I would fake this, my sister yelled, "Guess you can't go shopping!" I'd want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422 You deserved it 107

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Anonymous · 7 June 2024, 14:00 ·United Kingdom

Family delusion

Today, my delusional parents are harassing me to donate my house to my little sister, because she's now a single mother at 17, and needs a house for the baby, but sure, I should reward her by giving her my stuff that I worked hard for, just because she can’t keep her knees together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993 You deserved it 123

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No more · 7 June 2024, 09:00 ·United States

Family days

Today, I don't know why I bothered taking my family to the beach. All my wife wants to do is shop at the same crappy cheap chains she always goes to, and all my son wants to do is watch cartoons. Whenever I suggest anything different, they both throw tantrums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526 You deserved it 120

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Anonymous · 3 June 2024, 20:00 ·Laval, Canada

Kinda effed up

Today, my sister is a murderer but my family admitted they prefer her over me. I had to move to a new city to get away from the media and drama, I have no friends, and the only family who calls me is my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 630 You deserved it 96

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Anonymous · 31 May 2024, 20:00 ·Dallas, United States

This is fine

Today, we're in the middle of vacation. Two days in, my dad no longer wants to do anything but sit in the hotel room and sulk because, "it's all about us." We'd already tried taking him to an antique car and motorcycle museum, and a local gun show, but he just sat in the car pouting. Five more days of this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556 You deserved it 95

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No more monkeys! · 28 May 2024, 16:00 ·Riverside, United States

Dream on

Today, my husband’s dream has always been to have a big family. I however cannot physically or mentally handle having any more. He’s now threatening to hire a surrogate to continue pumping out babies for him. We already have 8. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 108 You deserved it 139

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Swings and roundabouts

Today, despite being the fittest member of my family, with a good exercise routine and a decent diet, I'm the only one who was just diagnosed with diabetes. Meanwhile, the rest of my family are fat, lazy slobs who eat like shit, but are otherwise healthy as horses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 311 You deserved it 397

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Anonymous · 26 May 2024, 06:00 ·United Kingdom

Busted

Today, my perfect princess sister is finally going to jail where she belongs. My parents, who doted on her while dumping shit on me, blame me for “being a bad influence and not talking to the judge on her behalf.” I’m a technical engineer; what influence do they think I have in a criminal court? FML

I agree, your life sucks 598 You deserved it 105

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Anonymous · 23 May 2024, 00:00 ·Lafayette, United States

Later…

Today, after three weeks of calling the office and telling them how much she needed it, my mom's doctor finally agreed to give her an oxygen tank. She died last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 872 You deserved it 101

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Brain Bleach? Anyone? · 22 May 2024, 16:00 ·United States

Don't come again!

Today, as an adult, I finally got to meet my great-grandfather. I had no idea he was still alive, since my parents and even my grandpa never told me. When we met, I found out why my family like to pretend he doesn't exist: This senile 93-year-old is by far the most racist person I've ever encountered in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532 You deserved it 169

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Dante · 21 May 2024, 20:00 ·Povoa de Santa Iria, Portugal 🌶️ Spicy

You OK, bro?

Today, my sister's boyfriend asked for tips on how to please her in bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607 You deserved it 132

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vegasman20002 · 18 May 2024, 12:00 ·Garden City, United States

Let that sink in

Today, my father-in-law shat himself in my bathroom and tried to flush some of the evidence down my sink. Sink that I'd just cleaned up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 466 You deserved it 67

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Anonymous · 16 May 2024, 14:00 ·United States

Loud and clear

Today, my mother-in-law got me a pair of $2 socks for my birthday. Usually, I don't care… until I found out she got my husband's friend, not even best friend, a $100 gift card, and offered him her free hotel room at the casinos. This is the fifth holiday in a row I've received gifts under $10. FML

I agree, your life sucks 504 You deserved it 93

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Anonymous · 13 May 2024, 12:00 ·Seattle, United States

Happy mother

Today, instead of getting ready for Mother’s Day weekend, I’m recovering from emergency surgery. Last year my kid gave me COVID for Mother’s Day. The year before, my whole family forgot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530 You deserved it 126

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Let it bleed · 9 May 2024, 22:00 ·United States

Lockdown throwback!

Today, my brother is staying over for a while. I thought I was prepared for this, but I totally forgot that he is inexplicably prone to having random nosebleeds. He's going through my Kleenex faster than a horny teenage boy left alone in his room. Time to hoard Kleenex like how people hoarded toilet paper in 2020. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401 You deserved it 103

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Ted · 8 May 2024, 22:00 ·Australia

No kidding

Today, I volunteered to babysit my niece. How hard can it be to entertain a toddler for a few hours? Turns out, very hard. Within minutes, she'd turned the living room into a war zone, with crayon graffiti and a trail of sticky handprints leading to who knows where. By the time her parents got back, I was ready to sign up for a lifetime supply of earplugs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 212 You deserved it 450

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Brother_Out_2024 · 8 May 2024, 00:00 ·United States

Quality family time

Today, I’m on a highly undesired family vacation with my sisters and their spouses. One sister can’t stop attacking her husband‘s short comings, and the other is having an anxiety attack her wife is woefully unprepared to deal with. Better you than me, Cuñados. FML

I agree, your life sucks 384 You deserved it 103

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Anonymous · 7 May 2024, 09:00 ·New Zealand

Meat beating

Today, I attended a family gathering where everyone was taking turns sharing exciting life updates. When it was my turn, I proudly announced that I'd finally mastered the art of adulting... only for my dad to pipe up with, "Makes a change from when you used to wank like a gibbon thinking we couldn't hear you up there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 503 You deserved it 240

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Anonymous · 6 May 2024, 22:00 ·United States

Double standard

Today, I was at a wedding reception. Everyone got offended when I threw my hands up and backed off to avoid catching the garter and let the two guys on either side fight for it. Nothing but laughs for the cousin who grabbed the bouquet out of someone else's hand and punched her, though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506 You deserved it 124

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Anonymous · 3 May 2024, 00:00 ·Harrisburg, United States

Take a chance on me

Today, my family keeps pestering me about whether I've contacted my father yet. My father, the one who treated me and my family like crap throughout my upbringing and cheated on my mom a few years ago. I don't know why they think I'd ever want to see him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 473 You deserved it 98

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heyadrian · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·Gardena, United States

Misconstrued

Today, I went to a family reunion. I laughed at my uncle's Sylvester Stallone impression. Turns out he had a stroke a while back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 931 You deserved it 16 783

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Anonymous · 2 May 2024, 16:00 ·United States

Entitlement

Today, despite the fact that we are well off and desperate to be parents, my sister refuses to let us adopt her unborn baby, and intends to “raise him on her own.” We earn twice what she does and have been trying to conceive or adopt for 7 years, and she doesn’t even have a husband. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140 You deserved it 2 622

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Anonymous · 2 May 2024, 06:00 ·United States

That's so sick!

Today, I found out my wife of 5 years, with whom we have three kids, is actually my cousin. At a family dinner someone had pointed out how much she looks like my uncle. We laughed until she mentioned that she was adopted from the same town my uncle's ex-wife had a baby. A few questions and a blood test later, we all learned the sick truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 711 You deserved it 115

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Anonymous · 1 May 2024, 20:00 ·United Kingdom

Typical family

Today, I'd always wanted a baby girl, so much so I wound up with four boys before deciding I couldn’t handle another pregnancy. The eldest two hate their dad, the youngest two hate me, and all four of them hate each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 236 You deserved it 711

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Anonymous · 29 April 2024, 20:00 ·United States 🌶️ Spicy

Kinky

Today, I was asked to pick up something from my parents' house, only to be greeted with the horrid surprise that my elderly dad has taken to wearing women's pantyhose and garters. He claims it's for his knees, but that doesn't explain the boner I had to see peeking out of his panties. FML

I agree, your life sucks 524 You deserved it 134

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dad · 28 April 2024, 20:00 ·United States

So, here's the thing…

Today, my 6 year-old son and his cousin were play boxing. For fun, I taught them some real moves. I guess my son is a natural but my nephew got hit so hard he fell over and broke his arm. Now I have to explain this to my wife and her sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150 You deserved it 691

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Help me · 28 April 2024, 09:00 ·United States

Speak up

Today, as I experienced another bout of existential dread while trying to sleep, I declared that it would be the day I opened up to my family about the full extent of my mental health struggles. Also today, I didn't do it. Again. Because I'm anxious it may inconvenience them to worry about me too much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 396 You deserved it 163

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Anonymous · 18 April 2024, 12:00

The truth will out

Today, my uncle got drunk and started ranting about how great I was and how amazing it is that I almost wasn’t born because somehow I managed to survive the failed abortion my mom really wanted. News to me. Mom never wanted me and tried to abort me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 510 You deserved it 91

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