Nearly FMLs

By KO - 22/01/2016 18:36 - United States - Clover

Today, just before I left school, something hit me and I blacked out. From what the nurse at the hospital told me, a mentally disabled student decided tackling me was good for his anger issues. FML

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By sNOwday - 22/01/2016 18:30 - United States - Ridgeland

Today, I was working my job at a pig farm. I had just started on the first barn. As I was watering the baby pigs the water line bursts. It's below freezing outside and snowing. My coveralls are soaking wet and I have 5 more barns to go through. FML.

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By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 18:21 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, I have the flu, period cramps, a fractured arm, severe chest pain from a heart condition I have, and I have to be at work in an hour or I get fired. FML

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By GabeGabe - 22/01/2016 17:54 - United States - Redmond

Today, at school we had an evacuation drill and my teacher thought it would be a good Idea to not wake me up. I found out when the police officer woke me up. FML

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By unknown - 22/01/2016 17:46 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, my mom informed through an argument amongst a friend that we are behind on rent. Severely. However her boyfriend now has a nice ps4. And we could get evicted. FML

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By JTizzy - 22/01/2016 17:25 - United States - Decatur

Today, me and my girlfriend came to the decision that we should end our relationship, now she keeps sending me suicide notes FML.

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By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 17:24 - Anonymous Proxy

Today, an old guy was staring at me so I asked him to stop. Then he came and whispered in my ear that he wanted to stick his whole dick inside my foreskin and fuck my penis like a vagina, then he wrote down his phone number and stuffed it in my jeans pocket. I feel violated in so many ways FML

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By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 17:11 - United States - Buffalo Grove

Today my boyfriend emailed asking me to call as something serious had happened. When I did I found that the serious incident was he lost his TV remote and wanted to know if stole it. I did not. This wouldn't be a big deal except that the call cost me $20 because I'm currently out of the country. FML

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By wtf - 22/01/2016 17:05 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me every time he looks at me it pisses him off, all I did was ask what class he had next. FML

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By HandOfRevan - 22/01/2016 16:57 - United States - Denver

Today, my car broke down, the tow truck broke down, now we are both waiting for a tow truck fml

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By ArinYuuma - 22/01/2016 16:54 - United States - Wylie

Today, we were playing dodgeball in gym and some dude hit a girl in the face with a ball, she flipped her shit and tried to punch him in the face but she thought I threw it and ended up punching me in the face instead. FML

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By IllAdvised - 22/01/2016 16:53 - Germany - Berlin

Today, my whole team at work is ill, so we drew straws to determine who would get to go home early. I lost. For the last four hours I've been handling the office alone and everyone who walks by advises me to go home because I look that bad. I wish. FML

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By homebound - 22/01/2016 16:42

Today, I broke up with my psycho girlfriend because she cheated on me with my best friend. She responded by getting out a kitchen knife and telling me I had 10 seconds to get out of the house before she used it on me. I had to evacuate from my own house. FML

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By ZombieGirl0417 - 22/01/2016 16:15

Today, I got a C in Geometry. No huge deal, my parents were okay with it. My brother got a D in US History. Guess who got screamed at for that? Me. FML

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By dorothy675 - 22/01/2016 16:03 - United States

Today, I booked a flight home. Fortunately we made it to the airport in time. Unfortunately it was the wrong airport. The ticket cost 500. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By work_while_bent - 22/01/2016 15:40 - United States - San Luis Obispo

Today I applied for my absolute dream job. I wrote an entirely new cover letter, edited the wording in my CV to fit with the company, and sent off my application. That's when I realized that I misspelled the name of the company not two sentences before I wrote about my keen eye for detail. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By buttermeup - 22/01/2016 15:37 - United States - Dayton

Today, I walked into my 9 year old kids room catching him trying to pierce his penis FML

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By onyinye - 22/01/2016 15:20 - Germany - Neum?nster

Today, I'm finally doing what I've wanted to do for years. It's great, but now I'm in so much stress that I come home crying most days and have at least one nervous breakdown a week. FML

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You deserved it 0

By ThatIslandKidd - 22/01/2016 15:09 - United States - Yelm

Today, While my girlfriend was watching some modeling show on TV, I told her I wasn't confident in being naked with her. Her response? "That's fine I felt like it wasn't working out too well a few months after we started dating anyway." It's been almost a year. FML

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By aurelj1 - 22/01/2016 15:03 - United States - Grapevine

Today, I brought my 5 year old son into the public restroom with me. As I was doing my business at the urinal, he suddenly pulled down my pants and punched me as hard as he could right in the ass cheek. A bathroom full of grown men watched me chase him with my pants around my ankles. FML

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By Angelrose2004 - 22/01/2016 15:02 - United States - Jacksboro

Today, after having two of my resident's toe nails previously fall off, I had meant to tell him that I was making sure all of his toe nails were still there. Instead, I just said toes. He's had two toes amputated. FML

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By TheHarvardian - 22/01/2016 14:54 - United States - Louisville

Today, I got a negative feedback report from a customer who claims that I "didn't solve her issue". Her feedback specifically mentions a second agent. I still have to take three points for it. FML

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By dundundundundun - 22/01/2016 14:36 - United States - Castle Rock

Today while working on my PowerPoint my partner changed organism to orgasm. I forgot to change it back today when I presented it. Everyone definitely noticed, FML.

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By sabrinaiero - 22/01/2016 14:20 - United States - Apollo Beach

Today, I wrote a long text to my boyfriend about how much I disliked my boss. I sent it to my boss instead. FML.

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By johnphillips - 22/01/2016 13:35 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I asked my girlfriend if we can try anal for the first time and was happy because she said yes I was happy the whole time waiting for her to get home that is till she walked In the door with a bright pink strap on and told me to bend over FML

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By anon - 22/01/2016 13:34 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, my girlfriend of 6 months broke up with me. The reason being that I was unable to spend time with her during her birthday. I might understand this if I was not undergoing surgery at the time. Yes, she knew. FML.

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By Anonymous - 22/01/2016 13:28 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. We were laying in bed, under the covers in a spoon position when my step dad walked in. He thought we were just cuddling so he stayed to talk. My boyfriend slowly kept going! Fml

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By TheHeirofTime - 22/01/2016 13:15 - United States - Newtonville

Today, I got a new twelve hundred dollar desk complete with shelves, a built in bulletin board, and drawers. My two cats decided that the bulletin board made a good scratching post. FML

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By mezochan - 22/01/2016 13:11 - United States - Barberton

Today, my morning sickness was so bad that the smell of my own fart caused me to throw up. FML

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By Yimpish - 22/01/2016 13:05 - United States

Today, my teacher told me to come before school to make up an assignment that I missed. I then proceed to get kicked out when I walk in because the teachers are "having a meeting". I didn't know meetings involved donuts and gossip. FML

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I'm at the unique point in my schooling that I'm either extremely overqualified or extremely underqualified for every job opportunity that appeals to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 794

You deserved it 2 435

Today, I took a pregnancy test. I waited the longest two minutes of my life just to realize I missed the stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 505

You deserved it 29 341

Today, I showed up on time for a job interview. After waiting for about three hours, I was informed that the manager had "better things to do" than interview me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 024

You deserved it 121

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 920

You deserved it 3 731

Today, being tired of all the shrubbery growing “downstairs”, I decided to give my lady bits a good waxing. So, naturally, I now have a tiny tear in my right labia and I'm scratching my itchy buttcrack with an old toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 748

You deserved it 520

Today, I had to have a serious talk with my 30-year-old husband about why Sesame Street isn't a "soap opera." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 354

You deserved it 5 148