Nearly FMLs

By Andrew - 14/02/2016 14:53 - Ukraine

Today, me, my best friend and our girlfriends were discussing where to go on vacation. Me and my best friend's girlfriend wanted to go to the sea. My best friend and my girlfriend wanted to go to the mountains. I jokingly offered to exchange partners. They all agreed. They were serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 14:44 - United States - Bastrop

Today, on Valentine's Day, my girlfriend is being forced to go on a date with her ex-boyfriend because he annoyed her mom into making her go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By brendejafulable - 14/02/2016 14:37 - United States - Chicago

Today, I planned a very sexy day for my boyfriend. I didn't plan on tummy pains caused by diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By CaptFartGiggle - 14/02/2016 14:37 - United States - Shawnee

Today, at work (Wendy's) I was serving food for customers at the drive through window. One customer came up and gave me the Book of Mormon. It didn't help that he gave me a 20 minute lecture in the freezing cold. I had to be nice and listen to them or I'd get in trouble with my manager. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 14:27 - United States

Today, I got my period, a stomach virus, and ringworm. Now I have to explain I might have given ringworm to the guy I'm seeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 13:59 - United States - Benton

Today, as I was having anal play with my bf, a lotioned rubber ball slid up my rear, and we had to work together to get it back out. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 13:59 - Canada - Milton

Today, my manger yelled at me for being an hour early even though my schedule says otherwise. This after yesterday getting a no call no show because she forgot to post the schedule. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ihatejaydentanner - 14/02/2016 13:45 - Australia - Bonnyrigg

Today, I bought my GF a $190 valentines gift basket only to get dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By BrokenHearted - 14/02/2016 13:44 - Japan

Today, it's valentine's day and the day my boyfriend decided to block me on everything to show he'd broken up with me instead of saying it directly to my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By toastbrot - 14/02/2016 13:39 - Germany - Herne

Today, on Valentines Day, my boyfriend found out the hard way that my diarrhea wasn't completely over yet. During cunnilingus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By roxannam - 14/02/2016 13:38 - Canada - Aurora

Today, at my work as a cashier within the first 2 hours of my shift 2 different customers rammed their carts into the candy display, one continued to kick the candy under the display and the other just pretended nothing had happened. I had to clean up after both of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By gnrl - 14/02/2016 13:29 - Switzerland - Zurich

Today, after weeks of dieting I got awful cravings, so I ordered pizza online. While I was waiting for it to arrive, I started feeling so bad I actually went into a full blast panic attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 14/02/2016 13:08 - United States - Xenia

Today, I woke up to a text from the guy I've been talking to wishing another girl a happy Valentine's Day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By jayess - 14/02/2016 12:57 - Philippines

Today, while I was working out at the gym. I noticed a girl looking my way. In an attempt to impress her, I tried push myself. I sharted in my white shorts with shit coming down my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 1

By wormy - 14/02/2016 12:55 - Australia - Spearwood

Today, i found out the reason I've been losing so much weight wasn't because of the strict diet and exercise plan I've been following, it's because of the giant tape worm living in my stomach. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 12:52 - Australia - North Lakes

Today, I swallowed, because I'm a nice person. The only comment the guy made was "you're really bad at being vegan". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By allynicki14 - 14/02/2016 12:47 - United States - Kansas City

Today, my boyfriend of a few years broke up with me after I accidentally spilled water on his alarm clock, cleaned it up, and offered to buy him a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By jen1097 - 14/02/2016 12:42 - Australia - Townsville

Today, I was sitting on the toilet when a sudden sneeze came on. My instant reaction was to use the same bit of toilet paper straight from my ass to catch the snot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Screwed my chances - 14/02/2016 12:34 - Aruba - Oranjestad

Today, there was a really hot girl at the bar. The bar tender told her to come over and talk to me. She introduced herself to me, and I was so amazed by the way she looked that I accidentally spat ice out at her, then introduced myself to her. She looked at me for five seconds and walked away. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By kimjongin - 14/02/2016 12:34 - Australia - Auburn

Today, I bought myself chocolates, flowers and some other cute gifts just so I can show them to my friends whom I told I had the best date ever, I watched movies all day long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By olliebush123 - 14/02/2016 12:17 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, is valentines day it is also the day my girlfriend decided to remind me of her contagious ring worm. I generally don't want to and can't touch my girlfriend on Valentine's day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 12:09 - Australia - North Lakes

Today, as I was walking to the medical office at school to request an x-ray for a serious pain in my left ankle, I tripped, fell, and rolled my right ankle outwards. One hospital trip later, I found I now have not only one, but two broken ankles. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By dannidoll93 - 14/02/2016 11:29 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I decided to have a bath for the first time in ages before my valentine arrived. I had bubbles, crystals, candles and music. I was feeling very relaxed. Too bad a huge spider decided to join me in the tub. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 14/02/2016 11:24 - United States - Lakeland

Today, after months of planning to see snow for the first time and a 16 hour drive to a beautiful mountain ridge, I totalled my recently new car. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - Australia - 14/02/2016 10:52 - Australia - Hove

Today, my mother angrily told me that I'm 'such a pain in the ass.' Why? She wants to put our dog to bed early without taking him to the toilet first and 'how dare I not agree with her' by wanting him to go to the toilet before bed. He has to last for over 12 hours overnight without going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By monster-in-law - 14/02/2016 10:40 - Australia - Bonbeach

Today, my adult boyfriend's mother burst through the bedroom door while we were both nude under the covers. She does this every time I'm there, morning and night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By when will my sock return from the war - 14/02/2016 10:20 - New Zealand - Hamilton

Today, while we were driving down the highway, I had my foot outside the window when suddenly a biker drives up to the window and pulls my sock off, he drove away laughing maniacally, whilst waving my sock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By JefferyLillie - 14/02/2016 10:20 - United States - Fargo

Today, while working I wanted to scare my co-worker back. So I decided to hide in a closet she went to often and wait. When the door started opening I jumped out and said "boo". It wasent my co-worker it was my boss. Now I have a black eye and I'm on suspension. FML!

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Why Mother Nature - 14/02/2016 09:51 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found my body hates me. I'd been so scared that my period would fall on my birthday that I looked up ways to induce it before it came. After 2 weeks of weird home remedies and disgusting tea I gave up. My period did, however come before my birthday. Right during sex with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By AK Costume - 14/02/2016 09:50 - United States - Anchorage

Today, I am the costumer for my high school shows tonight was the last performance and we have to send all the costumes back to the rental company. We can't find a pair of $250 pants. I am responsible for everything and have to pay if we can't find them. There goes the money for senior prom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Kids Parenting Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Intimacy Suspicious Sex Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, while as a therapist, a client made an audible fart and pointed out that she had done so. Shortly after, she wrinkled her nose as she savored the odor. She began to discuss her significant trauma issues. Before I could respond, her fart wafted over to me, making any mature response pointless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 606

You deserved it 166

Today, while watching my guinea pigs have sex, I got jealous. Yeah. It's been that long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 292

You deserved it 13 126

Today, we found out someone got fired, and someone who was supposed to get fired, did not. I wonder if the boss is sleeping with employees, because all the men always get fired, but a few of the women haven't, and one cannot account for $30,000 in missing parts. I'm too old to finesse the boss like the thots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 147

Today, in ballet class, I was really focusing and actually trying to work hard. I was really getting into the choreography. I was travelling big and leaping long. While going across the floor, again I travelled and leaped… right into the ballet bars and fell over, in front of 35 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 109

You deserved it 6 133

Today, I realized that I frequently argue with myself and respond back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 150

You deserved it 13 728

Today, I was undressing for my girlfriend. I thought I was being all smooth and sexy, until I went to sit on the side of the bed and beckon her over. Instead, I sat heavily on my balls, screamed, then fell off the bed sobbing like a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 381

You deserved it 7 160