Nearly FMLs

By broista-barista - 14/02/2016 09:23 - United States

Today, while I was at work alone for the night shift, the stalkerish guy that has been arrested before on attempted kidnapping charges came through for a coffee. As he was leaving he said, "Be safe tonight, there's a lot of crazies out there." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 09:17 - Cambodia - Phnom Penh

Today I was called a bitch by my ex boyfriend for having to remind him he dumped me after he called me saying I love you babe FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Unlisshed - 14/02/2016 09:09 - Australia - Hawker

Today, while walking around naked in my own house, my cat decided to play with some string. Which string? My tampon string.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous (California) - 14/02/2016 09:06 - United States

Today, because my family is all temporarily forced to share a room, I've only gotten 10 hours of sleep this week. Why? Because my dad snores louder than anyone else I've ever heard. Finally, when I brought it to his attention, he denied it, yelled at me, and told me to go to bed. Wish I could . FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 08:49 - United States - Buffalo

Today, I tried anal to excite my boyfriend for Valentine's Day and now I can't get off the toilet.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By douchepant - 14/02/2016 08:43 - India - Mumbai

Today, My bf and I wanted to watch Deadpool. They didn't allow him to because he didn't have his ID on him. He isn't a minor. This resulted in him getting angry and dropping me back home. Happy Valentines day indeed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Reinardd - 14/02/2016 08:25 - Netherlands - Nijmegen

Today, I was expecting a package. I missed it and had to go pick it up at this pick up point on the other side of town. When I got there, it turned out to be a letter for the previous tenant. I got home to find a note saying I missed the delivery of my package. Guess where I have to go get it.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 08:10 - United States - Cumming

Today, I invited this guy I have been talking to over. We ended up having sex, me taking his virginity. Within three minutes of him pulling out, he was already out the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By FellingUnloved - 14/02/2016 07:32 - United States - Cleveland

Today, I thought my boyfriend was gonna do something romantic because this is our 3rd Valentine's Day together. I gave him a really nice gift. He didn't get me anything, or plan anything special. We sat on the couch and watched tv all night. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By misfitunfit - 14/02/2016 07:26 - United States - Lewisville

Today, as I was leaving the store an employee warned me there was a fire outside and to be careful. Thinking it was just something small, I proceeded through the doors just in time to catch the vehicle become entirely engulfed in flames. Guess who was parked next to that (very) hot rod? FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By spanj - 14/02/2016 06:48 - United States - Maple Grove

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our 2 month anniversary, and we got fairly intimate after our date. When I was leaving, I mockingly asked "does this make me your Valentine?", and he replied back that "it was too soon for something like that" without a trace of sarcasm in his voice. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By SilverCranberry - 14/02/2016 06:47

Today, I was woken up when my roommate came back with some random girl. They then went to his bed to have sex. This is a one bedroom dorm room and they're making so much noise I can't even fall back asleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By KneeJerker - 14/02/2016 06:35 - United States

Today, I realized I was so busy that I can't even talk to my friend of 5 years. He's been waiting to hang out for almost a year now, while I am at school longer than I am at home most days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By justcallmemini - 14/02/2016 05:57 - United States - Warrensburg

Today, I called in sick to work two days in a row, taking full precautions to not contaminate the food at the restaurant I work at. I was told that I can't work until I bring in a doctor note. My mom refuses to bring me to the doctor, knowing it's only a cold that will pass over. Stalemate. Fml.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By user2499 - 14/02/2016 05:48 - United States - Downingtown

Today, I opened up to my best friend about the sexual abuse I faced a month ago. She responded by calling me a slut and saying I deserved it. I have no other friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By anon - 14/02/2016 05:47

Today, I sold over priced chocolates to rich dickheads. I get to go in tomorrow at 8am and do it again while my boyfriend sits alone at home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By justdiebitches - 14/02/2016 05:28 - Chile - Santiago

Today, I was super excited about my new colorful pants. I wasn't so excited when the tropical rain washed the color, staining my skin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Soniyaaaa - 14/02/2016 05:20 - United States - Anderson

Today, my tampon fell out. While I was shitting. Straight into the toilet. I spent the next 10 minutes poking around using my toothbrush to get it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By baristalbc - 14/02/2016 05:05 - United States - Victorville

Today, I celebrate my 43rd Valentine's Day on earth. It also happens to be my 43rd Valentine's Day being single. Yay to a day for lovers. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By forever alone - 14/02/2016 05:03 - United States

Today, I realized that I'm the only single sister. I have 4 sisters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Axiomatic0399 - 14/02/2016 04:43 - United States - Sarasota

Today, the day before Valentines Day, my now ex girlfriend told me that she couldn't go out on a romantic date that I've been planning for a month. Why? Because she had to study for a test on Tuesday. My best friend called me to tell me he found her in bed with his brother.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 04:43 - United States - Miami

Today, I bought a phone off Craigslist. I was so happy but then I found out that my SIM didn't work on the unlocked phone. I took it to the store to find out that I paid $600 for a stolen phone. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 2

By MissKenxx94 - 14/02/2016 04:37 - United States - Dearborn

Today, I found my engagement ring that had been missing for a couple days. I found it in my baby's poopy diaper, whether he found it and stashed it there or he swallowed it a couple days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 1

By Anon - 14/02/2016 04:31 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, I found $10 on the ground in my class. I wanted to be a good person so I raised my hand and told the teacher. Everyone in the class started attacking me, saying I should have just kept the money. So much for doing the right thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Blachmyeyes - 14/02/2016 04:29 - United States - Heath

Today, i went to a porn site and I saw someone that looked very familiar, now I know why my daughter can afford all these nice electronics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3

You deserved it 0

By AskingTheBlackVeilHorizon - 14/02/2016 04:25 - United States - Fort Gibson

Today, my girlfriend decided she wanted to tie me to a chair. When she tied me all up and I couldn't move she took off my shoes and socks and started tickling my feet. This continued for almost 2 hours. Her excuse was she thinks my laugh is funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6

You deserved it 14

By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 04:21 - United States

Today, after I had washed my bedding, one of my cats decided to show me how much he enjoyed my efforts and puked right on my bed just after I remade it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ObeyTheWaves - 14/02/2016 04:20 - United States - Chevy Chase

Today, while in the shower I was so focused on thinking of ways one could avoid prison rape that I accidentally dropped the soap. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By shnitzelboi - 14/02/2016 04:20 - United States - Spring

Today, I found walked in the living room to find my moms vibrator and some toilet paper. She played it off as a neck/back massager and said she had to blow her nose. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By woahhhlaura - 14/02/2016 04:18 - United States - Houston

Today, I got my boyfriend a $300 cooler for Valentine's Day, and when I asked what he was getting me, he said he already gave me a gift and pointed to my stomach. I'm 3 months pregnant with his baby.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I realized why my lavender products were no longer helping me calm down. I use lavender so much when I'm anxious that I've associated the smell with anxiety. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 538

You deserved it 725

Today, my wife of 23 years said she wanted a divorce, that she didn't love me anymore and is moving out. Why? I told her I didn't want us to date and have sex with other people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 215

You deserved it 235

Today, I had to help train a new employee at the register. It got busy so I had to take my eyes off her for a few minutes. At that time she managed to let someone walk out with $150 worth of fabric. I couldn't catch the customer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 023

You deserved it 363

Today, I was making Cup Noodles for breakfast. After microwaving it for 3 minutes, I carefully grabbed the cup to pour some water out, but my hand gave out and some water spilled on it. Now I have a burned hand and no noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 771

You deserved it 287

Today, I crossed the street at a crosswalk and someone in a big pickup truck swerved to try to hit me. This has happened to me multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 556

You deserved it 117

Today, because my insane mother doesn’t want me getting a job to afford to move out and never see her again, she put my suit in the freezer last night so I couldn’t go to my 9 a.m. interview. I went in a t-shirt instead and they rejected me straight away for not "taking the interview seriously." FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 78