Nearly FMLs

By NoOneWillCare - 14/02/2016 21:31 - United States - Bakersfield

Today, I attempted to talk to my alcoholic father about my depression and thoughts of suicide. His response? "You're too much of a pussy to do it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By faiona - 14/02/2016 21:03 - Bulgaria - Sofia

Today, I got my long-distance boyfriend an original t-shirt of his favorite soccer team for Valentine's day. He forgot to get me anything, but I said it's OK, at least he came to visit. Then he promptly got mad at himself and pouted for the rest of the day. I can't win. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By stupidpplsuck - 14/02/2016 21:01 - United States - Seaside

Today, I was rubbing my eye when there was an intense pain and my vision went blurry. Turns out that my contact went behind my eye. I still can't get it out. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By farttard - 14/02/2016 21:01 - United States - Greenville

Today, on Valentine's Day, I was planning on hanging out with my boyfriend tonight after work. I'm wearing light blue jeans, as I'm standing there, ringing up a customer, I get my period, suddenly, and very heavily. And still have 6 hours of work to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Willibobs - 14/02/2016 21:00 - United Kingdom - Wigston

Today, my boyfriend surprised me with a couple of sex toys for us because it's Valentine's. The cock ring snapped and twanged him in the balls and the penis sleeve ended up stuck in my vagina. It took us 10 minutes to fish it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By anon - 14/02/2016 20:55 - United States - Bronx

Today, I finished my driver's test thinking I had done pretty well, only to find out that I had failed because the DMV employee had never put on his seatbelt. The next test date I can reschedule for is in five months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 14/02/2016 20:54 - Dominican Republic - Santo Domingo

Today, I'm so broke i had to decide between paying the electricity bill or the water bill FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By WellThen - 14/02/2016 20:49 - Australia - Castle Hill

Today, my boyfriend of 4 months broke up with me by saying, "This movie called How to be Single comes out in a few days and I really think you should watch it." Thanks, Rebel Wilson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Mad_Maxx - 14/02/2016 20:40 - United States - Hammond

Today, I learned that my girlfriend has a photo album on her phone dedicated to a really attractive guy, the album's name is "BOYFRIEND". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By PizzaMan - 14/02/2016 20:39 - United States - Louisville

Today, while at work, a corporate inspector singled me out for not washing my hands. This is despite the fact that I asked her to move several times so I could access the wandwashing station. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anon - 14/02/2016 20:28 - United States - Bronx

Today, I dropped off my car at the auto shop to get an oil change. When I got in and started my car I felt something touch the back of my head, in panic I hit the gas and drove into a wall. When I looked back to see what touched me. I saw a homeless man smiling and laughing at me. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 14/02/2016 20:24 - United States

Today, I had a special surprise planned for my girlfriend of 3 years. I went all out and planned a romantic day that cost a good amount. She decided to instead hang out with her roommate because she "didn't think I cared about Valentine's Day". We celebrated it every year we've been together. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Cold - 14/02/2016 20:19 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I climbed out of my window to sneak out and see my friends. All was going as planned until I returned home. I didn't get caught, but I left the window open. It snowed 6 inches and its -22 degrees outside. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By 20andalone - 14/02/2016 20:14 - United States - Yatesboro

Today, Valentine's Day, the only human interaction I've had was a phone call to tell me I'm not being hired by the company I moved to work at. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Soon To Be Ex-Husband - 14/02/2016 20:10 - United States

Today, for Valentines Day, I got my wife an expensive diamond necklace. She got me divorce papers. FML.

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You deserved it 0

By kenwolfy - 14/02/2016 20:08 - United States - Portland

Today, me and my boyfriend went to qdoba for lunch. We got to checkout and he randomly pulled me in for a kiss. I thought it was romantic until I found out he did it so he didn't have to pay for his entreé. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Soninuva - 14/02/2016 19:36 - United States - Mcallen

Today, my parents berated me for their blu-ray player not working after I used it. I'm the one that set not only that up, but every other electronic device in the house, and fixes them whenever they inevitably mess one up. FML

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You deserved it 0

By wyohellbilly - 14/02/2016 19:28 - United States - Gillette

Today, the girl I invited over to my house for a Valentine's Day lunch, that I prepared, brought along the new man she's with. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Jif_Creamy - 14/02/2016 19:27 - United States - Bronx

Today, my John Cena ringtone went off in church. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By oatmeal1311 - 14/02/2016 19:25 - United States - Porter

Today, my parents felt so sorry for me and my loneliness they insisted I go with them on their date out of town. FML

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You deserved it 0

By thxgrandma - 14/02/2016 19:22 - United States - Tracy

Today,My grandma is visiting from out of state, she decided to help out by cleaning up around the house. She used windex to help polish my new ps4. It now makes popping noises when ever i turn it on.FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 19:07 - United States - San Francisco

Today I logged on to Facebook and saw my girlfriend posted a status update about needing a best friend she can have sex with. When I pointed out that that's kind of what I'm for she replied that "we haven't been dating long enough to be having sex". FML

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You deserved it 0

By Skrillex_Overdue - 14/02/2016 19:06 - United States - Warner Robins

Today,I gave my girlfriend a 5,000 dollar necklace for Valentine's Day only to hear that she gave it to her friend cause she felt sorry for not getting her anything FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 19:05 - Ukraine - Kiev

Today, my girlfriend of 7 months cooked a delicious Valentine's Day dinner that I'm now eating by myself because she wanted to spend time with her friends at a pub. Why did she even cook it to begin with? FML

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You deserved it 0

By appygirlify - 14/02/2016 18:54 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was trying to be cute and act out a song that was playing. My girlfriend was smiling and laughing watching me, until I danced my head straight into hers, knocking myself out. FML

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You deserved it 0

By hshaneberger - 14/02/2016 18:44 - United States

Today, a pipe burst in our upstairs storage room, flooding the room and getting all of the stuff wet. We called the plumber who said we will pretty much have to tear up the room. Happy Valentine's Day to us. FML

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You deserved it 0

By damn - 14/02/2016 18:39 - United States - Katy

Last night,I decided to give my boyfriend my virginity and his mom caught us. she then decided to talk to us about it. FML

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You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 18:29 - United States - Tacoma

Today, on Valentine's Day, I received a message from my ex who can't decide if he's still in love with me or not. The message after not talking for weeks? "Boop..." FML.

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You deserved it 0

By damnit - 14/02/2016 18:24

Today, I was "browsing" PornHub when I came across a video that intrigued me. I clicked on it and was horrified. What did I see? My parents. I need to bleach my eyes. FML

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You deserved it 1

By me - 14/02/2016 18:15 - United States - Bronx

Today, while getting my nose pierced, I sneezed. FML.

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FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I had a sip of my coffee and felt a lump of some kind enter my mouth. I thought it was a bit of biscuit, and then remembered I didn't have biscuits this morning with my coffee. I took it out of my mouth and it was a huge black fly. I then spat the rest of my coffee all over my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 044

You deserved it 4 699

Today, I went to a river near my house. They have several swing ropes that you grab and then jump into the river. As I was about to let go of the rope, my leg got tangled and I was held underwater. My mom watched and laughed for a while before she came to help me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 656

You deserved it 3 066

Today, an old flame reached out with some truly filthy intent. After burning with righteous indignation, I ended up sending back some embarrassingly submissive pictures. What is wrong with me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 656

Today, I was playing with my yo-yo. I began showing off to my friends. When the girl I liked walked by, I thought it'd be really cool to do the move "dog bite". I ended hitting myself in the balls. Hard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 089

You deserved it 37 292

Today, I was looking at baby photos of me with my mom. I realized that I was making a funny face in some of them, particularly when smiling. I asked my mom if that was a silly face I used to like making. She replied, "Oh, Honey no, you had Bell's Palsy until you were two." FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 99

Today, for about the tenth time this month, I opened my mouth and was immediately told to, “Shut the fuck up” before I'd actually said anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 223