Nearly FMLs

By Stellbelll292 - 14/03/2019 00:04

Today, my boyfriend woke me up to tell me his mom had left. We took the opportunity to try a new position. Afterwards, we heard coughing from the guest bedroom next to his. Apparently the cleaning lady was cleaning his moms room so she was “napping” in the guest room. She heard everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11

You deserved it 21

By screwed - 13/03/2019 22:40

Today, I lost the remote for my car. Even if I manually lock the doors I have to have the remote to unlock or the alarm won’t turn off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 5

By Jobless - 13/03/2019 20:28

Today, I found out after finally finding the area I want to work in, bagging myself a placement, getting a loan and beginning my year long course to train for the job that the government has made huge cuts to funding for the job and it’s unlikely I’ll ever get a paid position in that area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 3

By Anonymous - 13/03/2019 13:02 - Canada - London

Today, I received many compliments in my college campus for losing a lot of weight recently. Little did they know that the reason why is because the money my dad sent for food is 2 weeks late. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 13/03/2019 01:12

Today I made the worst golf shot in history when the ball bounced off a nearby tree, shot back to us and hit my father in law in the face knocking out one of his front teeth and causing him to fall over, hit his head on his golf bag and burst a bunch of blood vessels in his eye FML

I agree, your life sucks 26

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 12/03/2019 22:00

Today I met with my ex girlfriend who left me 8 months ago and then met a coworker I had a drunk one night stand with 5 months ago to try and get over my ex. They’re both pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 1 309

By jace - 12/03/2019 19:11

Today my mum threw a surprise party which I thought was to celebrate a promotion I worked 3 years for. Nope, it was to celebrate my sister making it to one month sober at alcoholics anonymous, which is total bollocks since I only just cleaned her up from her latest binge last Saturday FML

I agree, your life sucks 21

You deserved it 3

By "CrazyCatPlushie" - 12/03/2019 16:10

Today is only the 4th day I've had my brand new car. Despite careful driving; I've already managed to tap a light post pulling into a parking space and had a cyclist ride into the back of my car. I'm now afraid to drive it because I think it might be cursed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 8

By Zooman - 12/03/2019 00:00

Today I tried to advertise on several online hookup sites. I am so ugly that when girls asked for a pic I would never hear from them again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 013

You deserved it 148

By NurseNyasty - 11/03/2019 20:00

Today I realized my sex life is a joke. I've waited till marriage with my high school sweet heart and she can't get it in. The week long honeymoon was fighting and no sex. We moved out thinking "we need more time alone" now i have a nagging wife that can't satisfy me. 23 excited for cleaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 936

You deserved it 775

By Smyth - 11/03/2019 14:00

Today, my brother was put in jail for a DUI. When I showed my mother the news article and read it to her she started screaming at me saying “I won’t listen to someone say horrible things about my son!” Last I checked I was her son too and she mocks me fot not being as successful as him... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 154

You deserved it 83

By Heisvicious - 11/03/2019 13:37

Today, my mother said I'm a 'fucking nightmare' because I called her precious dog vicious. Apparently when I'm giving him a treat he's allowed to bite my hand so hard it leaves 3 puncture wounds and takes 20 minutes to stop bleeding. It's been 2 days and I still can't move my finger normally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22

You deserved it 1

By Murdar - 10/03/2019 23:17

Today I told the guy I’ve been sleeping with for the past 3 months that I’ve developed feelings for him. His response? “Oh, that’s nice.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 6

By It was actually a long time ago - 10/03/2019 01:40

Today, after a lenghty talk, I was told I am beautiful and worthy of love, then embraced with affection. First time in my life actually. Sadly, it was by a guy whom I'll never see again. A homeless guy in a city I visited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17

You deserved it 2

By I care too much - 10/03/2019 01:32

Today, my friend (who works in Turkish tourism promotion) offered me a free trip all over Turkey, with food, accomodation and travel. All I had to do was to come to Istanbul. I am too broke to buy a bus ticket, because I lent my "friends" money and they didn't pay back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14

You deserved it 15

By I care too much - 10/03/2019 01:27

Today, I discovered that the big wardrobe in the room I rented hides a large passage between my room and my landlords'. I hear everything they do, and they hear everything I do, as in one room. The landlord has a drinking problem and rants at his wife at nights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 1

By Squanching - 09/03/2019 13:00 - United States - Omaha

Today, Both my roommates (who just broke up) came home within 10 minutes of each other. I had just been told that I had a 30 day notice to move as the other one pulls into the driveway. I excuse myself to the restroom and at first l heard arguing and then I heard moaning.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 188

You deserved it 87

By Own flat in a year - 09/03/2019 16:22 - Poland - Warsaw

Today, as everyday, my father gives me important advices, such as that I should add sugar, drink before it's cold, take bigger sips, chew more, keep both hands on the table, use knife, sit straight, dress as he pleases, and takes offense if I even make a sigh. I am 36. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 2

By Navi - 09/03/2019 05:55

Today, I sent my grandmother a text message saying that I loved her. She sent me a thumbs up emoji ??FML

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 5

By Mama - 08/03/2019 20:33 - United States - Boulder

Today, after waiting a month, we heard that our insurance denied our appeal of their initial denial for our son's tonsillectomy that is scheduled for next week. A couple hours later, his strep test was positive again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 3

By Wal-Hell - 09/03/2019 00:48

Today, I brought in a note from my physiotherapist because my shoulder was injured from work. I was supposed to have the weekend off to rest it. But if I don't work, I don't get paid. I'm a broke student. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 2

By DickandFired - 09/03/2019 00:44

Today, I learned that if we had universal health care, we wouldn't be getting booted out of the house so our landlord can sell it to pay for her cancer treatment and we can afford my son's tongue tie revision. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13

You deserved it 4

By Anonymous - 08/03/2019 20:00

Today, I am leaving for an honors band program. I practiced for months to audition and I was accepted into it. We perform a very formal concert. Right as we left I realized, I forgot my dress shoes. Guess I am wearing beaten up old tennis shoes while everyone else looks like royalty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 938

By Bandit - 08/03/2019 05:37

Today, my crush admitted she had feelings for me and said if she was 10 years younger, she'd be all over me. But because she is older, she doesnt feel comfortable dating me. FML!

I agree, your life sucks 16

You deserved it 4

By "swervelol" - 08/03/2019 01:15

Today, a new neighbor moved into the unit below me. I've only interacted with him twice, first when he blocked my car in with his U-haul trailer, and second when he stood in front of his glass balcony door wearing nothing but a tiny towel and staring intensly at me in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 1

By gocheebee - 08/03/2019 00:43

Today my coworker took my hard work for credit. She told the manager that she had done all the work that was needed. She was congratulated and sent home early. I ended up having to stay until close. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 6

By Undercovers - 07/03/2019 14:28

Today I'm so sex deprived, I woke up humping my blankets. I'm a girl...FML

I agree, your life sucks 13

You deserved it 8

By Once Bitten... - 07/03/2019 05:26

Today, I realised just how bad my social anxiety is, when I couldn't tell my building manager I found bed bugs in my student accommodation when I woke up with bites. I'm pretty sure I killed them all, but I'm too afraid to sleep on the bed, so I'm typing this from the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 4

By Once Bitten... - 07/03/2019 05:26

I agree, your life sucks 9

You deserved it 3

By you're welcome - 07/03/2019 04:00

Today, despite him having a truck and plenty of food in the house, my lazy dad woke me up early and forced me to go buy him a biscuit and a cup of coffee for breakfast from the 7-11 nearby. When I got back, he shot me a dirty look, ripped the contents of the biscuit out and ate only the bread. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 236

You deserved it 92

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The Top

Today, right before a huge snowstorm hit our area, I broke up with my girlfriend. In her fury, she decided to grab my car keys and roll down all four windows in my car. I now have 2 feet of half melted snow in my backseat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 025

You deserved it 11 837

Today, I walked in on my soon-to-be-ex-husband with his coworker (who we'd always argued about) bent over in front of him. Both of them buck ass naked. He was supposed to be watching our two year-old daughter, who was in another room eating applesauce by herself. She was drenched in applesauce from head to toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 663

You deserved it 210

Today, while I was shopping at a store with my friend, I noticed a cute girl smiling at us. My friend said, "She's all yours," and walked away. When I approached her, she asked me if my friend was single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 306

You deserved it 2 072

Today, I went to hospital for a potential stomach bug. According to a CT scan, I also found out that I have uterine fibroids as well. Yay for being a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 836

You deserved it 112

Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 764

You deserved it 3 669

Today, I passed out on the way to work. Some lucky passerby took this as an opportunity to help themself to my purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 095

You deserved it 782