Nearly FMLs

By Abandoned Girlfriend - 28/08/2019 12:39

So my birthday is tomorrow and instead of being spoilt my boyfriend chooses his friends baby shower over me, happy birthday to me.

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 107

By Anonymous - 27/08/2019 14:12

Today, my crush sent me a text to hangout. I was so nervous about texting back that I shit myself.

I agree, your life sucks 109

You deserved it 46

By fladoodler - 27/08/2019 04:55

Today, i moved into an apartment with my boyfriend. Everything was nice and going fine until we walked in and found out the AC is broken, we’re missing a mattress, and the toilet seat is ripped off. The best part? Roaches are EVERYWHERE at night and so are spiders. I’m EXTREMELY arachnophobic...fml.

I agree, your life sucks 108

You deserved it 15

By Millie - 27/08/2019 01:19

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and forgot that I’d moved my bed around. I tried to get out of bed straight into a wall, banging my head real hard. Now I don’t want to sleep in case I have a concussion... FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 25

By Anonymous - 23/08/2019 07:13

Today, I lost my student ID during the move-in process. Used it to get into the dorms and the rest was history. I can tell college will be great. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 21

By "Nicholas Calvano" - 22/08/2019 04:20

Today an A/C valve failed in our new lab in the ceiling and flooded my lab near 500k of equipment. Then another piece of equipment failed and has to be shipped back for 10k worth of maintenance. The final cherry on top the large 10k air compressor for our lab stopped working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 7

By Pablo Chacon - 22/08/2019 04:00

Today I was dumped via text message after yesterday telling me how much she loved me and today was the day I had just got her very expensive engagement ring FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 5

By "a816090" - 21/08/2019 02:40

Today, I realized the love of my life only talks to me when he needs attention and is lonely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 112

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 20/08/2019 19:07

Today my dad got mad at me because he found out I smoke weed...I literally just walked in on him harvesting a weed plant that he grew...FML

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 26

By Anonymous - 17/08/2019 02:50

Today, while borrowing my dads car for a few days while mine is getting repairs, another lady and I backed into each other. Except she drove away, leaving a nice scratch on the bumper.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 15

By Anonymous - 15/08/2019 22:44

Today, I have no Friends. The only Text Messages I get are from Family Members or My Pharmacy Telling me My that My Prescriptions are ready. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 18

By "millie14225" - 15/08/2019 16:46

Today, as with every other day for the past 2 years, my husband said "I will never leave your side" when I told him that both my therapist and I agree that need to live alone and the marriage is not working. He also couldn't understand why I didn't want to spend our anniversary celebrating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87

You deserved it 29

By kaputt - 15/08/2019 09:08

Today, I am in danger of losing my job because of health problems. I’m constantly sick due to extreme stress in my job, but I need the money so I can feed and house my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 9

By hail science cont’d - 15/08/2019 07:49

Today after my mom’s ridiculous reaction to my cancer diagnosis I decided to gather my immediate family and inform them of the situation. Instead of being supportive my sister burst into hysterical tears and sobbed about what a hardship it’d be for her to have to raise my kids. I’m still here! Fml

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 9

By amanda - 14/08/2019 19:02

Today, I took the nastiest shit of my life. The smell was bad enough to make me gag, so I lit a candle in the bathroom. It didn’t seem to help, as my mom went into the bathroom immediately after me and screamed “Jesus Christ!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 28

By Anonymous - 14/08/2019 03:39

Today, i had a threesome with 2 fellow employees. One of them being my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13

You deserved it 189

By Anonymous - 13/08/2019 13:18 - India - Pune

Today, it is my 10th year anniversary with my partner. It is also the day that my boss has blasted us for our work which is shoddy and delayed. We submitted it to him over a week ago but he went to Thailand on a vacation and returned Today. He now wants us to make over 100 major changes and send it by Today. Happy Anniversary to us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 11/08/2019 17:34

Today, my parents have been sitting in front of the TV, which is right outside the bathroom, for the past 3 days. As a result, I have been constipated since they started. I can’t explain to them that they need to move so I can poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 91

By Anonymous - 09/08/2019 21:03 - United States

Today, my ex liked my Facebook status. I creeped, saw he was engaged, and looked at his fiance's facebook. I then accidentally liked a picture of her engagement ring. It was posted a year ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46

You deserved it 90

By Anonymous - 06/08/2019 21:05

Today, my colleague is pissed at me for getting her fired: I told our boss that she said she really didnt want this job and would much prefer to get unemployment benefits. Which she will now, because she got fired instead of having to quit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 166

By Anonymous - 06/08/2019 21:03

Today it is really hot in the bedroom because my boyfriend is afraid of bugs and wont open the window more than a crack. I ask: If I install a bug screen, will you then open the window all the way? His answer is no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 17

By Anonymous - 06/08/2019 20:24 - Germany - Wuppertal

Today my tummy looks like a basketball and I feel so stuffed that I can hardly breathe. Pretty normal in your third trimester, right? The thing is, Im not pregnant. I havent eaten much either. Actually I just came home from the gym. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 06/08/2019 20:04

Today I ride my new trekking bike to work and get mud splattered all over the white pants I had in the basket. When I ask the salesman why the manufacturer didnt install a longer mudguard to prevent this, he replies: It just looks nicer this way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 30

By Anonymous - 05/08/2019 16:16

Today, My boyfriend dropped me off at my friend's house to hang out. He then proceeded to break up with me over text and block me on all platforms right after. We've never argued, and he's never sat me down to talk about anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 9

By smartass53748 - 03/08/2019 20:11

Today while in conversation with my wife, she asked me if I was able to change the light bulb, in a little kids voice I said “I think I can because I’m a big boy” she looked at me, looked at my crotch and nodded her head and said “no you’re not”

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 55

By Anonymous - 03/08/2019 02:11

Today I decided to finally tell my crush how I felt about him because by the looks of things he felt the same. So I text him my feelings and he responded with a picture of a cat and blocked my number... FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 01/08/2019 23:13

Today, I went to get my wisdom teeth removed I asked my girlfriend to come with me so she could drive me home because I can't drive after having laughing gas. Apparently I started talking about Shannon so she left me in the parking lot of the dentist because she thought I was cheating. I had to walk 2 miles home. Shannon is my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 6

By Sady_Ct - 30/07/2019 06:59

Today I found out I have another 18months of this hell hole. Why? Because my school neglected to send me an email with next semester enrollment dates in June so I missed the deadline. The email I did get said what I needed for enrollment, not that it would close 4 days ago. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 35

By "Leif Valnick Satyawarman" - 29/07/2019 01:49

Today, I get up early at 4 a.m.. Since I usually have to wake up that early, I have prepared everything beforehand. I have to travel long distance to my office (around 38 km, maybe more maybe less). Arriving at the gym nearest to my office, I realized that I forgot my wallet. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 25

By dryspellhell - 26/07/2019 09:09

Today, I got told once again that my needs in bed were “too much effort” for my partner. Mind you, I’ve cut back on my wants and desires to make it easier on her. But I’m “too much effort” when I tell her the things she does, like slapping my boob or fat, doesn’t turn me on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 131

You deserved it 15

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I overheard my mother telling my sister that she expects my marriage to fall apart any day now. Apparently, I have no concept of what "marriage" really means. My husband and I just celebrated our 7th anniversary, while my mother is planning her 5th wedding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 393

You deserved it 2 332

Today, I found out that the dude I love has been taking the money I used to support him and buying heroin with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 047

You deserved it 735

Today, I was walking home when I heard a male voice behind me yelling, “Hey! Hello!” I walked faster and grabbed my pocket knife, turned around and pointed it at him. He just wanted to hand me back the keys I'd dropped. He then added something like, "Oh, and don’t get it twisted, you’re too fat to be kidnapped and raped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 258

You deserved it 1 995

Today, I offered my seat to an elderly lady on the subway. She quietly refused. Minutes later on a sharp turn, she almost fell down on two people. As I was clearly the youngest in the disability seating section, everyone on the train turned and glared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 744

You deserved it 3 972

Today, my long-distance British boyfriend of 7 years canceled his plane ticket to visit me in the USA. He claims he "doesn't have enough money" to stay for 2 weeks. As I began canceling all the reservations, he called to say he bought a new car and a house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 820

You deserved it 388

Today, I’m officially at the point where I can’t blame others for not wanting to play on the Playstation with me. I don’t even want to play with myself. I suck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 289