Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 07/11/2019 02:37

Today, I lost 9lbs in 3 weeks. I rewarded myself with my kids Halloween candy...all of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 47

By GabeUrBoi - 07/11/2019 01:21

Today, Dad and older brother: Makes fun of me Me: Gets angry Dad and older brother: Mock me for being mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19

You deserved it 21

By Anonymous - 07/11/2019 00:24

Today, I bought a very expensive pair of real denim jeans that I intended to wear for the next 5-10 years. A barista spilled coffee down them the first time I wear them outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8

You deserved it 3

By "QueenCortana Tiffany Turner" - 06/11/2019 21:01

Today, I had to go to the clinic cause i had a tonsillectomy last week. I haven't eaten in four days lost 11 pounds and have been throwing up nonstop. The icing on the cake I have thrush all over the inside of my mouth and will be sick for 2 more weeks. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 2

By StillWaitingForACookie - 06/11/2019 15:01

Today, I spent all of last night and this morning to study for an important test. I even woke up early just to continue studying for it. When I came to class, my teacher was teaching another lesson. It turns out he decided to postpone the test until next week to give us more time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 06/11/2019 10:19

Today my sister was rewarded & recognized for the extra effort she put into her day job. The news was shared by her husband in our family group chat. I just received a call from my husband telling me to leave work early to help my mother pack her home made pickles into bottles. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 37

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 06/11/2019 07:05

Today, roughly 25 hours before my chemistry exam I realised I remember nothing! NOTHING at all..I NEED to pass this test and any cost! FML

I agree, your life sucks 33

You deserved it 12

By Anonymous - 06/11/2019 06:50

Today is my chemistry test! This is a test that I NEED to pass at any cost. I have failed in chemistry previously, if I fail again, I will be considered disqualified for board exam. So, I have studied really hard, but now ... roughly 4 hours before exam I realize I remember nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 06/11/2019 03:32

Today, i was on a flight to Egypt, stopping at Dubai. After having an emergency landing, i missed my connecting flight, cant find my baggage tag and was stranded at the airport until 1am because my driver didn't show. this is my first time overseas and i still cant find my bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 5

By not getting any - 05/11/2019 18:20 - United States - Monterey Park

Today I sent the kids over to my mom so I could surprise my husband. When he came in from work I was cooking his favorite dinner wearing extremely high heels and lingerie. He came in and startled me causing me to spill boiling hot sauce down my leg. We spent the night in the Er instead. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 06/11/2019 02:52

Today, I was on a flight to Egypt, stopping at Dubai. After having an emergency landing, I missed my connecting flight, lost my baggage tag, was stranded at the airport until 1am because my driver didn’t want to wait and had my bag go missing for 2 weeks. This was my first time overseas by myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 22:54 - Switzerland - Laupersdorf

Today, for the first time in my life, I had genuine compassion for another person. But not for my wife, but a female colleague and it breaks my heart not being able to tell her how much she means to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 48

Endless love

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 22:00

Today, I notice that my family is still in love with my ex-girlfriend. She comes from across the world, so I guess they feel like mothering her and supporting her when meanwhile my heart breaks every time when I see her because it’s impossible for me to move on... FML

I agree, your life sucks 63

You deserved it 5

By mutlupb - 05/11/2019 10:29 - United States - College Park

Today, somehow FML got taken over by someone spewing the most idiotic shit ever written and it all got published on the "almost FML" page. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 16:16

Today, a guy friend of my girlfriend (who has admitted that he's in love with her) gave her a ring and collages of him with her. She accepted them. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 35

You deserved it 2

By rabbitopener - 05/11/2019 12:35

Today, RabbitOpener - With the help of Bulk URL Opener tool you can open Multiple URL at one click in single web page. Our multi URL opener tool will help in your SEO practice.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 26

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 11:26

Unlike bryan my best friend is not my mom i dont have one my best friend died in sept 2013. I also worked, drove, went back to college and volunteered on disability and i also live alone and i exercised so i dont want to hear it

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 05:22 - United States - Blythewood

I keep feeling weird vibrating sensations when i dont care for sex toys and i cant think of a guy i want to be with and i dont want to date any women. Im kind of annoyed and i want out of here

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 11:18

Somebody across the street keeps fucking with me and they knocked over my trashcan and i dont know who the fuck they are.

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 11:17

Somebody decided to use me to develop an app and accuse me of being deaf even though I can hear. Sometimes I think the idiots doing this are trying to make a bullshit silent experimental film/documentary and they're just pissed off I attempted suicide several x in the past 7 years

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 4

By videreeyewear - 05/11/2019 11:07

Today, If you are into bold, colorful, statement-making glasses, Videre Eyewear is your one-stop destination. We have a huge range of designer eyewear frames in Florida that will never go out of style. Whether you are looking for a hint of nostalgia or find fresh interpretations of standby frames from top designer brands, including Gucci, Prada, Dolce & Gabbanna, Versace, we have a frame for you. Visit our website and shop now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 8

By annoyed - 05/11/2019 08:34

Today i realized that even when i exercised everyday and weighed under 90 lbs my life was being manipulated and my thoughts were being intercepted. Basically theres no escape and im at a loss because i dont know what to do and i cant live my life the way i want to like this

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 07:52

Today, a new employee was supposed to start to help with filing upstairs because I'm currently doing the work of two people and I have been on and off for over a year. The manager sent an email this morning that said she changed her mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 3

By DogStew - 05/11/2019 07:22

Today it has been about 9 years of my mom gossiping about me. Also about 9 years of me telling her not to. And about 9 years of both my parents saying the gossiping will stop. I can’t live with lies anymore. I’m packing my bags. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 05/11/2019 07:17

Today, I got a text from my old boss. Apparently my former coworker turned principal (who's only worked there six months) decided I wasn't "working out". To top it off, he told my coworkers this three weeks ago. I've been there seven years... FML.

I agree, your life sucks 7

You deserved it 2

By lyd - 04/11/2019 18:14

Today I decided to skip class to study for a test tomorrow... in a class that I'm currently failing. the maintenance people in my apartments have been in my house for hours working on "the fire detectors". apparently they need lots of drills and vacuums to do this. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 5

You deserved it 3

By KaD6 - 04/11/2019 15:48

Today, I propped up my leg to put the eczema ointment on the spots. It took so long my leg fell asleep. To top it off, I had to put ointment on top of the bruise I have from leaning in to the ladder while painting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 9

By anonurmom - 04/11/2019 15:46

Today, I found out that the friend I’m getting ready to say bye to forever still has the power to make me cry, no other living human being has this power over me. I want to tell them but they will think I’m trying to get with them and hate me more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 04/11/2019 07:32

Today, My boyfriend and I used to work together in different departments but at the same health food store in Pasadena, CA. Our store director was an absolute narcissistic nightmare who bullied me hard. I remember sitting in my car crying close to driving home some days. By the grace of God I was transferred to a better store randomly because of an HR issue another assistant manager was having at another store so they just switched us. Now that I'm gone my old store director has decided to start targeting my boyfriend. :(. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 03/11/2019 17:04

Today i ran the risk of being fired, by going to the ER for a sore throat. The doctor told me i was smart for not going to work. I work in a restaurant and I have a virul infection. With a doctor's note. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 1

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The Top

Today, I went to the doctor because of the redness and swelling of my penis, hoping that it was just a minor rash or allergic reaction. Nope! According to the doctor, who could barely stop herself from laughing, it's good old-fashioned friction burns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 078

You deserved it 2 024

Today, I went to the blood bank to donate plasma. All went well until the machine went to return my red blood cells. It turns out the nurse sliced my vein and the blood built up in my tissues. I now have a massive swollen arm and bruising, and look like a junkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 449

You deserved it 2 643

Today, at a party, I walked in on a guy I like fucking a girl. Last week, we attempted to hook up - he'd taken my shirt off then said, "Sorry, this doesn't feel right. I can't do this." I angrily told him, "So she feels right for you, huh?" He replied, "Her gut didn't hang when I took her top off. Now leave us alone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 356

Today, I was on a third date with a girl. Things had been going really well. At one point, the conversation lulled. After a moment of silence, she asked me what my greatest fantasy was. I told her that it was being a superhero. She told me that she meant sexual fantasy. I'm 25. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 767

You deserved it 67 884

Today, I found out my roommates spent my rent money and told the landlord I never paid. I've paid my rent and theirs the past six months. My name's on the lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 832

You deserved it 447

Today, I was strolling along a sidewalk when I noticed that my shoelace was untied. As I knelt down to tie it, my brand new $1,000 phone fell out of my pocket and into a storm sewer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 095

You deserved it 2 947