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snufflebubble's favorite FMLs
Today, I learnt that the people I work with dislike me so much that they have a competition to see who can accidentally hurt me the most. How did I find out? A chef poured boiling water over my hands, and another shouted "50 POINTS!" FML
by Cooky / 03/14/2010 at 5:09am / United Kingdom (Calderdale) / Work
by leapple / 03/13/2010 at 8:17pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML
by cmore / 03/10/2010 at 8:10pm / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
Today, after taking my girlfriend on a date, she invited me back to her place for "hot coffee and dessert". Excitedly, I said yes. When we got there, we actually had coffee and dessert. When I told her this wasn't what I'd had in mind, she kicked me out for being a pervert. FML
by Anonymous / 03/10/2010 at 4:12pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
by anonymous / 03/08/2010 at 10:12am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I stole a bite of my boyfriend's hamburger. He threw a fit, saying I took too big a bite and I had to replace it with a new, more expensive one. Afterwards, he said how lucky I was he didn't break up with me then and there. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2010 at 12:15pm / Estonia (Harjumaa) / Love
Today, I saw my boyfriend of two years had joined a group on facebook called 'Guys who are proud of their girlfriends'. I smiled and was about to like it when I noticed a comment below from a girl saying "Awww thanks babe :) xxxx". FML
by FBfail / 02/28/2010 at 8:10am / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Love
by ughno / 02/21/2010 at 2:50pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I went in to my local cafe for my morning coffee. I was chatting to the barista as she was making it, and I mentioned that I was starting a new diet. She goes, "Oh that's great! I've been sneaking skimmed milk in your coffee for years, I didn't want to say anything..." FML
by Skimilk / 02/17/2010 at 9:47pm / Australia (Victoria) / Health
Today, my boyfriend and I went for a swim in his pool. I was hoping that the swim would be somewhat romantic, however, that came to an abrupt end when he decided that it would be cool and funny to try and lift me up by my boobs. FML
by Anonymous / 01/20/2010 at 11:17am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I bought a new Siamese Fighting Fish. I was so happy with my new fish so I bought him an expensive lovely bowl, some weeds, and a toy for the bowl. I left the room to get the fish food. When I returned, the fish was gone, and the cat was sitting on the table. FML
by bels12 / 01/05/2010 at 12:15am / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals
by loser / 01/03/2010 at 7:00am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, my mother forwarded me an email my stepdad had sent her because he was annoyed that I left a light on last night. Talk about communication problems. I wonder how I'm going to tell them I'm pregnant. FML
by Anonymous / 01/03/2010 at 5:36am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Health
Today, I was told by 'Seventeen' to add liquid highlighter to my foundation for an all-over glow. Little did I know that liquid highlighter is an actual makeup product. I now have an awful rash due to applying the ink from a highlighter pen. FML
by rtrim29 / 12/26/2009 at 11:18am / United States (Florida) / Health
- Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call… Today, because I’m on my period, I asked my boyfriend to turn around so I could change my clothes.… Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only…