Nearly FMLs

By Nightwing98 - 12/02/2016 21:42 - United States - Plymouth

Today, I was at a bar with my friend. A cute girl left her group and sat next to me. I quietly asked my friend why she did it & he laughed and said she wanted to talk to me. I thought he was joking and moved on. She got up and went to her friends. That's when I realized my friend was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By goodbye - 12/02/2016 21:29 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, we were going down the highway. The book I had just bought got sucked out of my hands and through the window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By lilmomster - 12/02/2016 21:28 - United States - Burleson

Today, I went to go see if my 2 year old daughter was awake. I found her squatting in her crib smearing her poop all over the place. She literally reached in the back of her diaper and grabbed her own shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By scarred father - 12/02/2016 21:25 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I can home from work early after feeling a bit sick and tired. As I walked in I thought I would surprise my son and ask him if he wanted to watch a movie. I walked in too see him having his penis sucked by a young girl.FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Nick - 12/02/2016 21:24 - United States - Montgomery

Today, as a early valentines gift I gave my friend, who I've liked for a few months now, a rose and a card that said "I love you." She responded by saying "I love you too, buddy!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By __Dreamers__ - 12/02/2016 21:21 - United States - Fords

Today, I was trying to take a relaxing shower. Until 10 minutes into the shower the hot water turned off and all that was coming out was ice cold water. The worst part was I was still covered in soap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By giggles - 12/02/2016 21:18 - United States

Today, was my first day back at work after being in the hospital for weeks after i tried killing myself. I told my boss I was not going to be myself because of the events that took place, he said he understood and he cared. I was then fired for not smiling and giving excellent customer service. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 21:14 - Finland - Helsinki

Today, my newly pregnant wife decided that her tastes had changed and she didn't like milk from a carton anymore. She proceeded to fill a gigantic mixing bowl with the milk and precariously balanced it on the top shelf of the refrigerator. My morning shower took place in the kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By TaTas - 12/02/2016 21:08 - United States - Irving

Today, my boyfriend walked up to me at the mall and shook my breasts, while yelling "Triple D boobie milkshake! Come and taste it!" 3 guys actually came over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By 73012211 - 12/02/2016 21:03 - United States - Irving

Today, my boyfriend of 10 months informed me that we won't be celebrating Valentine's Day, because it is a waste of time and money, when love should be celebrated every day of the year. That would be great, but the most romantic thing he ever does is ask for sex by humping my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Abby498 - 12/02/2016 21:03 - United States - Du Quoin

Today, as I leaned in to kiss my boyfriend I shocked him extremely hard on the lips. Now we both have swollen lips. That's what I call some electricity in the relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ShyGui - 12/02/2016 20:51 - Canada - Airdrie

Today, after a long day of school, I was looking forward to my week off school. Just as the final class ended, my teacher informed us that the bus was not coming due to severe weather conditions, that being heavy fog and winds. I now have to walk a 1 hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sunsetium - 12/02/2016 20:32

Today, while driving my car got hit from behind. I stepped outside and talked to the guy. He suggested we pull over in order to not block the whole street which is extremely busy. As I pulled over I see him driving off as if nothing happened. I didn't get his plate #. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Mad At Work - 12/02/2016 20:32 - United States - Denver

Today, I asked a coworker I trusted to finish up two of my clients which only required signatures as everything else was completely done. She transferred them both into her name and told my manager I keep giving her half finished accounts which she's not okay with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 20:24 - India - Chennai

Today, my friend introduced me to someone who looks a bit like me. After pointing it out, she turned to her and said, "No offence, of course". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 20:17 - United States - Cary

Today, the app where I store my secret porn wished me a good morning. That's the sweetest thing I've woken up to, ever. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By muuca - 12/02/2016 20:11 - Italy - Palermo

Today, at the store with my mom we were in line to check out and this man comes up behind us and I turn around to see him flashing his phone at me. Wouldn't of been so bad if it wasn't a dick pic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sarahturtle - 12/02/2016 20:06 - United States - Marysville

Today, my boyfriend told me that he loves me and would be torn apart and kill himself if I broke up with him. We've been dating for a week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Aw Sheeiiit - 12/02/2016 20:04 - United States - Charlotte

Today, I'm going to meet up with my girlfriend for a Valentine's Day get together, who I have not seen in three weeks. As I'm using the restroom before I leave work, I notice I have sharted and have a nasty brown stain on my boxers. Now it reeks when I drop my trousers... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By brokennesspeople - 12/02/2016 19:55 - United States

Today, my roommate played a "prank" on me by taking my phone. I tried to get it back and I did 4 hours later. The screen was completely smashed and it was bent. He claims that "something must've happened to it in his pocket."

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By unapologetic - 12/02/2016 19:50 - United States - San Francisco

Today, a car alarm went off outside my window for long enough that for the last 20 minutes, I haven't been sure if it's still going or if it's just ringing inside my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By SailorSolaris - 12/02/2016 19:33 - United States

Today, I found out that the minor "pimple" I've been getting in my mouth since I was young is really a dental abscess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Trama1201 - 12/02/2016 19:32 - United States - Boston

Today, I went to the library to bring back some books, I walk up to the counter and the librarian turns to me and says "What can I do for you young man?" I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By DJDualScreen - 12/02/2016 19:26 - United States - York

After being told that it was perfectly fine to do so, I elected to have a some cranberry juice and vodka at my parent's house. guess who got a lecture on being an alcoholic?

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 19:20 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, I've known that car rides almost always make me sleepy but this evening I found that I fall asleep even if I am the one behind the wheel. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 12/02/2016 19:16 - United States - Baltimore

Today, it's the middle of my work week and my body can't decide which end it wants to explode out of. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By youdontsay123456 - 12/02/2016 19:12 - United States - Grand Prairie

Today, our school handed out carnations. Almost everyone got one but me. Then while getting my lunch I trip up the stairs falling on my already injured knee, and dropping all my food on me, and not having any lunch money left. Happy Valentines Day to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By two2blue - 12/02/2016 19:01 - United States - Madison

Today, I found out that the only time my agoraphobic bf and I can get off work at the same time in the next six months for a romantic getaway is Memorial Day, where all the neat places will be too crowded to have any fun. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By cole66 - 12/02/2016 19:00 - United States - Nashville

Today, after working for hours upon hours to create a game, I found out that what I was using for it has been removed and all I can do is scrap the whole thing. this was one of most proud creations I have ever made. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By WHY - 12/02/2016 18:57 - United States - Portage

I have a new issue where it hurts extremely bad to put in a tampon, My doctor just says not to use them. That would be fine if I wasn't highly allergic to pads.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, I discovered that I don't have enough financial aid to continue going to college past this semester. I'm one semester away from graduating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 389

You deserved it 1 927

Today, I took a final for my law class. As I was taking the test, I noticed the girl on my left copying off me. I wrote all the wrong answers on my sheet while writing the correct answers on my desk hoping she would copy the wrong answers down. I forgot to write the correct answers on my test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 166

You deserved it 69 259

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 715

You deserved it 42 923

Today, and for the past two years, I've been hosting a fairly successful Dungeons And Dragons podcast. However, ever since we brought a new player into the group, we've lost almost half of our listeners, and thanks to that, we lost our sponsorships too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 165

Today, in aerobics, while stretching, my friend leaned over to pull the long hair off my pants. It was my pubic hair sticking through my pants, and I screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 669

You deserved it 47 148

Today, I lost my virginity. He then told me, in tears, how bad he felt about leaving his dog alone for the night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 314

You deserved it 3 415