Nearly FMLs

By GamerChickxoxo - 18/04/2019 22:10

Today I got home and found all the house doors locked, this wouldn't have been such a bad thing if i hadn't forgotten my key. I had to pop a window out with a screwdriver to get in...right as the cops showed up..FML

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 16/04/2019 00:43

Today, I've been fighting a ENT infection for a couple of months, gradually moving to stronger meds. Finally, something is working. But it messes with my sleep cycles. I've been either dead asleep in bed or sleeping on the throne. for three days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 14/04/2019 19:27

Today my boyfriends mother died after a long illness, she wasn’t even cold yet and he broke up with me in the hospital car park. Apparently for the last year he’s just been using me to hide the fact he was gay from his mother, but now she’s dead he’s moving into a flat with his boyfriend FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 3

By Seb - 13/04/2019 11:10 - United Kingdom - Oldbury

Today I found out my wife named all 5 of our children after the men and women she had affairs with throughout our marriage FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 13/04/2019 03:45

Today, I was explaining something to my boss and put up three finger to emphasize. Or I meant to, instead I put up my middle finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45

You deserved it 62

By Anonymous - 11/04/2019 18:49

Today I came home from one job, hoping i would eat some stew i made the day before. I have an unusually dumb dog that needs a powerpoint presentation to notice common things. Despite that, he managed to open the fridge and swallow all of the stew while leaving pawprints all over. Scrubbed the floors and went to other job hungry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 9

By kitty - 11/04/2019 14:10

Today I remembered I forgot my court date... it was 2 days ago. And I’m on probation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 142

By shinoshirosaki - 09/04/2019 00:24

Today, my organic chemistry class experimented with odorous compounds. One of them was butyric acid, and it straight up smells like ass. Needless to say, I was kept under quarantine of at least 5 meters and got a full whiff of the stuff on my shirt every few minutes. Four more hours to go. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 08/04/2019 19:18

Today I found out that my friends' plans to watch Avengers: Endgame together didn't include me. They didn't even bother to hide it. I don't think this is a misunderstanding, because I've been talking about us going to watch the movie for WEEKS. Thing is, I'm not even mad, just really sad.

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 07/04/2019 23:25

Today, my boyfriend forgot our 8 years anniversary. He went out with his buddy to a car show instead. We planned this a month prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 4

By "ThexVengence" - 07/04/2019 13:17

Today I woke up with a high fever, no appetite, sore all over, and feeling like death. Its my first day of vacation in Disney World. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58

You deserved it 3

By "bubbat101" - 07/04/2019 12:20

Today, 9 days after my mom had to put her cat down, I had to put down my cat. This is the first time in almost 19 years that we haven't had a cat in the house. Everywhere I look, I remember them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 06/04/2019 16:34

Today, I was so bored that I watched a couple of fishes having sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 28

By NailsofThirst - 06/04/2019 14:00

Today, I woke myself up at 5:30 by dreaming that my alarm was going off and I needed to get my kid ready for school. It's Saturday, and this is the only day I will be able to sleep in for the next 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 508

You deserved it 141

By Anonymous - 06/04/2019 00:00

Today I realised that since moving in with my partner I've spent every single day off I've had cleaning. while he spends his going to see friends. I'm house bound unless with him as I don't have my licence... whitch he promised to help me get 2 years ago. and has not. fml.

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 1 122

By sadstorybro - 05/04/2019 20:00

Today, I went on what I thought was a four day romantic getaway with my long distance main girl. Her side boy at home apparently got into her head so much that she doesn't want to kiss me, because "it would be unfair to me to kiss me while thinking of him". FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 1 401

By Anna - 05/04/2019 14:00

Today is Friday February 1st and my boyfriend my’s two year anniversary is on Sunday the 3rd which also happens to be the super bowl. We made plans to have a nice date night and just hangout until he told me that he got tickets to go the Super Bowl and he was taking one of his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 266

You deserved it 283

By Anonymous - 05/04/2019 03:17

Today, one of our department heads offered to hire more people into my group, if he got his promotion. I had to tell him that my boss had no plans to hire more people, since it's cheaper to just have me do all of it, and it makes him look better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 5

By MrMom93 - 04/04/2019 01:20

Today my toddler had an accident. So while cleaning him with a wipe I felt something growing in my hand then realized he was pooping in my hand. I hand to hold the poop while lifting him to the restroom to finish in the toilet...FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 15

By AstroPunch27 - 03/04/2019 19:04

Today, after finishing our job a the workshop, I asked my crush if she wanted to go eat something. She said no because she has enough food till weekend when she is planning to go back home from college. Then asked me if I knew any good pizzeria around. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 2

By Ash - 02/04/2019 18:00

Today, my boyfriend checked the oil in his car. He left the oil stained rag on the carpeted floor of my bedroom. He then got mad at me when I asked him to pick it up and put it in the bin. I got the silent treatment for the rest of the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 314

You deserved it 138

By Garuda - 02/04/2019 05:48

Today my wife worked a 17 hour shift leaving me to take care of our 10 month old who now cries all day for no reason. After a long day of baby crying I let our dogs outside and the largest one jumped up and sucker punched me in the balls. I was already bruised and swollen from a vasectomy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 17

By bad roommate - 02/04/2019 02:48

Today, my roommate told me she hates living with me and wants me to move out because I forgot to rinse the dishes before I put them in the dishwasher. She was serious. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 02/04/2019 02:00

Today, I shaved my legs and put on sexy lingerie. He went to sleep instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 275

You deserved it 191

By TheQueenBitch - 01/04/2019 02:00

Today, I got a message from my group chat saying that they won’t be speaking to me anymore. They said “as much as we love being a bitch sometimes and sticking up for ourselves, you’ve taken it to the extreme and now you are just a inconsiderate and disrespectful person to others feelings” FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 1 814

By TheBestFriend - 30/03/2019 14:00

Today, I was the catalyst to one of my best friends relationship struggles/breakup just by being his friend. His girlfriend is scared I'm going to take him when I'm in a happy, loving relationship of my own. She also met me, said she wasn't worried, then promptly told him to stop being my friend FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 90

By Anon - 29/03/2019 22:08

Today, I was honked and sworn at by an old man in his car for ‘blocking’ his driveway. I had actually stopped to let people cross at the zebra crossing, but I guess him getting out of his drive ten seconds earlier is more important than not running people down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 4

By arthriticwolf - 28/03/2019 21:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I took an Uber in to work with the last $10 in my bank account to be fired as soon as I walked in the door for a post I made on Facebook Thursday. They mailed my last check. FML

I agree, your life sucks 654

You deserved it 1 193

By nolove - 26/03/2019 14:00

Today, after working 9 hours I came home to a messy apartment, all my food gone but all I wanted was to be intimate with my boyfriend. He couldn’t keep it up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 368

You deserved it 156

By "blackrose343" - 25/03/2019 16:00

Today, my boss told me she was going to her sister's funeral. When she left, she said "have a good weekend". I said "you too". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 040

You deserved it 176

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my older, pill-addicted brother, came over to visit with me. After he left, I realized all my Vicodin was gone. I got my wisdom teeth removed two hours ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 097

You deserved it 251

Today, I was driving into a parking lot with some friends. I carelessly passed a sign when my friend said, "Wait what did that sign say?" I backed up to read it and guess what it said: "Severe Tire Damage. Do Not Back Up." Now all 4 of my tires are slashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 946

You deserved it 43 288

Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 825

You deserved it 10 193

Today, it's my third day in the hospital. On Monday, my mother grounded me for not going to school because I was “milking” a sore foot. On Wednesday, we finally went to the ER and it turns out I have a very bad infection in my foot. She refuses to come to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 378

You deserved it 227

Today, I found out what my husband meant when he said he "accidentally installed an indoor pool" last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 448

You deserved it 54

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, and he asked me to tell him what I wanted him to do. I said I wanted him to make me scream and cum. To which he replied, "Okay, be realistic now". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 818

You deserved it 4 614