Nearly FMLs

By prettyblogger - 03/11/2019 03:42

Today, my boyfriend tells me to come over and hang with him for a few hours. He calls me back before I leaven my house and tells me that he’s going to a party. I show up at the party later only to see him getting twerked on, looks me in my eyes and smiles with no regret like he doesn’t care. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4

You deserved it 2

By Anonymous - 02/11/2019 13:06

Today, my boyfriend lied to me about not getting any sleep just because he did not feel like driving us to go to see my parents whom I haven't seen in years. I don't have a driver's license to drive myself. My boyfriend wasn't up all night, but I was. He thought I was asleep but I wasn't.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 01/11/2019 16:11

Today as I haven’t had a day off in 4 weeks I told my girlfriend NO, I won’t drive you to your sisters on my one day off so you can drink coffee and ignore me for 6 hours, I’m staying here on my Xbox. I’m now sleeping on the sofa until “she feels she’s ready to let me back”. WORTH IT. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 05:00 - United States - Cranford

Today, I spent hours making my Halloween costume, because my girlfriend wanted to choose a matching couples costume but couldn't decide until two days ago. All the stores were out of my costume. The first thing that was said to me? 'Huh. I was worried that your costume wouldn't turn out well.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By mischiefmanaged992 - 30/10/2019 08:26 - United States - College Station

Today I got to class having studied thoroughly and feeling like a boss only to realize the Prof punked us all by cancelling the quiz! This is the 2nd time this week. I have slept for 4 hrs. I have already started hallucinating! Gotta work now!

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 29/10/2019 20:55

Today I was masturbating, and apparently I was being a bit too loud since I suddenly heard my mom asking me what's going on. I turned my head to the door and saw that she opened it slightly, not sure if she saw what I was doing though. I responded with a probably very suspicious and alarmed ''Nothing.'', after which she decided to leave. I'm pretty sure she realized what's going on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 29/10/2019 19:45

Today, after moving 800 miles from my brother's house, where I was living after getting kicked out by a control freak, it is my birthday and my license for this state got suspended because they never received my old license plate. So now I can't transfer my vehicle title, get a license plate from this state, or get my license without paying almost $1000. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 25/10/2019 02:36

Today, I cried at work because I am on day 12 of explosive diarrhea due to drinking contaminated water during a boil advisory in NOLA on vacation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97

You deserved it 27

By whoaitsamber - 23/10/2019 10:30

Today I am on day 3 of using my crutches. I broke my foot falling into a storm drain the day I was going to pick up my puppy. It’s also the first time I have ever broken a bone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95

You deserved it 13

By isotreti - 22/10/2019 14:18

Today, I started a new medical treatment that obligates you to use a condom during intercourse. Too bad that I literally get dry the moment I smell latex or lubricant. Six more months of dry spell for my boyfriend and me to go! FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 17

By Ihsandeeb1979 - 22/10/2019 01:18

Today I found out I have 4 root canals and 8 cavities, haven't gone to the dentist in a little over 4 years and my doctor stabbed my nerve hard! I literally felt my soul leave my body, FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 45

By PCRob - 20/10/2019 13:20

Today, Two weeks after the transmission in my 15-year old vehicle gave out, and one week after paying over $2200 for the repair, I was involved in an accident on my way home from work. Most likely the other driver's insurance company will "total" my vehicle since the frame has some significant damage, and I'll get at most $1000.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 19/10/2019 11:47 - Russian Federation

Today, I went for a manicure. The girl looked at me and asked me when I was due. I'm not pregnant and I have been working out all summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 13

By "bullsonyourface" - 18/10/2019 15:06 - United States

Today, while I was having company over, I had a seizure and managed to somehow bruise my vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 17/10/2019 07:20

Today I finally got to get down and dirty with my new guy. We both live with our parents and don't drive. The best place we could find was an office bathroom... FML

I agree, your life sucks 38

You deserved it 70

By "Alexsandra Danae" - 16/10/2019 21:05

Today I woke up to discover something had gotten over my fence, torn apart their houses, and torn apart my bunnies. There were pieces of my beloved pets laying in my yard.

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 11

By meowitzer - 14/10/2019 17:12

Today my husband used my car to restart the battery to his nice car that I am not allowed to drive as ‘I might not know how or damage it one day‘. While re-parking my car he hit a pole and shattered my rear window. I now have to bring it to repair as he is too busy and pay for it as he is broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 124

You deserved it 16

By pygmyfrog - 13/10/2019 03:12

Today, my adult daughter told me if she was ever blessed with a daughter, she already had a name chosen. She said she loved the sound of it, and most people wouldn't know it's meaning anyway. The name? "Flagella". FML

I agree, your life sucks 116

You deserved it 10

By "bullsonyourface" - 12/10/2019 18:50

Today, I went to the city to help my grandma move/have a sale. While I was busy helping someone, some jerkoff stole my wallet. To make matters worse, when I got back home I discovered my fridge decided to stop working, and I had to throw out everything in there. I have no money to buy more. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 118

You deserved it 8

By miss_peppermint - 12/10/2019 08:30 - Australia

Today, the man I’m in love with and who claims to love me too told me he never wants to speak to me again because I got upset he took a heap of drugs last night FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 18

By Anonymous - 12/10/2019 04:41

Today my horse got spooked and bucked me off. I now have a broken pelvis and a fracture in my spinal cord. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 09/10/2019 20:09 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, I was out shopping I didn't realize the inside leg of my jeggings ripped till after I got home 2 hours later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 31

By "littl3storm" - 08/10/2019 18:05 - United Kingdom

Today, the only thing that stopped me from killing myself was the fact that I was carrying my brand new games console and wanted to try it out when I got home. Apparently my depression is do bad that video games are more important than family... FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 20

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 02:42 - United States

Today, my roommates informed me that they signed a lease on a house for next year, without me. Their reasoning? I didn’t want to pay additional rent on a house that two of the seven of my roommates couldn’t afford to compensate for their lack of funds. They didn’t even rent that house. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 7

By "Sam Candella" - 07/10/2019 18:26

Today while rushing to get out the door for work, I put cumin on my toast instead of cinnamon fml

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 27

By Anonymous - 07/10/2019 01:55

Today I was in my schools parking lot. I’m just leaving and driving slow because kids were getting out of school and the last thing I wanted was to hit one. But from behind a Toyota Rav 4 comes up behind me and rammed me and now I need to replace my whole bumper which costs $750 FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 6

By foxed - 02/10/2019 00:19

Today, Secured a permanent job after 2 years of struggling. Job cancelled 1 week from starting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 01/10/2019 00:13 - Australia - Baulkham Hills

Today, I realised I’m in a really crappy situation because I have three excruciating mouth ulcers from b12 and iron deficiency. It’s the holidays and I have my HSC exams in 2 weeks. The epitome of high school, and after 13 years of waiting, I can’t study because of my pain. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 13

By Anonymous - 30/09/2019 04:59

Today I missed an exit on the interstate...... 2 minutes later I ran out of gas..... The gas station was half a mile off the exit I missed fml

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 59

By Anonymous - 27/09/2019 16:35

Today half way through my shift I realized I missed a spot while shaving. Not only do I look and feel like an idiot... but I’m also out of dress code. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71

You deserved it 23

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The Top

Today, I was rejected from the college of my dreams. I am now the only kid in 5 generations on my dad's side and 3 on my mom's to not get accepted and go to this school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 944

You deserved it 3 524

Today, I had a date with an amazing girl so in the shower I wanted to make sure I was extra clean. With the soaped up shower puff in hand I tried to get as much of my back as I could which led to me pushing too far and dislocating my shoulder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 001

You deserved it 2 991

Today, my boyfriend mentioned that he wants to get a vasectomy. I didn't give it much thought, until two things occurred to me. 1.) I have PCOS, and was told by multiple doctors that I can't have children. 2.) He almost never wants to have sex anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 266

You deserved it 79

Today, after Boris made his Monday night lockdown announcement, my husband announced that no way can he handle another lockdown stuck in the house with me and two teenagers, so he drove all night to our static caravan and insists he’s staying there alone until lockdown is over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 926

You deserved it 198

Today, the creepy guy at school that won't take "no" for an answer came over with his parents to talk about marriage. My dad knows about this creep and said he'd cast them out, but things didn't turn out as I hoped. Apparently, part of the dowry is a Ferrari. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 282

You deserved it 213

Today, my parents staged an intervention because I ate a year's supply of noodles in 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 744

You deserved it 46 912