Lonely · 20 July 2026, 00:00 ·Portland, United States

Hobby lobby

Today, I signed up for a pottery class because I wanted a relaxing hobby, but also because I saw the movie "Ghost" recently and it looked chill. My first attempt at a bowl flew off the wheel, hit a shelf, and cracked someone’s finished mug. The instructor nodded at my clay-covered hands and arms, and said, “You’ve got… energy.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 262 You deserved it 131

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Anonymous · 19 July 2026, 22:00 ·United States

Curtain call

Today, I was part of a community theater play as a prop helper. I was supposed to slide a fake letter under a door, but I got overenthusiastic and kicked it into the audience. The actor improvised, but the crowd laughed harder at my blunder than the actual play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106 You deserved it 315

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Anonymous · 19 July 2026, 20:00 ·United States

Let them eat cake

Today, I brought a “safe” store-bought cake to a potluck and dropped it on the sidewalk while getting out of the car. I showed up anyway, carrying the box like it was still fine. It was not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 You deserved it 303

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Shame

Today, I was so disgusted by my own body, I took a shower in the dark so I wouldn't have to look at myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 130 You deserved it 684

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Curious George · 19 July 2026, 15:00 ·Denver, United States

Today's mystery item

Today, I found an old USB drive and spent an hour trying to open it because I was sure it had important files on it. It contained one blurry photo of my thumb and a Word doc titled “Do not open", which was actually blank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 119 You deserved it 263

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Anna backwards is annA · 19 July 2026, 12:00 ·Saarbrücken, Germany

Not a morning person

Today, I woke up early for work, then yanked my phone by the charger cord on my nightstand to look at it. I gravely underestimated the force by which I pulled the charger and the whiplash of my phone popped me square in the nose. Hard. I have a bruise now. I hope people don't think my boyfriend is a domestic abuser. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101 You deserved it 284

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Parked · 19 July 2026, 09:00 ·Hamilton, Canada

Free Parking!

Today, I took the last parking spot in a crowded lot, got out feeling victorious, then immediately stepped in a puddle deep enough to soak my foot all the way through to my sock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 305 You deserved it 108

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tracey · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

Life in the fast line

Today, I got pulled over for going 85 mph in a 60 mph zone on a highway in the Everglades. There were cars passing both the cop and me as I was being pulled over. The cop decided I was easiest to catch since I was the slowest of the bunch, even though the other cars were topping 100 mph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 387 You deserved it 17 976

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Unfit · 19 July 2026, 03:00 ·Canada

Don't tread on me

Today, I bought a used treadmill and set it up in my room. I switched it on, it made one heroic whir, died before I could even get on it, then it tripped the fuse box. I was left in the dark, holding a sneaker, while my roommate upstairs yelled, “Is that normal? What've you done this time?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 279 You deserved it 105

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ringring · 19 July 2026, 00:00 ·Birmingham, United Kingdom

Boo!

Today, I sat through a dentist's appointment convinced my phone was on silent. It was not. My (loud) ringtone went off at the worst possible moment, the dentist was rattled like it was a jump-scare in a movie, and had to stop and wait while I apologised with half my face numbed and stretched open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 You deserved it 319

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Anonymous · 18 July 2026, 22:00 ·United Kingdom

Freaky family

Today, I missed my daughter’s engagement because her cousin has a crush on her and was planning to ruin it. So while my daughter was agreeing to get married, my sister and I were in the car park with the jealous little shit in a headlock, whilst screaming that he loved her and that it’s not fair. He’s 27. FML

I agree, your life sucks 545 You deserved it 70

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Douglas · 18 July 2026, 20:00 ·Melboune, Australia

Master the blade

Today, I tried to be helpful at a family dinner and offered to carve the roast. The knife slipped, the serving tray tipped. My uncle caught it with his bare hand like a movie hero. Everyone praised him for dinner-saving reflexes while I quietly sat down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 105 You deserved it 312

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StillTooYoung · This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff ·Louisville, United States

Mr Commitment

Today, I was discussing with my husband about how it was time I stopped taking birth control so we could have a baby. He looked at me and said sincerely, "We're a little young to be having kids, don't you think?" He's 35 and I'm 32. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 065 You deserved it 5 311

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Michelle · 18 July 2026, 15:00 ·United States

Grow up

Today, my 21 year-old daughter called crying because she was in pain due to a wisdom tooth. She was angry because she thinks I should have called the dentist for her. She can't get an appointment immediately, so now refuses to celebrate her birthday four weeks away. I told her that she's an adult now. Still my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343 You deserved it 146

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Lost · 18 July 2026, 12:00 ·Paris, France

Where am I?

Today, out of desperation, I had to fight my social anxiety in order ask a stranger for directions in a new city. She gave me a detailed answer, and I thanked her, then walked the wrong way for 15 minutes because I was too embarrassed to admit I’d understood none of it past the first sentence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129 You deserved it 326

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Anonymous · 18 July 2026, 09:00 ·New York, United States

Classic

Today, I was proud of myself for remembering my wallet, keys and phone before leaving for the airport. I got all the way to security before realizing I’d left my passport on the kitchen table, right next to the travel mug I also forgot to bring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 You deserved it 374

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lifestinks · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·United States

I'm pissed

Today, my work finally hired someone to replace some leaky pipes. I work in the basement by myself, and just as I walked under the newly-fixed pipes, I got soaked with what appeared to be water. Apparently it was connected to a toilet. My boss couldn't find a replacement, so they made me work covered in piss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 755 You deserved it 2 410

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Lenore · 18 July 2026, 03:00 ·Belgium

Dragging of feet

Today, I googled which documents we needed to provide to sell our marital home. It took me three minutes and I have to complete list. My ex-husband, who's been complaining we have to sell as soon as possible, is ignoring the list, because he bought a book on houses, and wants to read it first. He hasn't read a book in 15 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 327 You deserved it 57

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Matt · 18 July 2026, 00:00 ·Wilmington, United States

Geezer

Today, I went out to eat with some friends. I ordered a cocktail with my meal. I got carded, but had left my ID at home. Instead, I took my hat off to show that I'm bald. It worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 317 You deserved it 100

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fucking bastard · 17 July 2026, 22:00 ·Newport News, United States

Findom

Today, my husband got paid. I checked our bank account and was shocked to see we'd only received $300. I called him, insisting that there was some mistake. He said he'd started a new bank account in his name so he could manage our money on his own, and the $300 was my "allowance". I now want a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 401 You deserved it 320

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Dementia?? · 17 July 2026, 20:00 ·United Kingdom

Many such cases!

Today, I walked into a room and completely forgot why I was there. I then left, remembered why, walked back in, and immediately forgot again. I'm beginning to wonder if I need to undergo cognitive tests or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 277 You deserved it 78

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Emily · This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff ·United States

Resting bitch face

Today, I had to explain to this really intimidating girl that I wasn't giving her a dirty look, and that it was just my face at rest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 669 You deserved it 3 067

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Anonymous · 17 July 2026, 15:00 ·Dallas, United States

Creeper

Today, I accidentally liked a social media post from 2017 while scrolling through someone's profile. I panicked and blocked him. Then I remembered that blocking him wouldn't stop the notification from being seen, so I just shut my phone off and unsuccessfully tried to convince myself that it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 You deserved it 347

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drunk n high · 17 July 2026, 12:00 ·Reno, United States

Brain melting

Today, while stumbling drunkenly down a trail, I saw a sign that said "Watch for Falling Rocks." I spent the next five minutes confused and wondering how I was supposed to know which rocks were planning to fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 You deserved it 390

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Anonymous · 17 July 2026, 09:00 ·United States

Ripped

Today, I’m sick and tired of women disrespecting my relationship. They come up and openly flirt with my man right in front of me, because no one thinks we’re together. I know it’s because he’s ripped like a Greek god while I’m 300lbs. He loves me as I am, I just wish other people would get it too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 419 You deserved it 212

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Anonymous · This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff ·Singapore

One big happy family

Today, my grandfather was counting all the grandchildren he had and saying how fortunate he was to have all of us. When I pointed out that he'd forgotten to count me, he turned and said, "You're adopted, you don't count as a real grandchild." FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 834 You deserved it 4 585

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Jimmy044 · 17 July 2026, 03:00 ·Adelaide, Australia

Trash

Today, I got myself locked out of my apartment whilst taking the trash out. I was wearing pyjamas, holding a banana, and I'd left my phone inside. My neighbours learned a lot about me, seeing as no one recognised me and I had to explain that I actually live in the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185 You deserved it 188

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Anonymous · 17 July 2026, 00:00 ·Leominster, United States

Make it stop

Today, it sucks so bad because I have fibromyalgia, which is a chronic pain there is no cure for. Right now I hurt so bad that I want to go to the hospital to stop the pain, but they won’t do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 336 You deserved it 58

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Annie S. · 16 July 2026, 22:00 ·New York, United States

No fun allowed

Today, my boyfriend and toddler little sister were happily being silly, with each other going "WHOA!!!" and acting like they were being blown around by a huge gust of wind… every time, right after I'd sneezed, which I have been doing all morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271 You deserved it 116

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Anonymous · 16 July 2026, 20:00 ·Windsor, Canada

Some mysteries remain unsolved

Today, I picked up a receipt in a parking lot and noticed someone had spent $437 on decorative gourds. My entire day was ruined by questions that would never be answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96 You deserved it 314

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