Today, as I’ve been doing our family tree, it's become clear to me that every man who has married into my wife’s family for at least 4 generations has died within 15 years of the wedding. It’s our 13th anniversary next month. Two years to go. Someone help me by keeping their fingers crossed. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Today, my husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for a year, with no success. My husband's unemployable brother and (still legally married to another man) fiancée announced they are expecting. They have 7 kids between the two of them already. FML
Today, my husband told me yet again that the last two years have been the worst of his life. Our two year anniversary is next week. FML
Today, my wife returned to Mexico where her grandfather is dying. I’m supportive, but while the old buzzard continues the circle the drain, she’s posting weekend photos of her and her high school friends hiking, doing shots, and hitting the pool. Happy Anniversary, Babe. FML
Today, the woman I've loved for 15 years and had children with told me she's remarrying to the man she cheated on me with. Since her father passed last year, she wants me to give her away at the wedding. FML
Today, is the 6 month anniversary of my boyfriend and I. Turns out next month he will be celebrating the 3 year anniversary of him and his wife. FML
Today, my father-in-law is still introducing me to family friends as his son's girlfriend. I have been married to his son for 5 years, we have a child together and another on the way. FML
Today, my dad gave a speech at my wedding. It started with, “Forty years ago, there was a tree…” and continued in the same vein about his work as a biologist. I might have been mentioned in passing. My new wife was not. FML
Today, my wife and I were born on the same day, married on our birthday date. Today is our birthday and anniversary, and today we are getting divorced. FML
Today, because of my wife’s inability to keep her nasty opinions to herself, the last of our children told us via text that they won’t be visiting anymore, or letting us see our grandchildren. So now it’s just me and her, financially trapped in this marriage until one of us dies of old age. FML
Today, I realized my marriage makes me feel like I'm just passing time until death. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
bagoflays 1
I feel like this could be a good movie premise though
Chazzster 32
My suggestion would be to write this out and sign and date it, and mail it to a member of your family. Ask them to hold it safe. … It could be coincidence but be careful of things that don’t taste normal - especially too sweet. There are a variety of common potential poisons that taste especially sweet (such as ant poison and antifreeze). Unusual bitter is easy to spot, but sometimes people miss a sweet poison. (My ex at one time worked with a person later discovered to be a serial killer (Michael Swango) and he may have put ant poison in a coworker’s Pepsi.) … There are such things as coincidences and sometimes patterns with predictable results -Like a younger person marrying an older person. I wouldn’t throw out the relationship based solely on what might be a coincidence, but I would be careful if I were you.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (4)
bagoflays 1
I feel like this could be a good movie premise though
Vesi 30
I wonder if their name is Owens... =D
Chazzster 32
My suggestion would be to write this out and sign and date it, and mail it to a member of your family. Ask them to hold it safe. … It could be coincidence but be careful of things that don’t taste normal - especially too sweet. There are a variety of common potential poisons that taste especially sweet (such as ant poison and antifreeze). Unusual bitter is easy to spot, but sometimes people miss a sweet poison. (My ex at one time worked with a person later discovered to be a serial killer (Michael Swango) and he may have put ant poison in a coworker’s Pepsi.) … There are such things as coincidences and sometimes patterns with predictable results -Like a younger person marrying an older person. I wouldn’t throw out the relationship based solely on what might be a coincidence, but I would be careful if I were you.
Wadlaen 24
You could be the one to break the chain!
BurnInDemonFire 39
Does your wife make you think of Sharon Stone in 'Basic Instinct'? If so, run. Now.