Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

You can't hurry love

Today, my grandma wasn't feeling well, so I went to her house to check on her. After about 20 minutes, I knew she was feeling better when she looked at me and said, "So, do you have a boyfriend yet? I pray every night that I get to live long enough to see you with a boyfriend." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 681 You deserved it 4 135

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Anonymous · 11 July 2025, 22:00 ·United Kingdom

Heart to heart

Today, my sister answered texts from my girlfriend as though she was me. My girlfriend was glad we had a real heart to heart, even if it was just texts, while I was busy at work. I have no idea what they talked about and I’m too cowardly to break her heart by telling her it was my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90 You deserved it 465

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sorryaboutthat · 11 July 2025, 15:00 ·Cleveland, United States

Accounting

Today, because I forgot to fill out a form, I accidentally held up payroll for the whole organization. Oops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130 You deserved it 524

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Andy · 10 July 2025, 12:00 ·Australia

Daddy!

Today, I went to pick up my niece from daycare. As I walked past the gates, a little kid yelled, “Daddy’s here!” and ran to hug me. His actual dad was right behind me, clearly very confused, while the daycare workers glared at me like they were about to call the cops on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401 You deserved it 80

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Anonymous · 8 July 2025, 15:00 ·Reno, United States

Awww, thanks sweetie

Today, I was in a grocery store when a little boy ran up out of nowhere, hugged my leg, then said, “Mommy!” I looked down and said, “Hey there, kiddo!” Right then, his actual mom walked up and gave me a look that seemed like it could set me on fire. The kid then looked up at me and said, “You’re prettier than my real mom.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 441 You deserved it 81

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Susan01 · 8 July 2025, 09:00 ·Boston, United States

Brainrot

Today, I was in a serious meeting with my boss and a client when I remembered a dumb meme my friend sent me last night. I couldn’t stop myself from snorting. Everyone stopped and looked at me. My boss said, “Is something funny?” Nope. Not anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114 You deserved it 529

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Anonymous · 8 July 2025, 00:00 ·Brooklyn, United States

Subway creeper

Today, I was creeping on a girl, looking at her tattoos and getting stimulated while she was sitting down in the carriage next to ours. From the looks of it, it looked like she was looking at her phone, but she was actually staring dead at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 You deserved it 972

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Anonymous · 7 July 2025, 22:00 ·United States

Sent from my beach towel

Today, I meant to send a cheeky “I’m out of the office” reply to my team but instead hit “reply all” on an email chain with my entire company, including my boss, HR, and some clients. The message included a joke about “sleeping through meetings” that was NOT work-appropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107 You deserved it 662

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Anonymous · 6 July 2025, 20:00 ·Schelle, Belgium

Don't follow your dreams, kids!

Today, after years of study and hard work, I fulfilled my long time dream of becoming a neurologist. Too bad it took me so long to figure out I absolutely hate working in a hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410 You deserved it 138

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Anonymous · 5 July 2025, 09:00 ·Healdsburg, United States

Sharing my journey

Today, my partner has been losing weight to get slimmer and took a picture of the scale. He posted it onto his Facebook and tagged me in it. After two hours we got messages from his family to look in the reflection of the glass on the scale and I was nude in the background. Thanks, Hun! FML

I agree, your life sucks 458 You deserved it 145

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Clumsy · 5 July 2025, 00:00 ·Paris, France

Smooth moves

Today, I went to my usual cafe and ordered a caramel latte. As I handed back my empty cup, I gestured to compliment the barista… and knocked over a perfectly balanced tray of macarons. They scattered across the counter and floor like colorful grenades, and I spent the next 10 minutes on my hands and knees scooping pastry shells. FML

I agree, your life sucks 341 You deserved it 205

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Anonymous · 4 July 2025, 15:00 ·Newport, United States

Pay attention

Today, I was at a busy restaurant and, in a rush, walked into the men’s restroom instead of the women’s. I was so focused on my phone that I didn’t notice the stares, or the guy at the sink giving me the confused glare. When I finally looked up and saw the urinals, I practically sprinted out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 You deserved it 650

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Anonymous · 3 July 2025, 20:00 ·Edison, United States

Enjoy what you enjoy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage with a back massager, and as a joke I put it up against his butthole. He moaned louder than I've ever heard him moan and begged me to put it back. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 137 You deserved it 614

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Anonymous · 3 July 2025, 12:00 ·Sacramento, United States

The more you know

Today, I got stuck in an elevator with a stranger. We made awkward small talk until the elevator started smelling like something was burning. Turns out, the elevator was overheating. We had to spend 30 minutes stuck there, and I learned way too much about this guy’s weird foot fungus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402 You deserved it 62

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Anonymous · 2 July 2025, 15:00 ·Los Angeles, United States

Where are we going?

Today, I got into an Uber, excited for the date I was going to. After about 20 minutes, I had a confused conversation with the driver, because it seemed like we were going to the wrong address. I checked the app, I'd booked a ride to my ex’s place out of habit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 You deserved it 631

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Alan Alda's Dog · 2 July 2025, 09:00 ·Montréal, Canada

This isn't relevant to my interests

Today, I wanted to call my mom to ask for advice but called my boss instead. I panicked and ended up talking about weekend plans like nothing was wrong. She now knows way too much about my personal life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 You deserved it 466

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Too Fat4 U · 2 July 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Thank you for your service

Today, I heard the guy I love talk to a friend of his. He was telling his friend how he appreciates all my attention, affection, and random gestures such as buying him lunch sometimes, but he’ll never see me in a romantic way because I’m “too fat for his taste.” I was basically used the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 511 You deserved it 269

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Billie · 1 July 2025, 15:00 ·Glasgow, United Kingdom

Movie night

Today, I went on a first date with a guy who insisted we watch a film at his place. I agreed, despite feeling wary of a potential trap. Halfway through the film, he fell asleep and started snoring. When he woke up, he blamed me for “keeping him up all night.” I was there for less than an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 493 You deserved it 98

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Anonymous · 1 July 2025, 12:00 ·United States

You made your bed…

Today, I’m being blamed for being an unsupportive wife and breaking up the family after I left my husband. Let’s see: he was cheating, she got him hooked on heroin, he now has a crippling addiction, and he cleaned out our shared bank account. How the fuck should I support that? FML

I agree, your life sucks 735 You deserved it 71

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Anonymous · 1 July 2025, 00:00 ·Marseille, France

Third wheel

Today, I figured out why the guy I secretly love became so friendly with me. It appears that we became friends so that he could get closer to my very best friend and flirt with her. They’re now happily together and my best friend tells me all day long about him, and how they made out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 502 You deserved it 131

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Anonymous · 27 June 2025, 22:00 ·Hefei, China

Almost there

Today, the National College Entrance Examination results were released. I only got 643 points. Far fewer than my expectation. Now I have to prepare for one more exam when I enter the college in September to try my luck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 221 You deserved it 249

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Anonymous · 27 June 2025, 20:00 ·Miami, United States

Brain freeze

Today, I realized my wallet was missing right as I went to pay for my groceries. I frantically searched the store, retraced my steps, and finally found it. It was inside a freezer, where I'd apparently placed it in when I was grabbing ice cream five minutes earlier. FML

I agree, your life sucks 151 You deserved it 409

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Anonymous · 27 June 2025, 12:00 ·Portland, United States

Mr Hyde comes out at night

Today, I woke up to 20 unread messages from my friend asking why I sent her stuff like, “I hate you” and “Get lost” at 3 a.m. Turns out I sleep-texted during a nightmare. Now I have to grovel and apologize for something I don't even remember doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401 You deserved it 168

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oblivious idiot · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff

Social cues

Today, I was playing Badminton in P.E, and I was paired with a particularly pretty girl, who for some reason kept asking stupid questions that we both knew the answers to. I've only now just realized that she was trying to initiate conversation with me. This is why I have no friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 964 You deserved it 7 444

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Da Boss · This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff ·Calgary, Canada

Not a good look

Today, my coworker and I agreed to come clean and tell our fellow employees that we have been secretly dating for a while. Before we could, I received a promotion. I'm now his boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 280 You deserved it 2 071

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Anonymous · 25 June 2025, 03:00 ·Rockford, United States

Intricate design

Today, my boyfriend proposed. He gave me a really unique ring that I absolutely loved… at first. When I showed it off to my friends, one of them laughed so hard that she started crying, and said it looks just like a vagina. She's right, and now I can't unsee it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443 You deserved it 137

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aw jeez · 25 June 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Any advice?

Today, we are on our honeymoon, at a beautiful resort, and my wife has been in bed crying for two days. She won't talk to me, and every time I come in, she sobs harder and starts hyperventilating. This can't be a good sign. FML

I agree, your life sucks 620 You deserved it 112

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Just got friendzoned · 24 June 2025, 09:00 ·United States

Trip of a lifetime

Today, on a vacation with my best friend who I’m secretly in love with, I was dressed to the nines, and felt confident and upbeat about myself. Not once has he made a move on me the entire time, not even in the hotel room we both shared. At the end of the trip he told me I’m “such a great friend.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 142 You deserved it 711

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Not Carrie Bradshaw · 23 June 2025, 12:00 ·New York, United States

Fair and unbalanced

Today, I tried to be efficient by balancing my coffee, phone, and laptop on the subway. One wrong move later, I had coffee all over my laptop, my shoes, and a very unimpressed stranger’s coat. They gave me a look that said, “Why do you even exist?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 You deserved it 603

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Anonymous · 23 June 2025, 00:00 ·United States

Never mix business with pleasure

Today, I was stuck in an elevator with my workplace crush for 10 minutes. Trying to break the silence, I nervously said, “I’ve always thought you were amazing.” She smiled and whispered, “I thought you were the new maintenance guy.” I work in marketing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381 You deserved it 173

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