Nearly FMLs

By F my life for real - 03/02/2016 19:17 - United States - San Antonio

Today, my mother is in the ICU fighting for her life, I am pregnant and ill and my husband just got laid off. What the fuck? FML.

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By senorwinces - 03/02/2016 19:06 - United States - Meansville

Today, at work, I let out a massive fart in the bathroom. I learned afterward that the bathroom has all the soundproofing of a paper bag. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By RiRi21 - 03/02/2016 19:00 - United States - Shelbyville

Today, my mother kicked me out of the house for borrowing her petticoat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Toyko dirft - 03/02/2016 18:45 - United States - Bronx

Today, I want to my mailbox hoping that my carrier sent my security deposit. Well that wasn't the case because when I went to my mailbox it was gone. Looking to see if someone stole it, I see 2 kids laughing in the distance saying "Tommy I think we hit the jackpot " yea with my security deposit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By BreakUps - 03/02/2016 18:42 - United States - Sun City Center

Today, after a month of being single, I expressed my still very deep feelings for her in an attempt to get her back, I then found out she has a new man in her life. My twin brother. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/02/2016 18:32 - United Kingdom - Hove

Today, my bestfriend went through my phone and saw me sexting my girlfriend. He then hid it while I looked for it, and when I looked at him, he told my 22 year old brother that I was sexting. He then looks at me with the biggest smile and threw my phone to my brothers hands, letting him read it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/02/2016 18:07 - United States - Carmel

Today i was written up at work for going into the women's rest room. the men's room has been out of order for a week and I'm not allowed to leave during my ten hour shift FML.

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Cousin Blankie - 03/02/2016 18:07 - United States - New York

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me in the mall in an screaming scorned woman fashion for blatantly cheating on her. She also sarcastically said to enjoy my new "hick chick". The "hick chick" is my visiting 11 year old cousin from the Ozarks, who was clinging on to me in fear as she rambles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/02/2016 18:05 - United States - Louisville

Today, after finally gaining courage against my internalised transphobia against myself, I bought eye liner. My family immediately agrees that, since I bought make up, I am not really a boy. I just wanted to feel more confident in myself. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/02/2016 17:58 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I was walking up my road to get to the bus station, I found ten pounds on the floor. I felt really happy because this was the most money I have found in ages. In triumph I held the money up in the air with one hand. Just as a car drove past prompting the wind to then blow my money away. FMl

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By couchcat - 03/02/2016 17:45 - United States - Forest Lake

Today, I realized how sad my life is that when my friends ask if I know someone by a name I immediately start to think about recent movies or games instead of real people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By onehotmomma90 - 03/02/2016 17:09 - Canada - Gorrie

Today, I finally convinced my husband that 2 children was enough. Today is also the day I found out I was pregnant...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By misc - 03/02/2016 17:07 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I have explosive diarrhea, and I'm stuck at school of another 5 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By ohdear - 03/02/2016 16:51 - France - Cergy

Today, my long-term boyfriend told me he wants us to break up, 3 months ago he said he wanted us to get married someday and I really thought he was the one. He says I saw it coming, I really didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By still made it to school on time - 03/02/2016 16:31 - United States - King George

Today, I was pulled over for gunning my car through a yellow light, but the officer let me off with a warning because I have a clean driving record. When I told my friends later on, they decided that the only reason I didn't get a ticket is because I'm not black. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By adopted atheist - 03/02/2016 16:22 - United States - Wayne

Today, my mom found out I'm atheist after of years of lying and going to church. She responded by disowning me and giving me my adoption papers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By fuckselfies - 03/02/2016 16:20 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, my photography class started a unit on selfies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Sansational_ - 03/02/2016 16:17 - United States - Randolph

Today, I had a blackout from a snowstorm at my house. I was using a flashlight, but apparently my dog is scared of flashlights. Upon pointing it at the ceiling, my dog took a flying leap and tore into my head. Because of the snow, I had to wait a day to get to the hospital for stitches. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By welpwelpwelp - 03/02/2016 16:13 - Australia - Sydney

Today, the ladder I was standing on slipped out from under me. Being very experienced in parkour, I landed on the ground perfectly with no injuries. I was proud of myself for five full seconds, as I then proceeded to trip on a rock and break my nose. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/02/2016 15:51 - United States - Livingston

Today, all four of my children are sick &My husband is at a work convention. After being up for the past 12 hrs with no crap break in sight,I manage to sneak off to the toilet. A few minutes in I feel something odd, look down and realize, I didn't pull my thong off. I literally split my shit. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By kiranariama - 03/02/2016 15:46 - United States - Fort Stockton

Today, I was driven off of the road by an 18 wheeler and crashed into a sign. He told the police that I was behind him and he didn't know why I drove off the side of the road. The police believe him, my car is totaled, and I might have to pay for all of the damage. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Creep2DJ - 03/02/2016 15:46 - United States - Fort Wayne

Today, I spent four hours replacing the broken headlight in our 12 year old Honda Civic. I turned the car on to check if it worked, only to realize I'd replaced the wrong light. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By 14yearsyoungerthandad - 03/02/2016 15:31 - United States - Decatur

Today, my dad and I ran into a boy I've been seeing. The boy shoved my dad, threatened to hit him, and accused me of cheating. This is the third boy to have that reaction to my father. I guess this is one of those unexpected consequences of teen pregnancy that my parents didn't see coming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By badbadluck00 - 03/02/2016 15:23 - United States

Today, I'm so poor that I had to use the left over cat shampoo from when I had a cat that died a few months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/02/2016 15:14 - Ukraine - Kiev

Today, my girlfriend told me that I can watch porn, but I can't come to it. I mean, what's the point even? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Deweyboy - 03/02/2016 14:46 - United States - Joliet

Today, I had to theoretically cast a play for my drama class. I decided to cast a girl I have known for almost 13 years. It took trying to find a picture of her for the Powerpoint to find out she had blocked me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 03/02/2016 14:20 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, after expressing to my dad that I've been feeling bummed out and depressed, he looked at his calendar and sighed before saying "your mom died in March, so you can't be acting like a little bitch before then. I can't deal with that". FML.

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By wild turkey surprise - 03/02/2016 13:39 - United States - New York

Today, my bullshitting manager's manager found out that I have been doing the reports, because I know how to use the new program they are forced to use. He tried to make use of me, throwing a: "This will look good for you". Apparently, "That's a lie and you know it." is not the proper response. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By dtdrpepperguy - 03/02/2016 13:25 - United States - Grand Forks

Today, I decided to rub one out before bed. While doing so, I somehow managed to jerk my head back and give myself whiplash. I didn't sleep all night because of the pain, and can't see a chiropractor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

By sonofanutcraker - 03/02/2016 13:08 - United States - New York

Today, I took my hoodie off in school. This would have been fine if I hadn't been lazy and didn't put a shirt on under it, FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my sister blamed me for everything again. We're twins and have the same friends, but they all like her better because she's an extrovert and I'm an introvert, and I'm sick of her getting mad at me, copying me, blaming me and making my life miserable for no reason. Why does everyone think I'm so pathetic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 718

You deserved it 180

Today, I saw my grandma for the first time since I got new glasses. Wanting to be different, I got crystal colored ones instead of black. She said, "Thank God. You looked so dorky with your giant nerd glasses!" Love you too, grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 626

You deserved it 191

Today, I parked my car on the street late at night, when I was distracted by a text message. Some guy then gets in my passenger side. Panicked, thinking I was being robbed, I bolt out of my car bruising my head and dropping my phone onto the pavement. The guy meant to get in the car behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 267

You deserved it 7 151

Today, while ironing some shirts, my cat decided to hop up and investigate. To prevent him from burning himself, I instinctively moved the iron away and placed it flat on my other hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 275

You deserved it 14 603

Today, I bought an apartment over what I have just learned to be an Irish folk music store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 992

You deserved it 34 185

Today, I got a surround sound system from my best friend. I didn't even have it hooked up when the sub woofer fell to the floor and smashed. I don't know if it can be fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 928

You deserved it 381