Anonymous · 21 April 2026, 03:00 ·Cardiff, United Kingdom

Close shave

Today, as a barista, I tried to be quick during the morning rush. Someone asked for oat milk, so I grabbed the carton without checking. It wasn’t oat milk, it was the cleaning solution bottle we keep under the counter, same shape, same colour cap. Luckily I noticed before serving it, but my manager watched the entire thing in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180 You deserved it 399

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Cass · 20 April 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Worst friend

Today, my best friend announced that he has a girlfriend now and we’ll be interacting less often. When I protested, he said, “Why are you acting like this? You rejected me when I asked you to be my girlfriend and told me we were just friends, did you not?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 129 You deserved it 912

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Anonymous · 20 April 2026, 12:00 ·United States

FIXED

Today, I pulled an all-nighter to finish an essay. I submitted it one minute before the deadline. Later, I opened the file to double-check and realized I'd uploaded my rough draft, containing notes like “THIS PART MAKES NO SENSE, FIX LATER.” The professor then replied, “I agree with your assessments.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 145 You deserved it 415

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Why Universe? Why!? · 20 April 2026, 00:00 ·Makati City, Philippines

Many such cases?

Today, my girlfriend's mom and my dad met for the first time. We discovered that they are each other's exes, and not only that, my girlfriend, whom I have been dating, hanging out, confiding with, being intimate with, shared each other's first times, and plan to marry, is actually my half-sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 644 You deserved it 68

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Hollaback girl

Today, I was riding in my friend's car. We passed by a group of cute guys standing by the curb with their skateboards so we slowed down to whistle at them. We then noticed the ambulance taking their friend away on a stretcher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 548 You deserved it 37 869

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Anonymous · 19 April 2026, 15:00 ·United Kingdom

Get out

Today, my husband threw my brother out for wearing his dressing gown and eating his snacks, saying it was the final straw for his lazy, thieving, unemployed ass. I support my husband obviously, but now my parents are mad at me because my brother moved back in with them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436 You deserved it 117

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Anonymous · 19 April 2026, 12:00 ·United States

Drip drip drip

Today, I got a surprise when a drop of icy cold water hit the back of my neck. I wondered how this could be, as my dad had put in foam insulation on the pipes overhead in my room. It turns out there's one tiny spot that he couldn't insulate due to it being weirdly shaped and hard to reach, which is sweating now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 331 You deserved it 58

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Ew blood · 16 April 2026, 15:00 ·Naaldwijk, The Netherlands 🌶️ Spicy

Under pressure

Today, at my boyfriend's request, I put on a tennis dress for him. He was so turned on that he got a massive nosebleed and bled all over the place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407 You deserved it 126

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Anonymous · 16 April 2026, 12:00 ·United States

The Unmatchmaker

Today, my parents found out that I separately convinced them not to get back together, and now they're not speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 You deserved it 645

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Anonymous · 15 April 2026, 12:00 ·Denver, United States

Newbie

Today, at my first office job, I tried to casually join a conversation about weekend plans. I said, “Yeah, I love hiking there,” even though I’d never been. Someone asked, “Oh, which trail did you do?” I panicked and said, “The main one?” Turns out there are six, and they all started debating them while I stood there nodding like I belonged. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 You deserved it 608

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Tech BS · 15 April 2026, 00:00 ·United States

Thirty demons

Today, I’m a high school teacher and I finally learned how to use the smartboard properly. I connected my laptop to demonstrate a lesson… and projected the last thing I had open: a half-written email complaining about how loud this exact class is. Thirty teenagers read it in silence. One kid raised his hand and said, “Fair.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 152 You deserved it 430

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Anonymous · 14 April 2026, 22:00 ·Austin, United States

I should stop talking

Today, while working retail, I spent 10 minutes helping a customer pick out the perfect outfit. At checkout, trying to be friendly, I said, “This will look great on you, it’s very forgiving.” He paused then said, “Forgiving of what?” I had no recovery. Just silence, a receipt, and a mortifying interaction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 You deserved it 595

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whyyyyy · 10 April 2026, 20:00 ·Virginia Beach, United States 🌶️ Spicy

Not very romantic

Today, my husband read my texts and discovered that I get a laugh out of making him beg for sex. He handed me a printout of the texts and coldly said, "Either we're going down the list of everything you've said no to, or I find a side piece. Make a choice." FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 You deserved it 1 018

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SilentAF · 10 April 2026, 09:00 ·United States

Unrequited

Today, I was working up the courage to tell my male bestie of three years that I was starting to fall in love with him. I told him, “Hey, I wanna get something off my chest, do you mind?” He instantly panicked and said, “Nope, please don’t say it.” and asked me to leave. He never let me speak and changed the subject. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402 You deserved it 147

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Just drive · 9 April 2026, 22:00 ·United States

Keep your eyes on the road

Today, as an Uber driver, I try to make small talk with passengers by guessing where they were from based on their accent. I got it completely wrong. This one said, “I grew up two streets from here.” The rest of the ride was silent except for my GPS telling me where to go, which felt appropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 You deserved it 494

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Anonymous · 8 April 2026, 22:00 ·Canada

Bad day

Today, I’m a nurse on a 12-hour shift and finally got a 5-minute break to inhale a yogurt. I absentmindedly grabbed what I thought was my spoon from my pocket. It was actually a thermometer cover. A patient watched me freeze mid-bite, slowly process my mistake, and then whispered, “Rough day?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 432 You deserved it 81

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·New Ulm, United States

Been there, done that

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 324 You deserved it 4 682

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Pizza? · 8 April 2026, 15:00 ·Portland, United States

Training wheels

Today, I’m learning to cook and invited friends over to prove I’m improving. I timed everything perfectly… or so I thought. I realized I’d never actually turned the oven on. We stood around a beautifully plated tray of room-temperature lasagna while I said, “It just needs… a bit more time.” Two hours later, we ordered pizza. FML

I agree, your life sucks 170 You deserved it 380

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oops · 7 April 2026, 15:00 ·San Francisco, United States

Commited

Today, I’m a junior developer and I'd pushed what I thought was a minor fix right before logging off on Friday. Monday morning, I walked into a message: “Site down since Saturday.” My “tiny change” broke a key function. The whole team was already in a call when I joined, and I had to say, "Yeah, um… that was my commit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 186 You deserved it 469

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·Canada

Rising Damp

Today, I'm the only one at work in a small office. The water tank sprung a leak. Guess who had to call the boss and get instructions via cell phone to turn it off? I can't even leave the office to change my soaked clothes, because I need to wait for an important phone call. Seven hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 490 You deserved it 2 525

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lolwut · This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff ·Albany, United States

You never know

Today, I saw my teacher using her phone in the middle of class, so to joke around with her, seeing as we're on pretty good terms, I said: "Using your phone in class? For shame." She looks me in the eyes and says, "Would it be OK if I told you I'm arranging my father's funeral?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 001 You deserved it 18 753

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Lipstick drama

Today, my girlfriend of three years broke up with me because she found a lot of red lipstick on my neck. The red lipstick was from her lipstick because she came over in the middle of the night when she was really drunk, then left. She refuses to listen to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 872 You deserved it 3 273

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·United States

Nice try

Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 381 You deserved it 9 406

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spleechick · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Great job!

Today, I decided to bleach my belly hair. I bought some body hair bleach at the drug store, and I used it exactly as instructed. When I removed it, I was horrified to see my belly was about three shades lighter than the rest of my body. The hair was still exactly the same darkness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 488 You deserved it 25 004

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S. from 45B · 13 February 2026, 15:00

Good neighbors

Today, I moved into a new place. I wanted to be a good neighbor so I baked banana bread and knocked on the door across the hall. The woman looked terrified, said “No thank you,” and closed the door. Building security later asked why I was “soliciting food.” Turns out there’s been a string of fake delivery scams in the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397 You deserved it 66

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Anonymous · 29 January 2026, 20:00

Lonesome tonight

Today, I joined a dating website for the first time in 12 years and spent an hour carefully crafting my profile. Ten minutes after posting, my sibling texted me screenshots. I’d linked my profile to Facebook, where my bio appeared under my real name for half my extended family. Aunt Linda left a heart reaction. FML

I agree, your life sucks 281 You deserved it 274

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff ·Canada

Out of shape

Today, I decided to work out. Being too embarrassed to run in public, I instead ran in circles in my basement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 020 You deserved it 15 309

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Shopper · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·United States

It's not what you think

Today, I was shopping with a friend. We snuck into the same fitting room so we could give our opinions on each other's clothes. The suspicious saleswoman knocked on the door and asked how many people were in our room. I quickly answered, "It's OK. She's just watching." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 610 You deserved it 7 874

121 comments Share

Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Oh, hai Mark!

Today, I met my new psychologist for the first time. Expecting it to be someone I wouldn’t know, the door opens and out walks a man I hooked up with once. What makes it worse was he pissed my bed that night. I never called him back or spoke to him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 827 You deserved it 341

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idiotwithaface · This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff ·United States

Nice try

Today, I recently graduated from high school and I went to a college party. I met these girls and told them I graduated college already, to sound cool. I then heard one of them say, "I went to middle school with you, and I was in your math class." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 570 You deserved it 62 699

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