Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

thedevilspawn

Online | Search for a member

thedevilspawn

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 450
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About thedevilspawn : I like to read about how much other people's lives suck.

thedevilspawn's page activity

Visits<b>Powdercakes</b> - the 04/15/2015 at 12:02am<b>Michaelphiri</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 3:48am<b>JMichael</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 2:22pm<b>jmon707</b> - the 04/11/2015 at 12:19am<b>Codezlol</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 7:22pm<b>Blee864</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 12:42am<b>igg125</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 10:41am<b>fatiezzhm</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 9:35am<b>maricruz486</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 4:18am<b>Mc_Knapkins</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:08am<b>LosTe</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 1:43am<b>damnitstrue</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 1:10am<b>astonfrye</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 11:01pm<b>imerichello</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 10:10pm<b>jewstooge</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 9:41pm<b>Paul15</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 9:24pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 8:20pm<b>Reach_117</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 7:11pm

Fucked!<b>Michaelphiri</b> - the 04/13/2015 at 9:49am<b>damnitstrue</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 7:10am<b>imerichello</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 4:10am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 2:20am

thedevilspawn's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

A new Thumb

You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.

See all of thedevilspawn's badges

thedevilspawn's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband bought me XL pajamas for my birthday. I got really angry, telling him that's obviously not my size. I tried them on just to show him how ridiculous they look. They fit. FML

#21336954
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21228) - you deserved it (36831)

On 01/14/2015 at 12:49pm - love - by middleagednurse - United States (Florida)

Today, I was fired for "blatant, inexcusable racism". My boss had asked me which website background I preferred for our company, and I said that white backgrounds are usually best. He thinks that I believe in white supremacy, and that's bad for the company's image. FML

#21334747
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32080) - you deserved it (2358)

On 01/10/2015 at 10:02pm - work - by Jem (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my loving five-year-old daughter started singing Christmas carols again. Ones that she made up herself, of course. Including "Walking in a fucking wonderland" and "Rudolph the red nosed asshole". FML

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40824) - you deserved it (5692)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, I bought some noise-canceling headphones. They work well. Too well. My mom came home, unpacked her shopping, walked upstairs, knocked on my door, opened my door, and found me jacking off to a porno, all without me hearing a thing. Fucking hell. FML

#21246585
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39015) - you deserved it (37963)

On 08/27/2014 at 5:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw a bulge in my friend's pocket. I poked it and asked, "What'cha got there?" He said, "Uh, that's my dick, Mike." FML

#21235845
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43395) - you deserved it (27737)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by not a dick-man (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

#21229613
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50063) - you deserved it (4312)

On 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

#21228488
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23408) - you deserved it (45218)

On 08/03/2014 at 2:49pm - misc - by ew - United States (Texas)

Today, I was interviewing a woman for a job. She told me that she may need days off because of her artistic son. I jokingly replied, "Does he color on the walls or something?" She then stared at me with a weird look on her face. Autistic, her son is autistic. FML

#21205262
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38076) - you deserved it (19709)

On 07/10/2014 at 6:17pm - work - by dammit hearing aid - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was showing the guy I like something on my phone. My period tracking app decided it was the perfect time to tell me that I need to stock up on tampons, because I'm getting my period tomorrow. FML

#21197391
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44621) - you deserved it (8135)

On 07/03/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by blood buddies - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife bought a strap-on. I'm about fifty miles beyond terrified. FML

#21184387
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58115) - you deserved it (8025)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by possibly fucked (man) - Portugal (Lisboa)

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

#21184110
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45628) - you deserved it (3531)

On 06/22/2014 at 11:10am - misc - by paywithpoop - United States

Today, my boyfriend once again cancelled a date because he has too much homework. His professor is my dad, who's assigning astronomical amounts of homework to keep us from seeing each other. FML

#21180214
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57333) - you deserved it (4532)

On 06/19/2014 at 1:28am - love - by professorsdaughter - United States (Washington)

Today, we had a guy come into the hospital with a carrot stuck deep in his anus. I've heard all kinds of ridiculous cover stories, but his took the cake; he claimed the phone rang while he was showering and he slipped onto a box of vegetables. Guess who had to extract the carrot. FML

#21179512
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52545) - you deserved it (4617)

On 06/18/2014 at 3:06pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57662) - you deserved it (6940)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: