Anonymous · 1 September 2025, 03:00 ·United States

Be the change you want to see in the world

Today, unfortunately, my friend is a victim of domestic violence and I want to be there for her. The dilemma is that I was abused for 7 months by one of her buddies and she's basically making it out as if it didn't happen. Basically downplaying my trauma all because it's her "homie." Double standards or what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 475 You deserved it 118

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Anonymous · 31 August 2025, 03:00 ·United Kingdom

Chill out, dude

Today, I told my boyfriend I’m pregnant. He broke down crying because his mother is going to be so mad at him. He’s in his 30’s and we've lived together for over 4 years, it’s not like it was a drunken mistake, it just happened naturally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426 You deserved it 132

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Anonymous · 30 August 2025, 15:00 ·United States

America's got talent

Today, I connected my phone to my car’s Bluetooth to listen to music. I didn’t realize my playlist had shuffled onto an old voice memo where I'd drunkenly recorded myself singing a heartfelt love song about pizza. It played as my boss got in for our carpool to a conference. I had to sit through the drive while she hummed along to “Cheese, you complete me.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 429

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Tag · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Perth, Australia

It wasn't me

Today, a woman screamed at me for five minutes, demanding to know how long I'd been having an affair with her husband. I explained for the second time that she'd dialed a wrong number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 375 You deserved it 2 784

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Anonymous · 29 August 2025, 15:00 ·United States

I can explain

Today, on my lunch break, I was walking to my car balancing 3 tacos, soda and napkins. A gust of wind blew my napkins up the street. In my attempt to catch them, I tripped onto the sidewalk. The tacos landed inside a car. Its owner came out just in time to see me standing next to their dash covered in salsa and lettuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321 You deserved it 164

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Anonymous · 29 August 2025, 00:00 ·United Kingdom

Soda Pop

Today, it's 1:30 in the goddamn morning and I can’t sleep because my boyfriend is so obsessed with KPop Demon Hunters that he's in bed next to me listening to the songs with his headphones at full volume. He might actually be addicted, as he says he physically can’t make himself stop listening. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347 You deserved it 93

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katsumi · 28 August 2025, 22:00 ·Setagaya-ku, Japan

Crossed wires

Today, I spent hours carefully writing a super-polite email to an international law firm about an invoice mistake. I finally pressed send, only to realize I had addressed it to my gym trainer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110 You deserved it 338

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Jadwiga · 27 August 2025, 20:00 ·Prague, Czechia 🌶️ Spicy

Awesome

Today, when my boyfriend came home, I was crying and told him I was pregnant. His immediate response was, "Awesome! Pregnant girls are always horny and we won't need protection for the next few months!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 422 You deserved it 197

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Shattered · 27 August 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Unreliable narrator?

Today, my wife's sister called with a confession. My wife never wanted children, but I did, but I thought she'd miscarried the first two, so we stopped trying. Her sister confessed that she'd actually aborted them and lied to me. We picked out names for them and she aborted them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 791 You deserved it 162

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Anonymous · 27 August 2025, 00:00 ·Saint Paul, United States

Date night to remember

Today, I'd planned a low key date night with my partner for tonight. I told them about it last night. When they got home, they asked why I was dressed up. When I mentioned the date night, they just shrugged and said "Oh, OK" then made a joke about my lipstick. They didn’t change out of their grubby clothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 379 You deserved it 169

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Alone · 26 August 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Nope, no thanks

Today, three members of my five-person polycule moved away, leaving myself and one other girl. I really liked her, so I was okay… until she split because she "didn't want to be in a boring straight relationship." FML

I agree, your life sucks 270 You deserved it 404

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unemployed · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Late

Today, I drove two and a half hours to a job interview. The interviewer never showed up or called. I sat in the hotel lobby waiting for an hour and a half. Even the hotel staff said they felt sorry for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 244 You deserved it 2 769

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Anonymous · 24 August 2025, 15:00 ·Ireland

Bye!

Today, I was finishing up an internship so while driving past the other interns I said, "Bye losers!" as a joke. It turns out that the CEO was with them and fully heard me yell that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 You deserved it 690

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Anonymous · 24 August 2025, 12:00 ·United States

Human interface

Today, at a supermarket self-checkout, I loudly complained to the machine, “Why won’t you scan, you useless idiot?” An employee walked up behind me and said, “You need to press ‘Start.’” FML

I agree, your life sucks 123 You deserved it 551

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ohgod · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

How appropriate

Today, I found out my husband had bought my one year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 953 You deserved it 8 060

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But I love sex · 21 August 2025, 03:00 ·Prague, Czechia 🌶️ Spicy

Fun fun fun

Today, I asked my boyfriend why we never have sex anymore. He said, "Honestly, you lie there with your arms balled up against your chest, you don't moan or give any indication that you're enjoying things. It makes me really uncomfortable." FML

I agree, your life sucks 170 You deserved it 1 159

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Anonymous · 20 August 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Can't take my eyes off you

Today, while changing into shorts because it’s scorching hot here, my four year-old found a jar of my Dad's ashes. I came out to see her feet prints in it on the kitchen floor. She'd dumped the whole jar out and was playing in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 450 You deserved it 205

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·United States

What are you doing?

Today, I was on the phone with a client, when the gum I was casually chewing fell out of my mouth and down my shirt. While I was trying to dig it out, two of our newest customers walked into the lobby to see what looked like me fondling my breasts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 640 You deserved it 12 970

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Anonymous · 19 August 2025, 09:00 ·Seattle, United States

Average office interaction

Today, I tried to compliment a coworker on her new haircut, saying, “Wow, it makes you look so much younger!” She raised an eyebrow and replied, “You mean I looked old before?” My brain short-circuited and I followed up with, “No, no, you just… looked older.” Everyone within earshot laughed while I wanted to crawl under the desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 368 You deserved it 250

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Ethan · 18 August 2025, 22:00 ·United Kingdom

Good boy nonetheless

Today, I took my new puppy to the dog park, proud of my cute little fluff ball. Instead of behaving nicely like the other dogs present, my dog ignored every toy, treat and friendly dog, and ran straight into a pond. He emerged soaked, covered in mud, and proudly dropped a muddy stick at my feet like it was a trophy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182 You deserved it 414

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Anonymous · 18 August 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Work husbands and wives…

Today, I (35) have a crush on my supervisor (55) [we're both managers). I cannot get my mind off them. They are married and have kids my age. It's not just looks, but how they treat me, feels like they actually respect me, which I don’t feel like people do. I know nothing will happen between us, but can't stop thinking about them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 245 You deserved it 361

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lordoftheweird · 18 August 2025, 03:00 ·Kamloops, Canada

Charming

Today, my grandmother tried to lecture me about discrimination. This is the same woman who lies about her grandchildren's race, and tried to convince a Jewish person that the Jews were responsible for the Holocaust. FML

I agree, your life sucks 440 You deserved it 109

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jfc · 18 August 2025, 00:00 ·Amsterdam, Netherlands

Superhero stuff

Today, I bumped into the bitchy mean girl who bullied me mercilessly throughout high school, leaving deep emotional scars. When I told my boyfriend who she was, he picked her up, carried her out of the store, and threw her into a puddle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 385 You deserved it 239

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Stevie · 17 August 2025, 22:00 ·Boston, United States

Naughty boy

Today, I had a date over for the first time. Everything was going well until my dog decided to wedge himself between us on the couch, growl at my date, and then pee on his shoes. My date laughed it off, but my dog seemed to be giving me a smug “I warned you” look for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218 You deserved it 264

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Anonymous · 17 August 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Local dog catcher

Today, I saw what I thought was my neighbor’s dog running loose down the street. I chased him for a full block, shouting, “Buster! Come here, buddy!” I finally caught him, only for an angry stranger to yell, “That’s my dog! And his name is Kevin!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 357 You deserved it 140

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Anonymous · 16 August 2025, 20:00 ·Cape Town, South Africa 🌶️ Spicy

Shifty

Today, after six months of online flirting, we finally met. Three coffee dates turned into getting some in the back seat. Long story short, the coffee shop owner showed his boyfriend the videos of us hooking up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 You deserved it 429

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What have I done? · 16 August 2025, 12:00 ·Amsterdam, Netherlands

As it should

Today, I was so envious of my thin, pretty, genetically perfect sister getting a date that I lied to my mom, saying she was a prostitute. I made a fake escort page and used her pics. My mom lost her shit and kicked my sister out, but now the guilt is eating me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 You deserved it 1 605

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Anonymous · 16 August 2025, 03:00 ·United Kingdom 🌶️ Spicy

Promises, promises

Today, I was feeling frisky so I promised my husband he’d get some at bedtime. He promised not to hold his breath. When I asked what he meant, he told me it’s been 83 days since our last shag, and in that time we almost had sex 16 times, only for me to change my mind, hence not holding his breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 You deserved it 851

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Anonymous · 14 August 2025, 20:00 ·Seattle, United States

Classic

Today, I met my new boss and went for a confident handshake. Somehow, we both missed completely and ended up awkwardly grabbing each other’s thumbs. Neither of us corrected it, so we just shook hands like we were in a masonic lodge. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341 You deserved it 111

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Anonymous · 14 August 2025, 15:00 ·United States

Nervous wreck

Today, I kept running into the same guy in every aisle of the supermarket. By the fifth time, I nervously joked, “I guess we’re destined to be soulmates.” He gave me a deadpan look and replied, “I work here.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 170 You deserved it 478

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