Nearly FMLs

By cosmic_peanut - 12/02/2016 15:46 - Greece - Athens

Today, I finally had some friends over my house.My dog came out of my bedroom with my dildo in his mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By wasteoftime - 12/02/2016 15:41 - Canada - Guelph

Today, after spending the night working on a group project I arrived to class to find that my group didn't want my work and had redone everything.We had agreed I would do the write-up. Just wasted my night. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By harleyquinnxx - 12/02/2016 15:38 - United States - Malone

Today, I fell down the stairs on the porch and now have a giant bruise on my thigh and a bag full of garbage to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By PingusTheDingus - 12/02/2016 15:03 - United States - Marietta

Today, It's Valentines Day at my school. Being single, I knew I wasn't going to get a gift. After class I found a note in my locker. It was from a kid I really like, confessing his love to me. I was so happy, until I read the last part. "I Love You Kate" My name is Ally. Kate is the next locker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Valentines Smalentines - 12/02/2016 14:50 - Russian Federation

Today, I bought Roses and Chocolate for a girl that's in my class for almost $100. However once I got to school I found out she didn't come today because she had an appointment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By peteto818 - 12/02/2016 14:39 - Bulgaria - Gorna Oriahovica

Today, since February is a slow month, I wont be getting paid anytime soon. Being upset I called my long-distance boyfriend and told him about the huge surprise I was planning for valentine's day and how I cancelled my ticket because I cant afford it. While talking, a text popped-I got my salary.FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By 56781234 - 12/02/2016 14:35 - United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend told me That he doesn't want me making friends at my new college because he thinks it will make me more likely to cheat on him. He made this point while he was in the car driving to go play poker with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 14:18 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my son got his first debit card in the mail today after opening his own checking account a few days ago, a few hours later I looked at his recent purchases on his card and the first thing he purchased was porn site subscription, FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Nutjob321 - 12/02/2016 13:58 - United States - Forked River

Today, I just got back to my classes after having a bad infection for multiple days. Trying to be positive, I put on a smile. After completing a lengthy assignment, I realized nothing had saved. I'm glad to be back. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Notgoodwiththeladies - 12/02/2016 13:45 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I was with the girl I like and her friend. I won't be home for Valentines Day, so I gave her her present. She hugged me and thanked me. Then five minutes later she started talking to her friend about the guy she likes, and how she wonders what he will get her for Valentines Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Employed - 12/02/2016 13:00 - United Kingdom - Chelmsford

Today my girlfriend was given the same amount in cash for her birthday than I earn at my full time job in a month. She's 25 and never worked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By CRTNY - 12/02/2016 12:38 - United States

Today, while I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, he told me to get ready for him to finish. He always had a fetish about giving facials, so when I told him no and turned away he shot cum all into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ParadoxOfNames - 12/02/2016 12:33 - Australia - Quakers Hill

Today, I managed to embarrass myself in front of 300 people when I got asked to throw a tennis ball, I managed to completely miss the target and hit an innocent bystander. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 12:16 - United States - Cranford

Today, my Chinese teacher broke my knee in front of the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Fuglybetty - 12/02/2016 11:39 - Norway - Oslo

Today, i caught my husband feeding our red-haired kitten we jokingly named 'Garfield', it was real lasagna. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By bruised and battered - 12/02/2016 11:37 - Australia - Koroit

Today, I was down the street with my husband when we saw some disabled people. He started imitating them, so I smacked him and told him to stop, only for an old lady to come up and start hitting me with her umbrella. He kept up the charade and acted disabled while yelling "don't let her hit me!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Angela - 12/02/2016 11:11 - Australia - Ashfield

Today, I found out that my grandma thinks that I am a slut and have slept with several men.... I am still a virgin... Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By bloodytampon - 12/02/2016 11:11 - United States - Downingtown

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. It was all good, until I stuck my dick in her. She had a tampon in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By stinkybreath - 12/02/2016 10:48 - Australia - North Lakes

Today, I told my 9 year old niece that I loved her. Her immediate reply was, "your breath stinks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 10:47 - Switzerland - Full

Today, even after preparing for weeks, I failed an important test at university. Now, I'm 23, and I still have nothing except for the equivalent of a high school diploma. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 12/02/2016 10:29 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, when trying to confess my love to a girl I have liked for 3 years, I started coughing and ended up throwing up on her shoes FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By OkMother - 12/02/2016 09:20 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my mum told me that maybe i should apply more makeup to look as pretty as my sister. The same sister who knows i have self esteem issues but still calls me ugly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymos - 12/02/2016 09:11 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, me and my boyfriend were having anal sex when he shit himself. Yes, HE shit himself, even though it was me with the dick up my ass. What's worse is he shit himself just as he came so he had no control over his bowels at all and we ended up with shit on the bedroom wall over 10 feet away FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By crazycatlady5513 - 12/02/2016 08:59 - United States - Seattle

Today, I learned that last year, while I was in the hospital recovering from lifesaving surgery, my husband started a relationship with some homewrecking hussie who was fully aware of the fact that he was married. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By crayon_chomper - 12/02/2016 08:48 - Australia - North Willoughby

Today, I was hanging out with my crush and I told him that I was thinking of asking one of my other guy friends out just to gauge his reaction. He got pissed at me almost instantly, not because he likes me back, but because he likes that guy too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By pervert - 12/02/2016 08:24 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, my 4 year old Sister tried to pour soap water into my ears. She told me that it is because Mommy told her I have a dirty mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By and my moms mad at me bc of it - 12/02/2016 08:10 - United States - Lahaina

Today, I found out that I left, and probably lost, my book bag, containing an expensive camera and a journal, that was never meant to be read by anyone, due to all the shit I talked in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anotherschmuck - 12/02/2016 07:53 - United States - Lawrenceburg

Today, at work I was asked if chickens have nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By kirst85 - 12/02/2016 07:52 - Canada - Surrey

Today, I was talking to my ex and we were talking about dating again, then in the same conversation he tells me that he likes this new girl he is talking to. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By plan foiled - 12/02/2016 07:26 - South Africa - Durban

Today. My pick up truck's turbo blew. Five hours before me and my girlfriend were supposed to leave for our valentines getaway. She refuses to believe I planned anything for valentine's day and says it's just a excuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I lost my job, neither by quitting or getting fired. I don't know whether to be mad or confused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 91

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him. When I happily told my dad, he kept asking if I'd consider taking back my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 555

You deserved it 3 687

Today, while parking, I accidentally hit my landlord's daughter's brand new car. I made a huge dent in the side door. I thought nobody was home, so I quickly went to my room. Turns out they were having a barbecue outside and saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 404

You deserved it 51 911

Today, my application for a holiday role at a department store was declined because I was "not as qualified as some other candidates." I worked this exact same job at this exact same store last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 412

You deserved it 93

Today, I was talking to my mother when we both heard a continuous buzzing noise. Unable to locate the source of the noise we gave up. About an hour later, my mother yells down the stairs to me. Turns out my dog stole my vibrator, chewed it and presented it to my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 432

You deserved it 1 591

Today, my sister and I had a fight. In her rage, she threw piles of dirty laundry at me. One of her bloody panties hit me on the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 006

You deserved it 3 867