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  • Number of visits : 11376
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 15 posted

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turnedoffTVgrey's page activity

Visits<b>Zetom</b> - the 09/25/2016 at 8:16am<b>iLoveCars</b> - the 09/10/2016 at 11:54pm<b>Darkarron</b> - the 05/06/2016 at 11:19am<b>facelick</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 1:32pm<b>Vitrolicz</b> - the 01/08/2016 at 11:01am<b>RageWolf16</b> - the 11/28/2015 at 10:10pm<b>isabelc</b> - the 11/13/2015 at 10:41pm<b>courtzzz23</b> - the 10/23/2015 at 1:32pm<b>C7</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 8:54pm<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/20/2015 at 11:59pm<b>chager59</b> - the 08/26/2015 at 1:13am<b>Skyzeri</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 4:36pm<b>chrissapp</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 12:58pm<b>dapoog124</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 10:38am<b>EnigMind</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 4:30am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 12:31pm<b>happysmile987</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 5:28am<b>ichiukia</b> - the 12/17/2014 at 4:24pm

turnedoffTVgrey's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

turnedoffTVgrey's favorite FMLs

Today, I was looking through my computer's history to find a website I had visited. I found an online forum where my son was discussing how to inject Oxycontin. FML

by Rehab / 02/11/2010 at 2:58pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, my mom held an intervention for me. Yesterday, I told her I'd tried pot once. Seven years ago. FML

by EgoMoose / 12/28/2009 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I finally told my girlfriend I love her. She corrected my grammar. FML

by ITalkGood / 12/27/2009 at 7:37pm / Love

Today, I was in bed with my cat on my lap. No one was around, so I felt comfortable enough to let out a huge fart. What I didn't expect was my cat jumping up and then clawing and biting my crotch. FML

by axwound / 12/27/2009 at 8:04am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, from my girlfriend of five years, I got my clothes back, my engagment ring and a card that says, "Merry Christmas! It's me not you." FML

by C45 / 12/25/2009 at 3:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I walked into Old Navy to buy myself a pair of jingle jammies. Save yourself the embarrassment: don't shake the jammies in the middle of the store to hear the jingling, because these jammies do not jingle. You'll just look like an idiot. FML

by sarabalism / 12/17/2009 at 12:07am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I handed my resume in to a cafe that was hiring. I returned home and noticed a voicemail, it was one from the boss for a trial. I eagerly returned the call, showing my enthusiasm. Without thinking, I ended with "ok love you. *GASP* ah, BYE" and quickly hung up. FML

by babyfatt / 12/16/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2009 at 7:05pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was at ATandT getting my phone fixed. At one point, the salesman said 'you should see this'. It was a text message from some girl apologizing for sleeping with my boyfriend for the past four months, and telling me that they were moving him out of our apartment. FML

by LTJFP / 10/25/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, I was eating MandMs on a chair when I dropped one and it fell under my crotch. My mom came in to see my hand on my crotch and me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" FML

by awilson / 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I discovered that I don't have Herpes or Genital warts. I have acne on my penis. FML

by Curt / 09/06/2009 at 2:19pm / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, my 5 year old swallowed her loose tooth, which she was going put under her pillow for the toothfairy. My wife then told her 'what goes in must come out'. And now everytime she does number 2, she makes me dig for her lost tooth. FML

by shoelace18 / 09/06/2009 at 12:19am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I tried to wash my cat in the shower, conveniently naked myself. He disapproved, scratching my man-parts and nicking a vein. I just got back from the hospital with a blood infection, swollen nuts, and an hole in my butt where I had to get a shot of antibiotics. FML

by keeperstride / 09/03/2009 at 3:55pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

by ZSL / 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm / United States (New York) / Love

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

by OhFseriously123 / 08/06/2009 at 6:05am / Italy (Lombardia) / Intimacy