Nearly FMLs

By Idiot - 15/02/2016 04:34 - United States - Smyrna

Today I texted my ex whom I missed a lot, only to have him respond with "who is this?". I then realized it was truly over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Rammer3500 - 15/02/2016 04:31 - United States - Sugar Grove

Today, I told my best friend, who has been depressed and suicidal lately, that I love her, in an effort to make her feel better. She responds with "thanks, I like you". FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Spentpoet - 15/02/2016 04:30 - United States

Today, I asked for a sign to validate if this girl is right for me. The flowers I bought her for Valentine's were delivered dead. Thanks for the heads up fate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By tycothepsycho - 15/02/2016 04:25 - United States - Libertyville

Today, my friends and I were planning on going on a guys night. All of them ditched the group 1 by 1 until I was the only one spending Valentine's Day alone. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By notrust - 15/02/2016 04:23 - United States - San Jose

Today, I mopped the floor. My mom said it was still too wet to walk on after 10 minutes. I touched the floor with my bare hands and it was dry so I told my mom it wasn't wet. She yelled at me for being "wrong". She didn't even touch the floor, she only looked at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 15/02/2016 04:15 - United States - Hempstead

Today, instead of having sex on Valentine's, I spent it in the hospital because my boyfriend had ruptured a testicle trying to switch his balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By CakeFaceNZ - 15/02/2016 04:14 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I found out my girlfriends ex hates me for dating her and now I have to run home from school or he'll literally knock me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By SuckMyStrider - 15/02/2016 04:12 - United States - Grants Pass

Today, I was making a Valentines Day card for my friend because we had decided to exchange Valentines today. After writing out a heartfelt paragraph on our childhood and what we would be like when we got old, she texted me saying, "Let's just save the Valentines for school okay?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By mads_nicole - 15/02/2016 04:10

Today, I came home from school to find my house was broken into. The dogs were still inside & safe, but the assholes took a bit. With how timing worked out, we know they had to have been watching us. I don't know if I'm more scared of being home alone or of the fact these creeps could come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Fafa - 15/02/2016 04:04 - United States - Madison

Today, I realized in the car driving home on a two hour trip that I had just typed my English essay in German because my dad was talking to his german mom. It was supposed to be about Hawaii and it was in German. That essay was our exam grade. I turned it in, online, and got a 0. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By wegmansnightmare - 15/02/2016 04:02 - United States - Horseheads

Today, my 5 year old brother had to go to the bathroom while we were at the grocery store, I was waiting outside the door when he yelled "Aaaah! a old man!" I ran in to see him with his pants at his ankles peeing and the man 3 urinals down. The man yelled at me for being a pervert and a deviant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By MetallicSkeleton - 15/02/2016 03:49 - United States - Schaumburg

Today, I woke up with a dry throat so I went to drink some water. It was in an almost empty cup I left out yesterday so I figured I'd drink the rest before refilling. When I took a sip something strange touched my face. It was a spider web. And there was a displeased spider in there too. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 1

By mojo0619 - 15/02/2016 03:48 - United States - Cortland

Today, my boyfriend of four years broke up with me. Two days before our week long romantic trip that I paid for. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By wrongparts - 15/02/2016 03:46 - United States - Buffalo

Today, my boyfriend of two and a half years called me to break up with me... So he could hook up with guys. I took his virginity and turned him gay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By SoDone - 15/02/2016 03:43 - United States

Today, I had a super sore throat, to the point that I couldn't eat or talk. I decided to stay home from church and ended up getting the router taken away. Now I have no way to do my project that's due in a few days. On top of that I was forced sit at a restaurant for 3 hours not eating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sleepingonthecouch - 15/02/2016 03:31 - United States - Newark

Today, while I was cleaning my room, I found a small box shaking rather violently by itself. Frightened, I pushed it outside with the back of the broom handle, and opened it. The box was empty and I'm now going to burn my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Animeislyfe - 15/02/2016 03:24 - United States - Stockbridge

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I was only able to get off if I pretended I was actually cheating on his brother with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By michellah - 15/02/2016 03:20 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, I'm 7 months pregnant. My boyfriend thinks it's okay to make fat jokes, every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By redfox1997 - 15/02/2016 03:19 - United States - Muncie

Today, on Valentine's Day, my boyfriend took me to dinner at Olive Garden. I wore a dress and heels, which I despise, and gave him a bag of things I spent days picking out, including a hand-made card. After dinner, he took me to GameStop to pick out a game, the dropped me off at home and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By grieving - 15/02/2016 02:47 - United States

Today, my mom came home from vacation. After opening a paper bag of souvenirs, she started crying. They were special dog treats. My puppy passed away from parvo two days ago. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By onlygiftIgot - 15/02/2016 02:27 - Canada - Montr?al

Today, my boyfriend gave his gym ID to a friend visiting from abroad. His friend got caught and my boyfriend was blocked for three months. I live 1.5 hours away from that gym and had just paid my membership there so we could go together. I cannot have a reimbursement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By fatthom - 15/02/2016 02:14 - United States

Today, when I finally got the chance to hang out with my friend, my dad turns to him and says "thanks for taking my shit head son away". My friend thought it was funny, then realized he was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By NickACD - 15/02/2016 01:46 - United States - El Cajon

Today, I am able to sympathize with women on their periods as a hemorrhoid popped while I was at school. It then bled through my underwear and created a very noticeable red stain on my jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By pissedaf - 15/02/2016 01:42 - United States - Ames

Today I decided to spend Valentine's Day with my best friend instead of my boyfriend because she had just gotten out of a bad relationship and I didn't want her to feel lonely. Today is also the day she ditched me to hang out with the guy she supposedly broke it off with two days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 15/02/2016 01:40 - United States - Fairfield

Today, it's Valentine's day. My bedroom is right beneath my parent's room. I can hear everything. EVERYTHING! FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 15/02/2016 01:40 - United States - Bronx

Today, I was in a sporting goods store testing out the workout equipment. An employee came up to me and said "You can't just come in here and start using the machines!" I replied with "I'm looking to lose weight" His response? "Great idea! Looks like you need it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By wraith_mb - 15/02/2016 01:27 - Canada - Winnipeg

Today, I stopped to help a lady push her car off of a snow bank on the side of the road. While trying to fill ruts with ice chunks, I tried to break one off by shoulder checking it. The ice broke, but so did I. I'm pretty sure from the pain and difficulty breathing I have some broken ribs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By yourhouseplant - 15/02/2016 01:19 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, I got fired from the app development team for doing "no work". I made 75% of the app. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By Shmatterhorn - 15/02/2016 01:18 - United States

Today, I almost caused an auto accident in the parking lot of a repair shop that deals with accident-damaged cars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By notevensomecandy - 15/02/2016 01:16 - United States - Garland

Today, for Valentine's Day, I presented my girlfriend with a huge bouquet of flowers and a scrapbook I'd painstakingly made to document our 4 year long relationship. Her gift to me was a bag of watermelon sour patch kids because she "knows I like them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, I’m finally getting over a bad accident I had, and I'm allowed to start walking again. Alas, I’ve been flat on my back in a hospital bed for so many months, I’m having to get used to standing upright again. I get so dizzy from standing, I keep falling and hurting myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 193

You deserved it 84

Today, I opened my own flower shop. My mom's response was, "Get a job." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 096

You deserved it 80

Today, I've found out that since beginning my new heavy workout regime, my testosterone levels have gone through the roof, making me constantly horny. My girlfriend lives on another continent. The reason I'm working out so hard? To impress her when I see her next. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 123

You deserved it 5 032

Today, my girlfriend decided it would be hilarious if she pulled a prank on me, so she did the classic "bucket of water on a door" one. I ended up getting stitches and a concussion on my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 384

You deserved it 1 983

Today, I’m so ugly, I had to pay for more likes on Tinder because I ran out of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 369

Today, I found a used condom in my bed. I haven't had sex in months and now I'm terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 510

You deserved it 311