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Offline (the 10/23/2016 at 7:22pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5786
  • Number of comments : 144
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About reneetlovesyou : There's not much to say. I'm pretty much trash.

reneetlovesyou's page activity

Visits<b>dextrementor</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 8:43am<b>TexanZaros</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 9:27pm<b>TrueDash</b> - the 08/20/2016 at 4:35pm<b>yenze</b> - the 07/27/2016 at 12:04am<b>DeezButs67</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 7:40am<b>ikeb</b> - the 06/17/2016 at 11:09am<b>Laxinitup</b> - the 06/13/2016 at 9:43pm<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 06/05/2016 at 12:21pm<b>rivimatt</b> - the 05/12/2016 at 9:41am<b>angrykid11</b> - the 04/27/2016 at 6:42am<b>dominguez89</b> - the 04/22/2016 at 3:13am<b>MaxTheNeko</b> - the 04/10/2016 at 3:29pm<b>shabadabba</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 7:36pm<b>Skydiver2001</b> - the 03/31/2016 at 5:34pm<b>crudeandrudeguy</b> - the 03/28/2016 at 8:49am<b>SorrowsReward</b> - the 03/03/2016 at 7:16am<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 11:20am<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/16/2016 at 10:13pm

Fucked!<b>tin_cup</b> - the 02/24/2016 at 5:20pm<b>Wane8822</b> - the 02/17/2016 at 4:13am<b>Technastar</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 10:22pm<b>Adamjohn82</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 3:25pm<b>Tenker</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 5:06am<b>mehibud</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 10:08pm<b>FFStepchild283</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 2:38pm<b>worldfamous00</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 12:25pm<b>Codezlol</b> - the 12/20/2015 at 10:19pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 5:50pm<b>khoov19</b> - the 11/20/2015 at 2:31am<b>skobisco</b> - the 10/12/2015 at 3:08am<b>enginsteve</b> - the 10/06/2015 at 10:39am<b>Hildy93</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 7:03am<b>AyeTee77</b> - the 09/15/2015 at 3:37am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 3:33pm<b>keiNan</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 8:43am<b>paravoz</b> - the 09/04/2015 at 8:07am

reneetlovesyou's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of reneetlovesyou's badges

reneetlovesyou's favorite FMLs

Today, my son told his 8-year-old sister that since she swallowed an apple seed, that a tree is going to grow in her stomach and kill her. She's inconsolable and won't believe that she'll be fine, because "they say that to all the dying people on TV". FML

by ulisha5 / 08/02/2013 at 5:54pm / Bulgaria (Burgas) / Kids

Today, I was buying ingredients for a salad. I had only picked up a few cucumbers, when an elderly lady came up to me and murmured, "Make sure you use lots of lube, or that'll hurt. Been there, sweetheart." What the HELL? FML

by um... what the fuck, miss? / 08/02/2013 at 4:23pm / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, after giving me my very first orgasm, my boyfriend sat me down and had a serious chat with me about my orgasm face. Apparently it reminded him of the scene in the Exorcist with the possessed girl, and it really freaked him out. FML

by right / 08/02/2013 at 10:08am / United Kingdom (Dorset) / Intimacy

Today, while lying in bed, my boyfriend began to stroke my nose. "You can pick your girlfriend, but you can't pick your girlfriend's nose," I said playfully. In response, he shouted "Yes, I can!" before painfully jamming his pinky up my left nostril. FML

by booger / 07/18/2013 at 3:41am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up for years, but when I saw the pack I just couldn't help myself. One taste was enough to make me finish off the whole pack. Nobody knows that I've fallen off the wagon and I'm so ashamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuits again. FML

by Aliiiice / 07/16/2013 at 9:18am / France (Haute-Normandie) / Health

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

by hamburger / 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML

by Anonymous / 07/04/2013 at 12:27pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Kids

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I finally realized that when my seemingly very judgmental fiancé makes negative comments about other women, it's actually just an excuse to keep ogling them. FML

by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 1:35pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my seven-year-old son put a spider in the microwave. Animal cruelty? No. The goal was to irradiate it, then get it to bite him so that he would become Spider-Man. FML

by SpiderFather / 07/02/2013 at 4:01am / France / Kids

Today, I was working as a nurse, and an elderly man had just passed away. As the patient's wife was leaving she said, "Thank you for taking such good care of my husband." Then I, intending to say "Sorry for your loss," said "Thank you for your loss." FML

by Anonymous / 07/01/2013 at 4:35pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. Now my back is in agonizing pain, and I can barely walk. FML

by TooYoungForThis / 06/30/2013 at 12:36am / Canada / Health

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

by authorx / 06/27/2013 at 12:39am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation

Today, I decided to try Karate. In an attempt to roundhouse-kick a hanging boxing glove, I knocked over a lamp, lost my balance and pulled down my curtains. My neighbor then looked through the window, started laughing and yelled, "KUNG FO POWA!" FML

by blahblah / 06/26/2013 at 9:57pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was planning on having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, so I asked my roomate to stay out of our apartment. About half-way through, my roomate blared "The Eye of the Tiger" from the other side of the door. My girlfriend laughed so hard that we couldn't finish. FML

by Anonymous / 06/18/2013 at 12:16pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy