Nearly FMLs

By Unlucky - 12/02/2016 01:27 - United States - Cleveland

Today my husband who's also deployed told me he's gay. We have a 6 month old daughter and another 6 months before he comes home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By will11j - 12/02/2016 01:19 - United States - Carlisle

Today, I drove an hour to see my semi-long distance girlfriend to have an early Valentine's Day. Laden with flowers and chocolate I surprised her at her house to see her with another guy, having some "Valentine's Day fun" On the plus side the chocolate was delicious. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By am1717 - 12/02/2016 01:11 - United States - San Jose

Today, I was texting my crush when he decided to tell me about his rape fetish. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Amy Marie - 12/02/2016 01:06 - Australia

Today, I found out that my boyfriend hasn't showered for 12 days. He thinks that wiping himself down with baby wipes is a suitable replacement for bathing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By wellthen - 12/02/2016 01:05 - United States - Crowley

Today, I caught my girlfriend kissing another girl. Normally I would just be sad and get over it, but this happened to be the day she was riding home with us. I had to sit beside her trying not to cry the whole way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 00:48 - United States

Today, my bike got stolen after I left the keys in the lock. On my walk home I saw the bike in a rack at the store. I was so happy and I tried to take it back but the guy who stole it punched me in the face and got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Druu - 12/02/2016 00:48 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I realize that taking up running to improve my overall health may have backfired. I seem to have developed runner's knee, which makes it painful to keep my knee bent 90 degrees for over half an hour. Car rides hurt. Flights hurt. And I almost had to leave Les Miserables at intermission. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 00:47 - Australia

Today I saw a parody drawing of Donald Trump, complete with a tiny dick. The joke dick looks just like my husband's real one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Stinky - 12/02/2016 00:20 - United States - Brea

Today my mother in law informed that their family thinks my husband and I are perfect together. Apparently, they think that because we both smell. I shower everyday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Azusi - 12/02/2016 00:15 - United States - Chapel Hill

Today, a friend in my class was looking rather glum, so I tried to lighten the mood by saying "What's up? You look like your dog just died." Turns out he just put down his oldest dog. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By guess i can finally taste bacon - 12/02/2016 00:07 - United States - Fairfax

Today, I found out that I'm diabetic. I also found out that the medicine that I have to live on for the rest of my life is made from animals. I have been a vegetarian for my whole life. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 00:05 - Canada - Welland

Today I caught my younger sister with a pregnancy test. She was crying because it was positive. She is 15.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Dilexar - 11/02/2016 23:51 - Russian Federation - Moscow

Today, I was trying desperately to blow a booger out of my nose. I guess I was blowing so hard, the snot rocket flew strait through the tissue & landed on my girlfriends arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By scoobses - 11/02/2016 23:51 - United States

Today, I got a response message from a recent ex. It was well-thought out, honest, and sincere. All I want to do after reading her kind words is get back together. She's moving thousands of miles away in about 4 months. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Kers3054 - 11/02/2016 23:14 - United States - Uniontown

Today, at work, an older man came through my line with a $21 order that he couldn't afford. He does this several times a week, sometimes multiple times a day. I told him he couldn't have it and I had to move on to the next person. He watched me serve 6 people until someone paid for him... FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By DelawaresFinest - 11/02/2016 23:11 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, I went out on the ice for hockey practice. It felt like something was off. I figured out that I forgot to put my hockey pants on, but not before I took a shot to the butt FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ALittleFreak - 11/02/2016 23:07 - United States - Utica

Today, my landlord told me that if I don't get rid of my puppy that I just bought, that my tendency will be terminated and I will owe them a bunch of money. This is because he looks like a breed that isn't allowed. This is the second time this has happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By embarrassed - 11/02/2016 22:48 - United States - Edgewater

Today, I was trying to watch porn on my phone upstairs. I wish I had remembered my phone was still connected to the Bluetooth speakers downstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By anonymous - 11/02/2016 22:45 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I got back to school after being sick for 4 days. I sent emails to my teachers and all but one replied. The one a had a presentation for today. I was sick when it was assigned. I still had to present. I said random facts about Belgium for 12 minutes while earning 3/100 for participating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 11/02/2016 22:40 - Australia - Ashburton

Today, I asked my ex for the number of a painter who did a brilliant job on the house we used to live in. My boyfriend is now upset because I 'should always go to him for help first'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By expired - 11/02/2016 22:36 - Canada - Coquitlam

Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Why? Because I got raped, and now I've been "used by too many guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By liquor store blues - 11/02/2016 22:32 - New Zealand

Today, I got asked for ID at the liquor store, when I showed the lady she wouldn't serve me because she said I was too young, I'm 24, FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anon - 11/02/2016 22:27 - United States

Today, after trying to get pregnant for 16 months, I realized I'm 6 days late. I also learned today that my husband missed some paperwork for my health insurance and I'm not insured. Now I'm hoping I'm not pregnant after all because we'll have to pay out of pocket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By . - 11/02/2016 22:21 - Romania

Today, one of my best friends sent me a link of a 'love test'. I thought it was just a normal one and typed in my crushes name. When I pressed the 'calculate' button they told me: Ha! You've been fooled! Now your friend and everybody else know your crushes name. Wow. Thanks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By photogirlinlove - 11/02/2016 22:19 - United States - Blackwood

Today, I was having a good day. I had recovered from yesterday's vomit-inducing migraine, worked out, done a good bit of homework, and felt pretty good about myself. Until, of course, I sharted myself because of my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By nccccik - 11/02/2016 22:15 - United States - Beverly

Today, my mom kicked out me for breaking up with my girlfriend. Once, she tried to shave off my pubes while I slept because she liked to pretend I was a small boy when we had sex. My mom is mad because this girl was gluten free, and my mom hoped that her "good eating habits" would rub off on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 11/02/2016 22:06 - United States - El Paso

Came to the doctors for routine blood work. Everything is fine except I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. Never had sex in my life. Never an outbreak either. Confused? Yeah me too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By DJ - 11/02/2016 22:06 - United States - Frisco

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I pulled out to give her a facial, only for her to turn away at the last moment. I then blasted semen all into her ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 11/02/2016 21:43 - United Kingdom - Lewes

Today, I realised I have a sugar addiction when I spent almost half an hour digging through my rubbish bin, to find an empty sweet packet to lick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Hukiolukio - 11/02/2016 21:42 - United States - Covington

Today, I went to the bathroom to find the toilet covered in ants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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The Top

Today, I realized that the past 10 years of my life was wasted on being a decent and helpful person only to have people lie about me, physically and verbally attack me, try to ruin my personal and professional life, and even cause me to go into debt and deep depression. All of this because I fell in love with a guy 10 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 205

Today, after I offered my boyfriend of a couple of months to come stay at my place for a few days, he turned up with suitcases… along with his 2 children, who he'd never mentioned having before, despite one of them being a toddler. They seem intent on staying a while, so I'm wondering what to do now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 320

Today, I spilled my guts to my girlfriend, saying I'm scared that all I do is upset her. I then had to sit through a speech about how upset she was that I hadn't told her sooner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 116

You deserved it 4 813

Today, I'm on my second day of a week of antibiotics to treat a bad urine infection. Incidentally, the pills seem to be giving me extremely loud, frequent, gut-wrenchingly painful and smelly diarrhea. Only 5 more days to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 647

You deserved it 132

Today, needing some new music, I logged on to YouTube and clicked "Like" on a few different tracks I enjoy, hoping to spark some good suggestions from the algorithm. My “Personal Mix” now consists of boring, generic techno remixes, with videos showing 100% half-naked women and fast cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 138

You deserved it 380

Today, I had to give an important presentation, so I checked it over one last time before taking a shower and heading out. I found out too late that my brother used that window of opportunity to replace the entire document with the N-word repeating over and over again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 033

You deserved it 2 083