Nearly FMLs

By anon - 15/02/2016 10:08 - United States - Huntington Beach

Today, is Valentine's Day. Not only was I dumped today but I was dumped for another girl. His reasoning was because he wanted to spend Valentine's Day with someone he actually cared about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ihada3hourshower - 15/02/2016 09:40 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was power walking in order to catch the train home from a long day at uni and I saw a homeless man in a wheelchair peeing on the footpath. I tried to avoid the trail only to slip on it and fall right into it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sleeplessincali - 15/02/2016 09:32 - United States - Riverside

Today, I had to hear my neighbors have sex. I don't know what's worse, hearing them or the fact that it only lasts for 5 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By arielmr116 - 15/02/2016 09:28 - Canada - Toronto

Today, my boyfriend's 5 year old niece stared at me and asked loudly, "Why are your teeth so yellow?" She tried to tell me that I don't brush enough. I don't know who was more mortified: my boyfriend or me. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 1

By brendanr16 - 15/02/2016 09:26 - United States - Ithaca

Today, on Valentine's Day, I found out that even though I don't have a partner, I still got a gift: chronic diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By kaitieloo - 15/02/2016 09:16 - United States - Puyallup

Today, I found out my boyfriend of over five years cheated on me a couple years ago and had "forgotten" to tell me. Happy Valentine's Day! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Nguyen - 15/02/2016 08:54 - United States - Portland

Today, My girlfriend broke up with me because her parents didn't approve of us. Their reason for that was cause my fathers a drunk. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ShitStrom - 15/02/2016 08:48 - Australia - Sydney

Today, on valentines day I booked a hotel for me and my boyfriend. The room was pristine and white. Then I got my period. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By CringePotato - 15/02/2016 08:44 - United States - Greenwood

Today, my ex-girlfriend sent me a disturbing video of her hanging a cat. She thought it was cute and romantic, and thought it would impress me. What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By samjacksony - 15/02/2016 08:17 - United States - Canton

Today, a cigarette flew in my window while driving and landed in the hood of my sweatshirt. I found out because eventually I smelt smoke and looked behind me. I saw a small fire on me. This ruined my hood, my hair and the drivers seat. its very hard to put a fire out while driving.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By ijustwantedsex - 15/02/2016 08:16 - United States - Oconomowoc

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He was so nervous that he couldn't even get a boner. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By shyrriene - 15/02/2016 08:15 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I slept with a virgin. He called his dick Mr. Weewee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By OfficialJayM - 15/02/2016 08:00 - Australia - Springfield

Today, I cooked my girlfriend a candlelit meal for Valentine's Day. Later that afternoon she told me she doesn't love me anymore and hasn't for quite some time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By lex414 - 15/02/2016 07:59 - Canada - Gatineau

Today, my niece who's 7 years old ran up to me and hugged me and when she got close to my private part she said "ew it smells like fish" and the whole dinner table heard. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous as hell - 15/02/2016 07:39 - United States - Chicago

Today, I went to meet my boyfriend's parents, only to find out that his dad is my ex boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 15/02/2016 07:21 - United States - Roseville

Today, on Valentine's day, I was texting my girlfriend. I learned that if you are typing too quickly, 'baby' can be easily miss-typed as 'Abby". Her name is not Abby and now she won't return my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 15/02/2016 07:19 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I found out the flight I booked a week ago has been moved to 4 hours earlier by the airline. I purposely booked that flight because I don't have the vacation time to take a full day off work.FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 15/02/2016 06:56 - Australia - Adelaide

Today, at what was meant to be a party to introduce our two families, my pregnant girlfriend and I learned we were siblings. I was planning to propose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By deadromance - 15/02/2016 06:53 - Malta - Madliena

Today, my boyfriend actually had the balls to hand me some money and told me to buy myself flowers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By sucks to be me - 15/02/2016 06:51 - United States - Frisco

Today, I found out from social media that my "boyfriend" took another girl on vacation for Valentine's Day weekend. He told me he was with his mom. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By anonymous - 15/02/2016 06:37 - United States - Harrisonburg

Today, I was at an outdoor concert and it was getting cloudy. I felt droplets landing on my shoulder and arm so I looked around assuming it started to rain. Nope, it was just the drunk guy behind me holding his penis "attempting" to pee into a cup. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Anonymous - 15/02/2016 06:29 - United States - Wisconsin Rapids

Today, after much introspection and analyzing of past relationships, I have finally figured out the kind of people who are attracted to me. I am apparently cat nip for married bisexual women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By cantstealthis - 15/02/2016 06:14 - United States - Bronx

Today, I finally gave my old iPad to my younger cousin. Today was also the day he saw a full body nude shot of me, and my boyfriends penis, because iMessage was still connected to my iPad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 1

By Anonymous - 15/02/2016 06:05 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Today, while getting money out at the ATM I felt something spray at me, I turned around and there was a guy peeing in the corner next to me. The spray was his pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By Kitty - 15/02/2016 06:03 - United States - Clermont

Today, I was in bed when my cat started licking me. Out loud I said "will you stop licking me" my friend who was sleeping over at the time replied "yes, sorry" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2

You deserved it 0

By ChiefKoala - 15/02/2016 06:01 - United States - Rockwood

Today, my application for a job was rejected and I didn't have a Valentine's to do something with. To add to it, when my shitface dad came home with my mom he condescendingly said "You know if you'd try hard enough you wouldn't have to spend this holiday alone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By admin1771 - 15/02/2016 05:43 - United States - Falls Church

Today, I warned my family at a dinner about the iPhone glitch that shuts off your iPhone permanently if you set the internal date to 1/1/1970. My cousin misheard me and she thought she should do just that. I spent 5 hours at the Apple Store to get it fixed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By gingerlover01 - 15/02/2016 05:42 - United States

Today, a boy a year up in school from me confessed his undying love to me and explained how he used to stare at me when I wasn't looking because he didn't want to upset my "boyfriend". I don't know what's worse that this isn't unusual for me or that he mistook my brother as being my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By spookyjohnson - 15/02/2016 05:35 - United States - Pittsburg

Today, I got to work and found expensive flowers and jewelry on my desk... from the only coworker I HAVE to see daily. I've already rejected his advances multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

By sunny_moonbeam - 15/02/2016 05:26 - United States - San Leandro

I realized my boyfriend is an extremely thoughtful man. So thoughtful that he decided he should be the one to bring my best friend out of her three year "drought". FML.

I agree, your life sucks 1

You deserved it 0

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, my neighbour from across the road phoned me at work telling me there was a fire engine outside my house and a lot of smoke. I drove home in a panic, smashing a rear light on a post and getting flashed by a speed camera. It wasn't my house. The firemen were putting out a bonfire next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 877

You deserved it 6 635

Today, I woke up to a red, raised, extremely itchy rash covering my whole body, face included. I have an 18-hour bus ride to look forward to this afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 306

You deserved it 228

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 635

You deserved it 4 445

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 340

You deserved it 5 791

Today, I called my ex-girlfriend to see if she would meet up with me so I could give her money to pay off the rest of the TV we had on layaway before we broke up. Turns out she cancelled it and took all the money I put into it. I put $500 down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 754

You deserved it 425

Today, after patiently waiting to see my boyfriend for a month because he was overseas, I excitedly went to the airport to finally pick him up, only for him to walk straight past me to greet his friends. He didn't even bring back anything for me, but brought back a suitcase full of goodies for his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 606

You deserved it 115